The second I saw her, I wanted to throw my good arm around her and crush my lips onto hers, but her husband was standing in the corner, a permanent glare on his face. “Maybe you should step outside for a sec.”
“I ain’t gonna leave her alone with you,” he barked. “But…go ahead.” His lips twisted. “If she’s okay with it, give her a hug.”
She nodded at me with a tiny smile. I embraced her with all my strength, filling my lungs with her scent. Then I couldn’t help myself and devoured her lips.
Her body acted like it did with our first kiss. Frozen, then responsive, then fuming. “Ty!”
Furore ran to my bed, fists clenched. “I said a fucking hug is all. She’s my wife, you son of a bitch. Fuck you.”
“Cut me some fucking slack. She was about to die. She’s still the girl I love, and she was about to die with bullet in her head.”
“You saved me,” she said softly. “You both did.”
“I’d die for you. I’d kill for you. And so would he.” It left a bitter taste to say the last part. “You never should have to do that for either of us, though. I can’t believe I have to tell you this like you don’t know it. Among the three of us, if someone deserves to live, it’s you, Jo.”
“You wanted me to kill you.”
“You should have. I deserve it for what I did to you. I should have never hurt you like that, Jo.”
“Even so, I can’t kill you, Ty. You’re my first love. You’re the son of the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with. I’d rather take my own life.”
“Neither of you should die. Neither of you should have pulled any of that shit you did,” Furore said. “I don’t understand how either of you would be so eager to fucking die. You telling her to off you, and you holding a gun to your own head, what the fuck?”
“We sing, but oh the clay is vile beneath our feet, and long the mile. But let the world dream otherwise, we wear the mask…” I said.
“We smile, but our cries to thee from tortured souls arise,” she finished.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Anger dripped from his voice.
“It means Jo and I have always been tortured souls. Death is more of a relief than tragedy. It’s what drew us to each other, the pain, and then the hope of salvation our hearts yearned for in each other’s company.”
“Then I came and fucked it all up for you, right?”
“I’ve loved you with all my heart, Laius,” she said. “In you, I found everything I’ve ever looked for. But I was wrong to think I could build a life with you on Ty’s pain. The second I knew he was your son, I should have told you, and I should have left. But I was too selfish, too in love to walk away.” Tears fell down her cheeks. “It’s time I made things right.”
My heart roared. I grabbed her hand manically. “You’re not fucking leaving.”
“What did I tell you before I left you with Michele?” Furore barked.
“I don’t want to leave you, Laius. To be honest, I don’t want to leave either of you. It’s terrible of me, but I didn’t even want to choose between the two of you.” She sniveled. “Do you know why I really had that last attack?”
I grimaced. “Because we agreed I’d move on, but I couldn’t. You thought I’d always force you and there was no way out.”
She shook her head. “I had that attack because I was so ashamed of myself that I was willing to accept what you wanted us to do. Nobody should want to be violated like you violated me. Nobody should want to be used and abused like you did to me. Nobody should want to be shared between her husband and her ex, a father and son.” She shook her head again. “But part of me did.”
Crying, she gazed at Furore. “I’m sorry, Laius. I am yours, but I had no idea how fucked up I was, but part of me will always want and crave whatever the fuck he will do to me, no matter how painful, depraved or twisted. No man can live with that.” She breathed out a moan. “I refuse to choose between the two of you anymore. I refuse to hurt either of you anymore. I can’t watch the three of us die slowly every day anymore.”
“I can’t share you, Jo,” he said.
“I’m not asking you to. It’s… There are no words for it. My mind can’t even begin to grasp what my body…” She cried again. “That’s why I have to go. It’s the only way you can become a family again, and the only way for me to stop feeling all this suffocating guilt and start breathing again.”
Blazing silence sliced at me, and by the look on their faces, at them, too.
I gritted my teeth at him. “Why the fuck not? If she wants it, and if I can let go of my hate for you and my possessiveness over her and agree to share her with you, the one who stole her from me in the first place, why the fuck can you not?”
“You want me to let you fuck my wife? Your stepmom?”
“She’s my girlfriend. I don’t care if you fucking married her. She was mine first. But…” I raised a hand between us before he’d snap, “I’m over it. You make her happy. You give her something I don’t, and you protect her better than I do. If she wants you, she can have you, but I can’t stop myself from wanting her. I’d rather lose my eyes than hurt her again. I’d rather lose my life than live in a world where I can’t touch her. My heart won’t beat for anyone but her.”
I kissed her hand that I would never let go. “You can’t leave me, Jo. I’ll do anything to make you stay,” I said. “I’ll beg you every day of my life and bow at your feet, my queen. I’ll be tenderness, roughness, delicacy, coarseness, sentiment, sensuality, soaring and groveling, dirt and deity, all mixed up in that one compound of inspired clay.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, stop with that pompous ass shit, you fucking showoff.” He frowned at her, grabbing her other hand. “I won’t let you leave me, either. You don’t have a say in it.”
Her face contorted with emotion. “As much as I’d love to, it’s not possible.”
“It will be.” His nostrils flared, and his jaw twisted. “It’s gonna be fucking hard, but it will be. I said I wouldn’t share you, but I can’t fucking lose you. I can’t.”
“Laius…you can’t accept this just for me. I can’t even accept this about me yet. Wanting a father and a son together…”
“When you say together, you don’t mean at the same time, right?”
