Two Years Later
Your catchphrase of the day is ‘Slow and steady wins the race.’”
I smiled at Briana. “Really? You think I’m going to need one? Today?”
I had Ava on my hip. She was in a little yellow tulle dress with a matching yellow bow around her head. She was trying to put my boutonniere in her mouth, so I switched sides.
Briana gave me a look. “I think you especially need one today. There are like twenty people out there.” She nodded to the backyard.
“My immediate family, your immediate family. Jessica, Gibson, Zander and his husband, Alexis and Daniel. I think I can handle that.”
She shrugged. “If you say so. But feel free to use it if you need to.” She reached back behind her wedding dress and fanned the train.
The wedding was up at our cabin. We’d finished the remodel last year and decided to do the ceremony and reception in the yard in front of the lake. We hired a wedding planner, and there was an elegant tent set up for the reception. Besides that, not much about this wedding was traditional.
We were standing inside by the back door while everyone finished taking their seats outside, because I was walking Briana down the aisle myself. She didn’t like the idea of someone bringing her to me like she was “property changing hands”—her exact words. She wanted us to walk as equals. And it was less anxiety for me than standing there in front of everyone waiting for her to come to me.
There wouldn’t be a sweetheart or head table for everyone to stare at all night. We’d be sitting with our best friends and their spouses at a table mixed in with everybody else. No first dance—we’d dance when everyone else did. Nothing that put too much focus directly on us—me—other than the ceremony itself. We just wanted to celebrate with our friends and family, and Briana knew what I needed to be comfortable—which is why I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to need her get-out-of-jail-free phrase. It was also one of the many reasons I loved her so much.
I smiled at her, standing there in her white dress, holding her flowers. “Are you sure you want to marry me?” I asked. “I don’t have any organs left to donate.”
“I thought about that and I almost bailed. But then you went and changed your last name to Ortiz and made it weird. It’d be kind of a dick move if I didn’t marry you now.” She twisted her lips.
I laughed. I’d done a lot of things over the last two years to make sure she knew this relationship was nothing like her last one.
I still had the same PIN on my phone—hers. And we went to couple’s counseling once a month, just to make sure we maintained our communication skills, and I never lost sight of what she needed in this relationship to feel safe. She’d gone to counseling without me too, to work through some of the lingering feelings about her last marriage and her childhood.
It was good that we had that foundation, because she’d had a short bout of postpartum depression after Ava was born. We got her through it. Then I started having panic attacks at work when Briana’s maternity leave was up and Rosa had to go back to Arizona to be with her husband. Leaving Ava with a stranger when she was still so small made me feel anxious.
Briana liked going to work and didn’t want to give up the security of having a salary. So we talked it over and decided I would quit my job at Royaume to stay home with Ava until she started school. So I was a stay-at-home dad. I loved it. My mental health had never been better.
They started playing the wedding song we wanted to walk down the aisle to. “Falling Up” by Will Heggadon. It was time to go.
The wedding planner came out of nowhere, talking into a headpiece. “Ready?”
Briana looked at me, holding her bouquet.
I smiled. “Ready.”
Briana hooked her arm in mine and I adjusted Ava on my hip. The coordinator opened the front door of the cabin and Briana and I came out onto the porch. Everyone stood.
I didn’t like this part, where everyone was going to stare at us. But I very much liked the marrying-the-love-of-my-life part, so it was worth it.
We walked the aisle, smiling at our handful of guests. Daniel sat holding his daughter, Victoria Montgomery Grant, next to Zander’s husband.
Alexis and Zander, our matron of honor and best man, waited for us under the trellis with Lieutenant Dan, who hopped on one foot at the sight of us coming.
Rosa and Gil were beaming as we passed. Gibson and his wife were in the same row. Gibson still hadn’t retired.
Jill and Walter were with Jewel and Gwen, who sat with the twins between them. I raised my pant leg discreetly to show them the squirrel socks I had on. They were eight now, but they still loved it.
Ben sat with my sister Jane. They’d moved in together last year. They rented my old house from us after Briana and I got our own place. Our new place had lots of room for the baby and an extra guest room for when Rosa visited. We had two deep freezers completely full of Salvadorian food.
Benny’s kidney transplant held, and he was doing great. He was running marathons, was back to work, and had become as much a part of my family as Briana. There were rumblings that he and Jane were next. Briana said she was going to personally hand my sister the bouquet.
We passed Grandpa, and Briana snorted quietly. He was openly smoking. Mom shrugged like she’d given up. Dad winked at me.
When we got to Amy and Jeremiah seated on the corner of the first row, I stopped and handed Ava to her aunt. My little brother was holding my niece, who was only a few months older than my own daughter. They’d be good friends one day, just like Briana and Amy were.
Briana handed her bouquet to Alexis and took my hands.
We’d written our own vows.
I looked in my beautiful wife-to-be’s eyes and couldn’t believe how lucky I was. She took my breath away, every day, just like the first time I saw her.
The officiant said a few words about marriage, and loving and supporting each other. He read a poem about two very different people being the perfect match because they filled the parts the other one was missing. And then it was time for the vows.
I’d thought long and hard about what I wanted to say. And what I’d come up with felt exactly right.
I looked her in the eye. “Briana, I agree to be harmless to you.”
She smiled, because she knew that was all of it. It was the only promise she needed to hear.
It was her turn. She gave me a wry grin. “Jacob, I agree to be harmless to you.”
The smile ripped across my face, followed by the sting of tears. And then I really couldn’t feel everyone’s eyes on me at all. It was just the two of us, alone together, showing up. Because that’s what love does. It shows up. And I’d never stop doing it.
I kissed my bride.
