woman I’m not in love with.”
And there’s someone else. Someone who she says she hates me. But if she feels anything for me, then I can’t give up.
I take a deep breath before raising my head.
Mum smiles, her eyes shining, while Dad wipes a hand over his forehead, a grave expression on his face. His skin is still gray. He looked like stress was making him ill before Italy. But now he looks ravaged by it.
“I know this is our family business, Dad.” I wait for him to meet my eyes, but he doesn’t, so I continue, “But this is my life. I’ll build the company back up from scratch, the way you did.”
Mum makes a hopeful sound and reaches to pat Dad’s hand on top of the breakfast bar in their kitchen.
“You know I can do it. I’ll work with Spencer like he wants. I can partner with him on Vex. I’ll talk to him. Make him see that Gabrielle and the business can still be secure without us marrying. She wants to continue her work as a doctor, it’s what she loves. And I’ll make sure she can.”
“That’s a lot of work, son.”
“It is. But you know I’m capable.”
Understanding shines back as he sees how serious I am. But his expression clouds over almost immediately, giving way to hopelessness once again.
“It’s everything. We owe billions. The company will fold before you’re even close to getting a return from Vex.” He sighs and rubs his eyes. “The only way it can be saved is if Spencer helps us.”
“And I’ll speak to him.”
“It won’t make a difference. He’s a stubborn bastard. The fact he’s even offering to help in the first place is incredibly generous of him. But he’s a businessman. He knows what he wants, and he’s stated his terms.”
“A loveless marriage for his daughter?” I snort, falling back in my chair.
“A secure partnership for her with a good man who will respect her and give him grandchildren as soon as possible,” Dad replies.
Mum rips her hand from his to wipe her eyes with a handkerchief. “This is our son’s future, Len. Not one of your business deals.”
She looks at me. “There’s someone else, isn’t there? I can see it in your eyes. Do you love her?”
“I—”
Dad grumbles. “Half of the marriages formed with love as the driving factor fail, Viv.”
“Over thirty years and we’re not doing so bad,” she snaps at him.
I meet her eyes, and she presses her lips together and gives me a tight nod. “This is your life, Logan. Whatever choice you make is yours alone. You’re the one who’ll have to live with it. Think about that.” She rises from the table, looking sadly at Dad before she leaves the room.
“She’s right.” Dad sighs. “We all must live with our choices. Even the ones we desperately wish we could change.”
I stand, swallowing the lump in my throat as I clasp his shoulder and squeeze. He places his hand over mine.
“Especially the ones we wish we could change.” He pats my hand. “The ones that hurt the people we love. The ones where we lose.”
I falter, considering sitting back down. But I know Dad. He’ll not want a shoulder to cry on as he thinks about the mistakes he’s made. About how his actions led to him being on the cusp of losing all he’s worked for. He’ll want to beat himself up in private.
“Go on, son. I’ll see you later.”
“Yeah.” I squeeze his shoulder one more time as he drops his hand from mine. “Okay.”
I go hard at it in my gym as if I can solve all my problems by making my muscles scream out. All it does is make me sweat and knock my tension down by half a notch. Seeing your father breaking is not a sight I’d wish upon anyone.
But I can’t agree to marry Gabrielle. I can’t.
I roar as I pound the bag with all my force, sweat pouring down my naked chest. Fuck, fuck, fuck! My internal cursing matches each hit until I’m gasping for air. I yank the gloves off and throw them on the floor, picking up my towel and dragging it down my face.
My phone dances along the bench next to me, vibrating with an incoming call. I snatch it up, answering breathlessly.
“Hi.”
“Is it a good time?” She sounds different. Not like herself. Like her fire’s been doused. “I don’t want to inter—”
“Mads? What’s wrong?”
She’s silent for a beat, and I sit on the bench, throwing my soaked towel over one shoulder as I wait for her to speak.
“I-I wanted to thank you. For pushing for me to be told the truth about Dad.”
I look at the floor.
“I’m sorry it took this long. I thought you’d known for years. If I’d known you didn’t, I’d have… Fuck, I don’t know,” I admit, unsure what else to say.
She sighs.
“I get why Drew didn’t want to tell you,” I add softly. “He didn’t want to wreck that relationship with your dad that you have. You only get one father.”
“I know, and I understand that.” Heaviness drags her voice down, and I wish she was here so I could see her face. Hold her. Do something. “I wish I’d been told, though. And I know you don’t lie,” she murmurs. “Which means you must have thought my reason for hating you was some weird jealousy thing because you’re unfairly good-looking and disgustingly rich.”
“I’d say unfairly great looking and soon to be broke, but—”
“Soon to be broke?”
She still doesn’t know the whole story. Drew might be as mad as hell at me, but he’s still the best friend I could ask for. Everything I’ve told him about Dad and the business has stayed with him. Sealed in a vault constructed from years of friendship. All Maddy knows is that Dad wants a company merger. It’s what I told her in Italy.
“It’s why I was meeting Gabrielle,” I confess.
“Your dad still wants you to marry for the future of the company?”
“He does,” I admit, nausea turning my stomach over. “But it’s worse than I thought before I left. He’s going to lose everything, Mads. The whole business could be at risk if we don’t bail ourselves out soon.”
“Oh my God, Logan…” The genuine concern in her voice brings warmth to my chest like a blanket.
