more worked up than I’ve been all week.
She was there. With him. On a fucking date?
I drop the gear down in my Vulcan and step on the gas. The engine purrs and I speed toward my house.
Dinner was a disaster. Spencer’s a tough old bastard. Dad’s right. He’s a businessman who knows what he wants, and he isn’t backing down. I’m getting nowhere. My only hope now is that the extra investment I got from Sterling is enough to push Vex through without Spencer’s involvement. But I’ve looked at the figures a hundred times and they tell me it won’t work. But I’ll check them again and again. A thousand times, a fucking million times if that’s what it takes. If I can get this project started without Spencer, then it could solve all our problems. We won’t need a merger. Or a sham marriage.
Gabrielle’s been uncharacteristically quiet about the whole thing since our meeting in the hotel. I can’t believe that she wants this either. She’s doing it for Spencer. A loyalty which I admire and understand. But even good intentions can’t make this situation any less fucked up than it is.
My jaw clenches as my wipers turn on, swiping away the fast-falling drops of rain. I didn’t expect to see Maddy tonight. And I didn’t expect Nate to wrap his arm around her as they left. A protective gesture. One that had my blood boiling and wanting me to storm across the room and wrench his fingers from his hand, one by one.
I flex my hands around the steering wheel, then pump the brakes, turning sharply into an empty side road and swinging the car in a one-eighty before putting it back into gear and racing in the opposite direction, one destination in mind.
My Bluetooth chimes with an incoming call. I hit answer, hiding the swelling dread in my gut as one of the investors for project Vex connects through.
“Mr. Rich?”
“Mr. Drayton, what can I do for you?”
My voice remains smooth and calm throughout our conversation. And for the investor who calls right after him. And the one after that.
It stays smooth and calm the entire time, masking the inferno raging inside me as I speed toward my destination in the hammering rain.
“I’m not leaving until you talk to me,” I yell at the panel, growing more soaked by the second.
There’s a click from the intercom and Maddy’s voice breaks through the dark night air.
“What are you doing?” she hisses.
She sounds more like herself than she did in the restaurant. Fired up. Ready to fight.
“Do you have company?” I grit.
“What?”
“Are you fucking alone?” I tighten my hand into a fist where it’s resting up against the wall, to prevent me from punching the door in.
I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been. She’s been listening to his books. I even bought her an advanced copy of his fucking audio to listen to. Does she listen to him in the bath still? In bed? Does she even need to anymore? Now that she has the real thing. Does she ask him to say the things to her he says in the books?
Does she come harder for him hearing his voice in her ear than she does for me?
“I swear to God, Mads.”
I thought I was fine seeing her there with him. I acted fine. I didn’t want to cause a scene for her, upset her. But then his hands were on her. His hands. On her.
“What do you think?” she snaps. “Of course I’m alone.”
The door unlocks and I barge through, slamming it back against the wall as I rush straight to her apartment door. She’s flung it open in readiness for me, her eyes blazing as she glares at my dripping form on her doorstep.
“What is it? You want white picket fences and missionary sex for the rest of your life? Because he sure looks the type.”
“What?” Confusion clouds her face as I step inside, throwing the door shut behind me and backing her up against the hallway wall, panting with barely contained anger.
“With him? Nate.” I spit out his name like it’s burning my tongue.
“He—”
“He can’t give you what you need, what you want.”
I’m so close that I’m dripping water onto her thin cotton tank top and the shorts she’s wearing. One drop lands and makes the material darken so the tight, light brown bud of her nipple shows through. I clench my jaw to stop from biting it. To show her she’s mine. I’d mark her all over her perfect body to show her if I could. She is mine. As much as she fights it.
“You don’t know what I want.” She looks into my eyes.
“I know you better than you think.” I plant my palms against the wall either side of her head, caging her in as I press against her, my heart hammering against my ribs.
“It doesn’t matter.” Her eyes tighten at the corners. “We need to be serious. This… Us… It can’t happen anymore. You know that, right? You must know that!”
