Maddie’s words echoed, spinning around and around in my head as I drove with no real destination in mind. “He didn’t always hit me. Sometimes, he would just yell.” As if berating her would somehow be okay with me.
A million different images flashed in my mind, each one worse than the last. Maddie bruised and broken, all because of me.
My phone rang in my cupholder, and I glanced down. Caden’s name flashed on the screen. I tapped ignore. A second later, it started up again.
I growled and hit the button on my steering wheel that allowed me to accept the call. “What?”
“Geez. I was just calling to see if you wanted to meet me at Dockside for a beer. Who pissed in your Cheerios?”
I bit back words I wanted to level at him, things Caden didn’t deserve. “Sorry. It’s been a day.”
Caden must’ve heard something in my voice because, a second later, he was somewhere quieter. “Need an ear?”
I stared out the windshield of my SUV, trying to take stock of where I was. Not far from town. “I’m not in the mood for a crowd.”
I was sure gossip had already made its way through town about my suspension, and I didn’t want people nosing around in my business. With the foul mood I was in, I’d likely take someone’s head off.
“Pick me up in front of Dockside,” Caden offered.
“I’ll be there in two.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
He disconnected before I could. I was damn lucky to have a friend like him. One that put up with my surly ass and didn’t take it personally. But we’d both been there—times when the rage and pain desperately needed an outlet. We knew we could always let that fly with each other.
A couple of minutes later, I caught sight of Caden at the curb. I pulled to the side of the street, and he hopped in, holding up two bottles of beer. “In case you needed this.”
I grunted as I pulled back onto Main Street. “I need something a hell of a lot stronger.”
But nothing was strong enough to erase what Maddie had told me today.
“Shit,” Caden said, setting the beers in the cupholders. “What the hell happened?”
I didn’t have the first idea of how to answer that. How to start? I wanted to tell him. Needed to let it out to another human being, but I couldn’t get my mouth to form the words.
“Nash, you’re freaking me out.”
I pulled over onto one of the overlooks just outside of town. It was blissfully empty. I threw my SUV in park and stared out at the lake below. “He would hit her when I called.”
My throat locked around the words as I spoke, each one painful to speak. But it was a pain I deserved.
Rage pulsed through the vehicle. I didn’t need to look at Caden to see that he was a second away from losing it.
“Do you know how many times I’ve called her over the past few years? Too many to count. And I’d get so annoyed when she wouldn’t pick up. Or when it took three or four calls to get her to call me back. And the whole time, he was beating her.”
My chest constricted in an agonized vise.
Caden was silent for a long while. “I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now. But you’ve gotta know this isn’t because of you. Not really. If it wasn’t your calls, it would’ve been something else. Monsters like that find excuses anywhere.”
“But it was my calls. It kills me. I don’t know how she can even stand to look at me.”
“Because she loves you. Always has. I saw it before I even realized what it was. And you’ve loved her, too. Don’t let this asshole destroy that.”
I gripped the wheel, squeezing hard. Caden was right. Adam had already taken so much from Maddie. He didn’t get to take this, too—our shot at happiness and the life we’d always wanted but never thought we’d have.
“I just can’t see how to get there,” I said. “I don’t know how to unknow.”
“You can’t. But you can take a single step. Back to her. Back to what you’ve built together.”
“I took off when she told me. What the hell is wrong with me?”
Caden grimaced. “You might be paying for that one.”
I’d pay any price. Because I wouldn’t lose Maddie. Especially not because I was an idiot.
My phone rang, and I glanced down. Grae’s name flashed on the screen. She was probably calling to read me the riot act. I tapped the button on the steering wheel. “Hey, G.”
“N-Nash.”
The tremble in my sister’s voice had me instantly on edge. “What’s wrong?”
She struggled to get her words out between hiccupped breaths, the aftermath of a serious crying jag. “I was running late. I called Maddie to tell her.”
Everything in me locked, muscles winding so tight I thought for sure one would snap.
“She was upset.”
Because of me. Because I’d left.
“I don’t know what happened. We were talking, and then she screamed. I think the phone fell. I couldn’t hear well, but it sounded like a struggle. And then there was nothing.”
I was already moving, shifting my SUV into drive and turning on my lights and siren.
“Did you hear another voice?” I demanded.
“N-no. I don’t think so. I’m almost to her house. Like five minutes out. I called 9-1-1. I’m so sorry, Nash. I don’t know who it was.”
I ran over a million things in my mind. I’d locked the front door. But Maddie had been in the backyard with Clyde. Anyone could’ve gotten to her.
My foot pressed down on the accelerator. “How long ago?”
“I don’t know. Maybe ten minutes? I was on the phone with dispatch for a while.”
Precious moments lost. “I have to go, G.”
“O-okay.”
“Gigi, pull over and have someone pick you up. You shouldn’t be driving,” Caden commanded.
I could practically hear the pissed-off in Grae’s voice. “I’m getting to my friend. I’m not an idiot, Caden. I can drive my car.”
“Not if you’re upset. And you don’t know what’s at the cabin. You—”
“Enough!” I barked. “Grae, wait on the main road until we give you the all-clear. And drive safely.”
I hit disconnect before either she or Caden could get into it again.
“There’s an explanation,” Caden said evenly. “She could’ve seen a spider and dropped her phone. Maybe it broke, and she couldn’t call Grae back.”
God, I wanted that to be the case. Because if it wasn’t, I’d never be able to live with myself.
I turned onto the gravel lane that led to the cabin, my tires spitting rocks. Three police department vehicles were parked outside, lights still flashing. I cut the engine and jumped out.
Lawson appeared on the porch, quickly striding toward me.
“Where’s Maddie? Is she okay?”
Grief flashed across Lawson’s expression quicker than he could hide it. “I’m sorry, Nash. We don’t know where she is. Maddie’s gone.”
