“Guard my donuts for me while I’m out on this call, Little Williams?” Nash asked, lowering a bakery box in front of me.
Abel snorted from the cubicle next to us. “They’ll be gone before you’re even out the door.”
“Hey,” I said, tossing a paper clip.
He leaned back in his chair. “You know she’s got a thing for sweets.”
“Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. It’s a good life motto.”
Nash tightened his grip on his donuts, raising the box away from my desk. “Will you watch my donuts, Abel?”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re just like—” My words cut off. Holt. He was just like Holt with his obsession with food—pie, in particular. But food of all kinds was worthy of devotion.
Nash shifted uncomfortably and then opened the box. “You can have one. Just not the Boston cream.”
How pathetic must I have looked for Nash to offer me one of his precious confections? I forced a grin as I nabbed the strawberry one. “Works every time.”
Nash gaped at me. “You faked emotional distress to steal my donuts?”
The laugh that came was real, and it felt good. The sound hadn’t passed my lips since before I’d met Grae for lunch yesterday. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you it’s a cliché for cops to eat donuts?”
Lawson swooped in and stole a glazed one. “I’ll take that cliché every single time.”
Nash snapped the lid of the bakery box closed. “My donuts. Mine.”
“Did someone say donuts?” Jude asked as he strode up, pack slung over one shoulder.
Nash let out a pathetic moan. “Next time, I’m getting two dozen.”
I pressed my lips together to stifle my laughter. “Might want to go for three.”
Jude leaned on the half partition to my cubicle, scanning my face. “You hanging in there?”
I fought the curse that wanted to surface. It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate Jude and Chris looking out for me. I did. But asking that in front of two of Holt’s brothers? Not freaking cool. The last thing I wanted was one of them telling Holt that his presence hurt me. Holt didn’t get to know that he affected me at all.
I took a large bite of the donut, speaking around the fluffy dough. “Perfect now that I’ve got this strawberry goodness.”
Nash grinned. “Donuts make everything right with the world.”
Lawson didn’t buy my act quite so easily. His eyes narrowed a fraction as he studied me. I’d tried to cover the dark circles the best I could, but I was no makeup artist. And I couldn’t do anything about the red streaks in the whites of my eyes.
So, I opted to shift my chair, turning back to my screen and willing my phone to ring. That was an awful thing to hope for. That someone was in enough distress to call nine-one-one. But that was where I was at.
Lawson cleared his throat, shifting his focus to Abel. “The team’s meeting at the trailhead. We should have enough officers left to cover incoming calls, but will you call in reinforcements if things look thin?”
Lawson and Nash served on the volunteer search and rescue team for the county with a couple of other officers. Having a law enforcement presence on the team was helpful but could leave us short-staffed.
“Will do,” Abel said.
“Let’s head out,” Lawson ordered.
Nash held his donuts out to Abel. “Guard them with your life. I’m trusting you.”
Abel snatched the box, shoving it onto his desk. “Get out of here before I toss your damn donuts in the trash.”
Nash glared at him but reluctantly followed his brother toward the parking lot.
Jude lingered, his broad frame leaning over the cubicle partition. “Sorry, Wren. I didn’t mean to put you in an awkward spot—”
“It’s okay. I just don’t want Nash and Law going back to Holt with any stories. He’ll be gone before we know it, and I’ll be fine.”
Jude’s eyes shifted to the street.
Unease trickled through me. “What?”
“Nothing. It just sounded to me like Holt might be sticking around for a bit.”
The sweet pastry in my stomach suddenly made me feel a little ill. “He might be saying that, but I doubt he’ll follow through.”
Jude leveled me with one of his patented stares. One that screamed: Don’t bullshit me. I fought the urge to squirm in my chair. “What? It’s not like he’s ever stuck around before.”
“Wren. This could be good for you both. A chance to clear the air. Then, maybe both of you can move on.”
His words were like an ice pick to the chest, each one a carefully placed blow. He didn’t mean to inflict the pain, but he had.