“We need to be serious?” I hiss, inching closer until my lips are almost grazing hers. My wet thumb drops to her face, tracing over her cheeks.
“Yes,” she breathes.
“I am serious. I am seriously fucking wrecked because of you.”
A muffled sob escapes her throat. “No.”
“Yes… Fuck. Yes.” I relish the way her body shivers against mine. “You make my blood boil. You… Fuck, you think I’m infuriating? You’re making me lose my goddamn mind,” I growl. “Tell me you don’t want him. Tell me you want me. Admit it. For once, just fucking admit it.”
She pants, her body continuing to tremble where it’s trapped between me and the wall. Her clothes are soaking up the rainwater from mine, making us stick together. Between that and my arms either side of her, she’s sealed in with no escape.
“Did he kiss you goodnight?” Before she can answer, I tilt my head, catching her cheek with my lips. “Here?” I drop to her neck, and she draws in a breath. “Here?” I plant another kiss against her hot skin. “Or here?” I drop to her shoulder. “Or maybe here?” I kiss the dip between her collar bones. “Tell me where he fucking kissed you, Mads, because I’m going to erase every single one until you only feel my lips on you.”
“He didn’t,” she utters, her words dying as I lift my face back to hers.
“Did you want him to?”
She presses her lips together.
“Did you want him to?” I snap.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Logan—”
“Why the fuck not?”
“Because he’s not you,” she chokes. “He’s not you.”
The breath leaves my lungs as she’s finally honest with me. I crash my lips over hers, stealing the air from her lungs to feed mine. I kiss her hard. Harder than I ever have before, like I need to climb inside her and mark her with my tongue from the inside out to prove my point.
She is mine.
“Say it again.” I palm her tits roughly through the damp material. Maddy’s mouth drops open, and she murmurs something that sends even more blood racing to my throbbing dick. “Louder.”
“He’s not you,” she whispers.
I pinch her nipples before pushing her top up and dropping my head to suck one.
“Louder.”
“He’s not you,” she says again, her voice pitching as I graze her with my teeth.
“Fucking louder!”
“He’s not you,” she cries as I suck hard.
“No, he’s fucking not.” I move to suck the other side, groaning deeply as she sinks her hands into my hair and tugs.
She grabs the shoulders of my soaking jacket and pushes it down my arms. I straighten and rip it off, throwing it to the floor. I dive in to kiss her lips, groaning into her mouth as I pull my wet shirt from my pants, and she rips my belt free from the buckle.
“He’s not you,” she repeats as I tear my shirt off and then rid myself of the rest of my clothes, my lips diving back onto hers every available second.
I peel her wet tank up over her head and throw it onto the floor.
“He’s not you,” she moans as I push my hand down the front of her shorts and inside her panties.
A deep groan vibrates in my chest as I’m met with wetness, welcoming me like it’s been screaming out to be spread over my fingers.
“That’s right.” I force her shorts and panties over her hips and hold her waist as they fall to the ground. Then I lift her, not even waiting until her legs are around my waist before I’m burying myself deep inside her, pushing her back against the wall with force. “He isn’t fucking me,” I growl as my balls meet her body.
She drops her head back, a satisfied moan breaking free of her lips as I pull back and then thrust inside her again.
“Bedroom,” she gasps.
I pull out and hold her tight, and she snakes her arms around my neck as I carry her to her room. She’s sucking on my neck, her nipples pressed tightly against my chest as my cock throbs.
“How do you want—?”
“I don’t care, just fuck me,” she groans into my neck.
I set us down on the bed, breaking her lips away from my neck. “Feet over my shoulders.”
She does it without a word, sliding her legs over my arms, gasping as I grab her calves and force them up near my ears.
“Don’t take your eyes off mine. I want to see you come apart for me. I want you to understand that you can’t fucking ignore this any longer.”
The rage I felt earlier has turned into pure liquid fire, heating my veins with urgency. Urgency to hear my name on her lips as she comes for me. I need it.