“That’s why he wanted…” I swallow thickly. “Gabrielle’s dad, Spencer, said he’d help us. But it’s not happening. I’m going to find another way.”
Maddy’s silent for a few seconds and I’m aching to ask her what she’s thinking. But I know she’ll be processing. She’ll have her brows pulled together with that deep line between them. Despite the direness of our conversation, I smile at the thought.
“If you marry her, then the business is safe?”
“I’m not marrying her.”
“But if you did? That’s what your dad’s asking of you, right?”
“I’m not—”
“What did Gabrielle say when you met with her? And remember, you don’t lie,” she whispers.
I run a hand around my chin with a low groan. “She wants to make her dad happy.”
“She wants to marry you?” The soft intake of breath accompanying Maddy’s voice is like a beacon of light in the darkness I’m in. She hates the idea. And something about that does more to calm the swirling chaos on my head than the last forty minutes pounding a punch bag has.
She’s jealous. She doesn’t want to forget we ever happened.
“It’s irrelevant. I’m not marrying her. If there was even a second that I ever considered it, then you and I… I’d never have touched you, Mads. Can’t you see that? That wouldn’t be fair on anyone.”
“She wants to marry you,” she repeats, ignoring me.
“It’s not fucking happening,” I snap. “Never. So forget about it.” I lower my voice, cursing myself internally for losing my shit.
“Last night, Drew said you asked Eve to send me to Italy,” she whispers, breaking the silence. “Why?”
“Because you’re an incredible writer, and you deserved the opportunity.”
“And it wasn’t because you’d heard me tell Drew a million times how I wanted the chance at a full feature?” Her voice is quiet, and something tightens in my chest from hearing her doubt herself.
“You were the right choice. You’ve earned your chance all the years you’ve worked there. Don’t question your abilities. Eve was going to pick you anyway. I just nudged her to decide faster, that’s all.”
“Uh-huh,” she murmurs disbelievingly.
“Although I’m not sure you’ll have an article to write now.” I rotate my head, cracking my neck. “Vex might not happen. Not if we don’t have a company to run it.”
“It’s serious, isn’t it?”
I stare across the empty gym and for the first time ever I’m drowning in the emptiness of my giant house. I’ve never been bothered by living alone before, until now.
“Dad’s still holding on to the business by a thread. But I swear I’ve never seen him like this before. He’s… It’s frightening. He looks like he could cause himself a stress-induced heart attack any second and drop dead.”
“My god, Logan… What can I do to help?”
“Nothing, Mads. I’ll fix it. I told him I’ll find a way. Vex can bring in more than the rest of the business. It just needs to go ahead. I can’t lose it. It’s the only chance I’ve got.”
There is a way. I just need to find it.
“And it’s your dream,” Maddy adds.
“Yeah. But that’s not what matters right now.”
There’s a long silence as we listen to each other breathe, the comfort of knowing the other is there enough to keep the overwhelming urge to give up from winning.
“I’m so sorry, Logan,” Maddy whispers. “All these years, I’ve been so wrong, so—’
“It’s done. Don’t think about it again.”
I can’t bear to hear her apologize to me. I was still a shit to her, something I’m beginning to understand from her point of view. But it’s the lack of fire in her voice that ruins me the most. She’s always been ready to fight me. Maddy without fire is like the earth without air. Inconceivable.
She scoffs. “How can you say that? I’ve been so unfair to you. I’ve been so rude to you. Over and over.”
“Nah, you just kept me on my toes,” I say, desperate to lighten a suffocating conversation.
“Don’t try and make this any less tragic than it already is, Logan.”
“Tragic? This isn’t the opera, Smiles.”
Her breath catches. “Maybe it should be. I can play Butterfly, and you can be Pinkerton.”
“The guy who marries someone else?” My heart seizes in my chest as I use my free hand to rub my dripping hair with the towel. “I told you. I’m not—”
“Maybe you should. Gabrielle’s wonderful. She’s kind and smart. You look good together. And she’s never told you she hates you. Never blamed you and buried her head in the sand, too fucking stubborn to see what’s real. You’ll save the business for your father. For your family.”
“She’s not you.”
“Even better. You’ll be happier.”
I shake my head, tension creasing my brow. “That’s bullshit.”
“The universe never planned us, Logan. We were just—’
“Just what?” Anger swirls like a tornado inside me. I’ve heard her say we were a mistake so many times now. She’s wrong.
“Something short and sweet, but not forever.” Regret pours from her voice. “Everything comes to an end one day.”
I’m unable to form the words I so desperately want to tell her. Because no matter what I say or do, she’ll always push me away. Always deny what this is between us. I’m used to fighting for what I want. But I’ve always known I’d win. The dread balling in my gut and making sweat slide down my spine tells me this might be the first time I don’t.
“Just…” She sighs like she’s being crushed slowly, every last hint of breath being forced from her body. “… think about it. Think about your family. And what you deserve.”
“I don’t need to think about—”
“Promise me.”
She’s crying. The sound of it fucking rips my heart in two.
“Smiles,” I choke. Don’t cry, baby.
“Promise me,” she urges. “Really think about what you deserve, Logan. Because it’s more than what I can give you. It’s more than what I’ve ever given you.”
“Mads?”
“Bye, Logan.”
The line goes dead.
She’s gone.