“I have moved on. Holt didn’t give me any other choice. And he sure as hell didn’t give me a chance to clear the air when he bolted with nothing but a half-assed letter. So, excuse me if I’m not eager to rehash how he crushed my damn heart when I needed him the most.”
I spun to face my computer screen.
“Wren—”
“I’m working, and you have some lost hikers to find.”
Jude was quiet for a moment. “Okay.”
I heard his footsteps retreat, each one shoving the guilt swirling inside me a little deeper. Jude didn’t deserve my anger. He, Chris, and the Hartleys had stayed. Were there for me through it all. Gran, too.
An ache spread in my chest as her face flashed in my mind. How she’d forced me out of bed for long walks each day when all I’d wanted was to let the covers swallow me whole. She’d never wavered, and I’d eventually started to get better. But it hadn’t changed the fact that I was walking around like some hollow half person. Because the life I’d thought would be mine, the one I wanted more than anything, had been ripped out from under me.
“Bit that boy’s head off,” Abel said, staring at his computer monitor.
“I know.”
“You’re gonna have to face him at some point. And Jude’s right about one thing. It’s time for you to move on.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from snapping at Abel. “I have moved on. I have friends. A job I love. The perfect house.”
“What about someone to share your life with?”
“I date. I just haven’t found the right person yet.” My entire body revolted at the idea. I’d told myself time and time again that it was because I’d spent so many years planning that life with Holt. But that when the right person came along, I wouldn’t feel that way.
Abel turned to face me, arching a brow. “You pick apart every man who’s ever taken you out. The ones who might be a match? You won’t even look their way.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m old but I’m not dead. I notice how Clint includes you in every poker night and after-work beers.”
I stiffened. “Clint would get frustrated with me the moment he realized I would never give up this job.”
“What about Chris? Anyone can see how he looks at you.”
I swung around in my chair. “Chris is a friend. Just like Law, Jude, and Nash. It is possible to have male friends, Abel. You’ve never made a pass at me.”
He chortled. “If I was a few years younger, I’d be sweeping you off your feet.”
Warmth spread through me, easing a bit of the anxiety of the conversation. “The curse of my birth time.”
The amusement fell from Abel’s expression in the quiet that followed. “You should talk to him—”
The phone rang, and I rushed to answer. I would’ve picked up a live wire if it got me out of the conversation with Abel. “Cedar Ridge police, fire, and medical. What’s your emergency?”
“W-Wren?”
The tremble in the teen girl’s voice had me snapping upright, my gaze flashing to the screen to check the readout. “What’s wrong, Jane?”
“Someone’s here. They’re trying to get into the house.”
Ice slid through my veins as my heart rate picked up. I focused on my breathing. In for two. Out for two.
“You’re at home?”
“Yes.”
“Is anyone else there?”
“No. Mom’s at work, and Dad’s on duty. We have a teacher in-service day today.”
Dale Clemmons was a firefighter, and he would’ve lost his mind if he’d heard his baby girl’s voice sounding this terrified.
“I hear it again,” Jane whispered. “It’s like they’re scratching at the door.”
That had my brow furrowing, and I brought up a map. The Clemmons family’s home wasn’t too far from Marion Simpson’s place. “Hold on, Jane. Let me get some officers dispatched.”
I switched over to the radio. “Reported 10-62 at 27 Mountain View Way. Sixteen-year-old girl is home alone. Jane Clemmons.”
Amber responded in less than a second. “Anderson and Raymond en route. Keep her on the line and keep us updated.”
“Will do. Be advised of a bear in the vicinity that Marion Simpson was feeding. That could be the culprit.”
“Understood.”
I switched back over to my phone line. “Officers are on their way, Jane. We’ve had reports of a bear in the area, so it could be as simple as that.”
Roan had taken the guy deeper into the forest while he was tranqued, but once bears knew there was food someplace, they would always come back.