She quivers, but her eyes stay on mine as I line up and then plunge deep inside her. My wet hair drips onto her face and her mouth drops open as she cries out. It makes me move faster. Each gasp from her flushed, parted lips is like fuel to my body. Making it drive deeper inside hers.
I fuck her hard, pump after pump of all-consuming, body-hitting thrusts that make her tits bounce in the space between us.
“Logan.” Her nails bite into my biceps.
I lean to kiss her, forcing her legs back and pushing my cock deeper. “Say my name again,” I growl.
“God, Logan.” Her lips tremble against mine.
“You ready to come for me, baby?” I groan, biting her bottom lip.
She moans loudly.
I thrust into her hard a few more times.
“You need me to give it to you?” I flex my cock inside her. She responds by clenching around me.
“Fuck,” I groan, thrusting deep again. “I’m going to come so hard inside you.”
“Yeah?” she pants.
“Fucking yes, baby.” I dive into a kiss, sweeping my tongue past her lips as she whimpers.
“What are you waiting for?” she gasps as I slide in deep again, my balls pulling close to my body.
“I’m waiting for you to admit you’re mine. Admit it… Because fuck, Mads. I’m yours. I’ve been yours since Italy. Admit it.” My jaw and neck clench as I fight to avoid spilling inside her. “I’m not giving it to you until you say it.”
“Log—”
“Admit it!” I thrust hard, and she screams my name, her pussy beginning to pulse. “You’re so close, tell me and you can have it. Stop fucking lying, Mads. I know you.”
Her breath comes in short, sharp bursts as she screws her eyes up and then opens them again, her pupils dilating.
“I know you.” I hold her eyes as she shudders beneath me.
“I know you do, and that’s terrifying,” she cries, her pussy gripping onto me like my cock’s its lifeline.
My pace falters. “Baby.”
She shakes her head. “Stop talking.”
“You have no idea what I’d do for you. You’re safe with me.”
Her eyes shine and her fingers dig into my biceps, encouraging me to thrust hard again. I slide into her, spreading her wetness between us.
“Now fucking admit it,” I growl a touch gentler as she moans.
“You know I do.” She searches my eyes. “I do want you. I want you. All of you. Forever. I want us.”
“Good girl.” My voice cracks, my head feeling like it might explode as heat bursts from my balls and fire races up my dick, making my vision blur as I spill inside her.
“Good.” Thrust. “Fucking.” Thrust. “Girl.”
My breath stalls in my throat in a pained growl as Maddy’s eyelids flutter and she arches away from the bed, her body spasming around mine. I could live forever and never tire of seeing her do this. Seeing her come undone with pleasure, all set off by the feel of me inside her, the knowledge that I’m coming deep inside her. Nothing has ever been so fucking hot.
“Fuck, that feel good?” I watch her, my dick getting milked by her body. “That feel good, baby?” More cum races out of me, making the tip of my cock sear with heat as her eager body sucks it up.
“Y-yes.” Her grip tightens on my arms as her orgasm rolls into another. “Logan.”
“That’s it. Say my name when you’re coming on my cock.”
She wriggles and squirms as I pin her to the bed.
“You’re so good taking my cum like this. You know that?” I keep moving inside her, every muscle on high alert in my body as she comes around me, draining me of all that I have. “You’ve always taken it so well, ever since the first time I filled you up.” The memory makes my balls send another load shooting up and out inside her as I groan in relief. I needed her so badly tonight. I needed this. To have her around me, under me. Any way I can. To have her with me.
“I want it,” she whimpers. “I want you inside me all the time.”
“Fuck, I’ll be everywhere for you. I’ll fill every sweet spot in your body you need me to, okay?” I reposition her legs around my waist so I can lean to kiss her as she rides the rest of her pulses out around me. I flex my cock, circling my hips and smiling against her lips as she gasps and then nods, unable to speak.
