I wake up slowly and squint around me. It takes me a second to remember where I am; then I spot the Space Invaders poster on the wall, and last night comes flooding back.
Oh my God. Oh my God.
I fucked two of my neighbors. Simultaneously. And it was the best sex of my life.
What the Hell?
I try to sit up. Next to me, Jack mumbles something incomprehensible, pulling me closer. I smile. I’ve not had a lot of casual sex in my life. I wasn’t sure how much cuddling it involved. Luckily, at least according to Jack, it’s completely acceptable to violently snuggle your partners the morning after.
I tuck myself closer to him and look around the dark room. My heart sinks when I realise the other side of the bed is empty. “Did Cyrus get up early?” I murmur.
Jack makes another garbled sound into my shoulder.
“What was that?”
“Gym,” he repeats. “He’s probably at the gym.” He kisses my back. “Shh. ‘M sleeping.”
I relax. At least Cy didn’t just slink away in the middle of the night. That would be embarrassing. I twist to check the clock on Jack’s nightstand and swallow a sigh, sitting up. “I need to go.”
Jack groans, rolling onto his back to look up at me. I do not look my best in the morning, but his eyes are hot as they trace my bare body and makeup-less face. “Stay,” he rasps, reaching up to touch my hair.
“I have work.”
“You don’t start until eight,” he points out. “It’s ten-to.”
“I need to shower.”
“I have a shower. Right here.” He nods at his ensuite and yawns, sliding his hand up my thigh. “You feel okay? Not sore?”
“You mean, from your giant dong? You know human growth hormones are bad for you, right?”
He buries his face into my waist and groans, and I laugh. “Nope. I’m fine.” I pause. “But I really need to get changed. I’m not working here all day in a mini dress and heels.”
“Please?” His hands slide over my hips. “You look so nice in them.”
I bat him off. “You’re a lot flirtier when you’re tired.”
“Mm.” He touches my wrist. “Pretty,” he murmurs.
I look down. He’s got a finger hooked under my baby bracelet. It’s simple: just a fine gold chain with a bar-shaped charm. It has Bethany Ellis engraved on one side, and you are my sunshine on the other.
“Thanks. My mum gave it to me.”
I’ve been wearing the bracelet ever since I was big enough to keep it from sliding off my wrist. I never take it off; not to sleep, or shower, or go swimming. Never. It’s always with me. There were times, when I was a kid, where it was the only thing getting me through the day. A reminder that my mum still loved me, even if she couldn’t take care of me.
Jack’s sleepy eyes are soft as he looks over my face. “Did she die?” He asks quietly.
I lay back down next to him, and he pulls me closer. “No. She got pregnant when she was fifteen. She couldn’t look after me.” I rub my thumb over the gold charm. “My grandma, her mum, took me in for a few years, but when I turned four, she couldn’t handle me anymore. So she put me in care.”
His eyebrows furrow. “Why?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “No one ever told me. I assumed my grandma must have gotten sick, or something.”
“Have you spoken to them since?”
I shake my head. “I’ve been looking for my birth mum ever since I was old enough to use a computer. Not as often now, but I still search for her name every so often. I’ve never found any trace of either of them.” I twist my wrist, watching the bracelet flash gold. “I used to think my Nonna would come back for me. When she got better.” Saturday was visiting day at my old care home, and every single weekend I’d wait by the window for my grandma’s car to pull up in the drive outside. It never did. It was hard, but I don’t blame my mum or my grandma for giving me up. The cards were stacked against them. I believe they would have kept me, if they could. I have to believe that.
“And you never got adopted,” he says softly.
“Nope. Stayed in the system for fourteen years, until I got kicked out at eighteen.” I pause. “The funny thing is, if my Nonna had just given me away immediately, my chances of getting adopted would have been so much higher. She kept me long enough that I wasn’t a cute little baby anymore, then gave me back.”
Jack rolls over and kisses me softly. His warm, stubbled cheek brushes mine. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I know it doesn’t mean anything. But I am.”
“It means plenty.” I say honestly, kissing him back.
There’s a sudden lusty cry from the living room, and I pull away. “I need to go,” I whisper, giving him one last peck. “And you need to pack for Scotland.” I pat his chest, sliding out of bed. “Don’t leave it until tomorrow morning.”