Jane let out a half breath, half laugh. “My friends are going to give me so much shit if I called nine-one-one on a bear.”
I grinned. “At least you’ll have a story to tell.”
The sound of glass shattering had any hint of amusement slipping from my face. “Tell me what’s happening, Jane.”
“I-I don’t think it’s a bear.”
“Tell me where you are and what you can see and hear.”
Her breaths came out in soft pants across the line. “I’m in the den. I think he broke the glass next to the door. Oh, God, Wren. He’s trying to get in.”
“Hide, Jane. Find a closet or trunk. Anywhere they won’t think to look.”
My pulse thrummed in my neck as memories flashed in my mind. I shoved them down, focusing on the here and now. I could hear Jane moving as I switched over to the radio. “Window next to the door has been broken. She thinks they’re trying to get in that way.”
The sirens were already on when Amber came across the line. “Less than a minute out.”
But I knew anything could happen in a minute. It could destroy someone’s whole world.
I moved back to the phone line. “Where are you hiding?”
“In the back of the coat closet. There’s a panel in the back wall that leads to our crawl space.”
“Smart, Jane.”
I quickly typed her location into our computer system, knowing Amber or Clint would see it.
“Oh, God.”
Fear spiked through my system. “What is it?”
“He’s in the house,” Jane whispered.
“Did you see who it was? Is it someone you know?”
“I only saw them from the back. I think it’s a guy. He was wearing a hoodie. It sounds like he’s searching for something.”
Everything around me slowed, the world tunneling for a moment. I bit the inside of my cheek, hard. The pain was what I needed to stay in the here and now and not let the similarities pull me under to a decade ago.
“Hold on, Jane. I’m going to mute myself, but I’ll still be on the line. Stay quiet and keep breathing.”
I clicked on the radio. “The intruder’s in the house. Male suspect, wearing a hoodie.”
Amber bit out a curse as the sirens blared. “We’re here. We’ll get him.”
Empathy swept through me at Amber having to be the one to answer the call. She was just as tortured by these memories as I was.
I listened to Jane’s staccato breaths with one ear while I kept the other trained on the radio. The officers maintained an open line as they moved through the house, clearing rooms.
“Shit, he’s running out the back. I’m in pursuit,” Clint clipped.
Footsteps sounded.
“I’ll get to Jane,” Amber said.
I struggled to keep my voice even as I unmuted myself on the phone. “Jane, he ran out the back. Amber is coming to the closet now.”
A knock sounded.
“Y-you’re sure it’s her?”
“Jane, it’s Amber. I’m going to open the closet door. Think you can climb out of the crawl space?”
Tears filled the line. “I-I can get out.”
Shuffling filled the line, and then the sound of tears as Amber let out an oof. “It’s okay, Jane. I’ve got you.”
The girl only cried harder.
Abel motioned to me. “Tell Jane her dad’s on his way.”
“Did you hear that? Your dad’s on his way.”
I could barely make out the “thank you” as she continued to sob. “I’ve got her now. You can disconnect, Wren.”
My finger hovered over the button to end the call as if I couldn’t be sure that Jane would really be all right.
Abel leaned over and hit it for me, startling me out of my frozen state. Concern filled his eyes. “You okay?”
I nodded as I jerked to my feet, tearing off my headset. “Gonna take my ten.”
“Wren—”
But I was already moving. Everything blurred around me as I wove through the desks, desperate for a hit of mountain air and to not feel as if the walls were closing in around me.
My lungs burned as visions of faces twisted with hatred whirled in my mind. The sound of taunting and destruction filled my ears—the feeling of white-hot pain in my chest.
I tore through the front doors and onto the sidewalk, colliding with a tall, broad form. Arms came around to steady me. It wasn’t the body I recognized or even the hands. Those were so different from all those years ago.
It was the scent—pine with a hint of spice and a little something else that I’d never been able to identify but had always meant Holt to me. One that always felt like home.