“I’ll fill them every day. All fucking day. Mads. You know why? Because I—”
She pulls my face to hers, kissing away my words and I sink into her, soaking up every little whimper and sigh she makes as our bodies slow, until we’re holding each other tight, neither wanting to let go. We kiss until our hearts slow in our chests, and I can no longer feel hers pounding against me.
“The rain tastes good on you.” She runs her fingers through my wet hair as I gaze at her.
“You taste good on me.” I hold myself up on my elbows and run the backs of my knuckles down one of her cheeks.
“Why did you come here tonight? Was it just seeing me with Nate?”
“I want to be with you.” I let my knuckles drift lower, along her jaw, following their path with my eyes.
“Did something change? Did you get somewhere with Spencer?” Something that looks like hope blooms in her eyes, and my soul feels like it’s being ripped from my body.
“No, I didn’t.” I exhale slowly, tension rippling through my shoulders. “In fact, it’s fucking worse. Some investors called me earlier. They’re pulling out of Vex.”
“What?” The dread in her voice makes nausea rise in my throat.
“They’ve heard rumors. It was only a matter of time. I expected it after what happened at the house.”
I drop my lips to her neck, inhaling her scent as I kiss her silky skin. It’s the only thing that can calm my racing heart as I consider the implications of losing the funding.
“It means I’ve got no fucking chance of talking Spencer into helping now.” I breathe in her scent more, kissing her again. “Unless I can get some more funding. Then maybe I can persuade him to add the rest himself. But it’s a long shot. He’s not going to be easy to convince. Not if he isn’t getting everything he wants.”
“Gabrielle?” Maddy whispers.
“Grandkids,” I admit. I squeeze my eyes closed and press my face against her neck, shielding myself from the look on her face as she fails to hide her sharp inhale of air.
“That’s what this is about? You’re going to have a family with her?”
I draw back, steeling myself for the look in her eyes. But nothing can prepare me for the pain in them. It’s like a dagger being twisted right through my heart.
“Of course not. There’s never been a second I’ve even considered it. Stop thinking about it.” I lean down to kiss her, but she turns her head to the side.
“Mads?”
“Don’t.” Her lips twist into a tight line.
I’m still inside her and she can’t stand to look at me.
“Don’t do this. Not again. You said you want this.” Despair creeps into my voice as she slips further away. The wall behind her eyes is going back up and I can’t do a fucking thing to stop it. “You said you want us.”
“Not like this,” she cries. “Not like this.”
She pushes my chest. As much as I want to fight against it, keep her beneath me so she talks to me, I can’t. But sliding free of her body and watching as she scrambles away and runs to her drawers to grab a T-shirt is like watching a horrific scene play out in front of me. One I should have known was coming, should have prevented.
One that was always going to be inevitable, no matter how much I wish it weren’t.
“What does it matter?” I struggle not to shout as I turn to face her, naked. I get up from the bed and stride toward her. “I’m never going to marry her. I told you that. I don’t love her.”
“You’ll lose everything.” Her eyes shine as they fill with tears.
She retreats as I step closer.
“You’re killing me, Mads,” I whisper, staring at her as a tear breaks free and rolls down her cheek. “I want to be with you.”
“We can’t.”
I can barely hear her because her voice is so quiet.
“We can.”
“We were never meant to be.”
“Stop.”
“No.”
A second tear joins her first as she drops her chin to her chest. Her dark curls flow around her shoulders, one falling over her cheek. I reach forward to brush it away, and she flinches. The tiny movement makes my heart crack down the center.
“How can you say that? You and I make more sense than anything. Nothing feels this good if it isn’t right. And if you’re worried about Drew, don’t be. He wants you to be happy. He’ll accept it because I’ll treat you like a fucking Goddess, Mads.”
She makes a small, muffled sound and it’s like nails are clawing at my chest, tearing their way to my heart as she gives in and cries with shaking shoulders.
“That’s not what worries me. It’s… We were never meant to happen, Logan. You know that.”
“That’s your head talking, Mads. And it’s wrong. You’re hearing it. But are you listening? To what’s in here?” I place my palm over her chest.