He groans, flopping back onto his pillows, and I leave to get ready for the day.
I’ve heard the term ‘sex glow’ before, but I never really understood what it meant until now. After last night, I’m so happy and full of endorphins that I’m walking on air all day. I’m humming as I change Cami’s nappies. I’m dancing as I make her afternoon snack. I’m practically skipping across the apartment as I pick up her toys.
It’s a beautiful day, so after dinner, I take Cami out to the local park. Apparently my good mood is infectious, because she laughs and bounces the entire way, looking around at the flowers and groups of passersby with huge, excited eyes. No less than four women stop us to coo at her, and I chatter happily with them, soaking in the bright sunshine and warm spring air. Eventually, though, Cami gets tired, so we head back home, me beaming all the way.
We’ve just got into the flat when Cyrus’s bedroom door opens. He steps into the kitchen, stretching, then rubs the sleep from his eyes. He’s dressed in a pair of boxers and a wrinkled t-shirt.
My stomach buzzes at the sight of him. I’ve been waiting for him to re-emerge all day. What will happen now that we’ve slept together? Will his flirting get even worse? Will he kiss me like Jack did? Hug me?
I smile at him shyly as he stumbles towards the coffeemaker. “Hey.”
He jumps like he didn’t even notice me standing here, then nods. “Hey,” he says stiffly.
“Sleep well?” I ask.
He nods noncommittally.
I gesture at the cupboard. “Want a coffee?”
“Yeah, um.” He squints at the machine, then glances back at me. “You know what, never mind,” he mumbles, turning tail and heading back into his room without another word. I stare after him, my hopeful bubble bursting and withering.
Oh. Okay, then.
Cami wriggles in my arms. I look down at her. “Did I say something?” I whisper.
She blows a raspberry in my face.
A door creaks in the corridor, and Jack steps out of his bedroom, yawning. “Finally fuckin’ finished,” he mumbles, then spots Cami. “Um. Finally friggin’ finished,” he corrects himself.
I laugh, sitting on the sofa with Cami on my lap. Jack squeezes in next to me, and I stiffen, not sure what to do. He wraps an arm around my shoulders, tugging me against his chest, and I happily snuggle up to him.
“Thanks,” I mumble into his t-shirt.
He smiles. “For what?”
“Not being weird about last night.”
He sifts a hand through my hair. “I’ve been wanting to do that for ages, Beth. You don’t need to thank me.”
I smile and cuddle closer, my worries about Cyrus slowly dying away as I relax against him. Cami reaches up and curls a hand in his shirt as she drifts off, blowing a bubble between her lips. Jack practically glows with pride.
None of us move for a long time. I can’t remember the last time I felt this comfortable. With a tiny baby on my lap, and a man’s arm around me—it’s almost like having a family cuddle.
Of course, the baby is only borrowed, and the man is my neighbor, but I’ll take what I can get. I’m on the verge of falling asleep when my phone buzzes with a text from Benny.
B: I’m in the lobby. Brought wine. Let’s get MASHED
I check the clock. Shit, it’s already past seven. “I have to go. Benny and I are going clubbing.”
Jack pulls back. “Okay. Stay safe. I’ll probably be working late, so if you need a ride, or anything…”
“It’s fine. We’ll get a taxi.” I stand, popping Cami into her bouncer and brushing down my skirt. “Have a good trip to Scotland.”
He stands too, and I hesitate. Do I hug him? Kiss him? Turn and leave?
Jack smiles, nudging his knuckle under my chin and tipping my face up for a kiss. “I had fun last night,” he says against my lips.
“We should do it again sometime.”
His smile widens. He nudges our noses together. “I would love that.”
There’s a footstep in the hallway, and I look up to see Cyrus loitering in his bedroom doorframe, watching us. There’s an odd expression on his face.
“Bye, Cyrus,” I call. “Enjoy your convention.”
He nods awkwardly, hanging back.
I grit my teeth. Whatever. He was the one who asked me on a date. He was the one who initiated the sex. If he’s going to be weird about it now, that’s his problem, not mine. I blow Cami one last kiss, then head out of the flat. I have a wine-and-whine session waiting for me downstairs.
It’s time I told Benny everything.