“It’s not real,” she utters. But she doesn’t move away from my touch.
“It’s never been more fucking real.” How can she not see?
“With me, you’d have nothing. The business, the—”
“I don’t care.”
“You should. You’re Logan Rich.”
“And you know what? Since getting back from Italy, I’ve never felt so fucking poor. All these days and nights without you, fighting so hard to keep one thing, while knowing I’m losing another.”
“With me, you’d lose it all. You’d be financially ruined.”
“You think money matters to me more than you?”
She steps back again and my hand slides from her chest. “This is your family. It’s not just you to think about. They’ll lose everything too. Can you live with yourself knowing that? You’ll resent me one day. Because without me, you could have saved it all.”
I force down the burning lump in my windpipe. She’s wrong. I could never resent her. But she’s also right. My family will lose everything if I can’t find another way. But that doesn’t mean what she’s doing is right.
“Don’t do this.”
“Tell Gabrielle you’ll marry her,” she whispers.
“What? No.”
She puts her fingers over my lips and presses a kiss to the back of them while they’re between us like a barrier. Her watery eyes are glistening with a million broken-hearted, unspoken words.
“Please, Logan. I want you to be okay. I want you to live your dream. For Vex to work. I…” Her voice cracks. “Tell Gabrielle. You like her. You’ll love her one day too. And you’ll love the beautiful children you’ll both have. I don’t deserve you, Logan.”
I grab her wrist and pull her hand away to plead with her to stop. To tell her she’s fucking crazy. But the finality in her eyes makes my stomach clench.
“Tell her. Please, Logan.”
“I can’t,” I choke. “I’ll do anything for you. But not this. Don’t ask me to do this.”
She looks into my eyes as I flail around for reasons to convince her to stop. For anything I can say that will talk sense into her.
“Marrying Gabrielle won’t even work now. Not without the funding. If Vex is ruined, then Spencer’s offer is gone. He can’t fund it himself. The cost is huge.”
“How much do you need?”
“What?”
“You said you can make Vex happen if you get some of the funds back, and that Spencer might be able to add the rest. How much have you lost? What do you need to make it work?”
“It’s irrelevant, Mads. It’s—”
“How much, Logan?”
I drag a hand around the back of my neck. “Twenty… Fifteen. I could do it with another fifteen million.”
She nods gravely, then looks away. “You should go home.”
“No. We need to talk about this. We need to—”
“Please, Logan,” she whispers. “Don’t make this any harder than it already is.”
I freeze, staring at her as she refuses to meet my eyes. How did we go from grabbing at each other and pulling each other as deep into one another to this? How does anything so good and so right fall apart in a matter of minutes?
“Mads?”
“Please.” She slaps her hand over her mouth and shakes her head hard, still not looking at me.
I search her face one last time, looking for a softening, a small sign that tells me I can convince her otherwise. But there’s nothing. I won’t get anywhere tonight. I know Maddy. I’ll leave her to calm down. Come back tomorrow and talk to her then.
Although the sinking in my gut tells me that nothing will ever have settled. I could have lost more investors by the morning. Things could be worse than they are now. But no matter how bad they get nothing can compare to the gut-wrenching pain of seeing Maddy like this. Hearing her tell me to go and have a life with someone else. Have a family with someone else. Someone who isn’t her.
Nothing.
I trail my eyes over her tear-stained face one last time, but she won’t meet my eyes. I go into the hallway, dragging on my cold, wet clothes. She doesn’t come out after me.
I walk back into the bedroom and she’s standing in the exact same spot. I go to her, closing my eyes as I wrap a hand around the back of her neck and press a kiss to her forehead.
“You think I’m going to be poor with no business? No money? You’ve got it all wrong.”
She sucks in a breath as my lips leave her skin.
“You’re only truly rich if you have something that no amount of money could ever buy, Smiles… And I don’t have to tell you what my something is.”
Then I turn and walk out.
