“It all happened so fast. I don’t think I saw anything.” My head pounded as I tried to search through my memories. “I heard gravel crunch and started to turn, but whoever it was, hit me before I saw anything.”
Holt’s hand tightened reflexively around mine.
Lawson gave me a gentle smile. “That’s okay. What about after they hit you? Did you hear or see anything?”
“Just a boot. They tried to kick me in the head, but I rolled, and they got my shoulder instead.” I glanced at the man beside me. “Holt gave me one of those personal alarm things. I managed to get it from my pocket and pulled the pin. It scared them enough that I heard them running away.”
“Probably pierced his eardrum, too,” Clint said with a small grin.
Holt scowled at him.
Lawson cleared his throat. “Did you get any sense of the person’s size?”
I shook my head and instantly regretted the action; the throbbing in my skull only intensified. “I don’t think so. They hit me before I could see them, and then I was on the ground.”
Holt’s hand tightened again, and I traced circles on the back of it, trying to soothe the demons that had clearly taken hold.
Lawson typed a few things into his phone. “We’ll have an officer pull any security camera footage we can get from the local stores tomorrow.”
“I want to see it,” Holt said.
Lawson’s mouth pressed into a hard line. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Holt narrowed his eyes as if to say, you’d better. “Are you done? I want to get Wren home.”
Worry etched itself across Lawson’s face. “Sure. We can talk tomorrow, Wren. I’ll have patrols going by the cabin.”
Holt nodded. “Thanks.”
But there was nothing in Holt’s voice. No emotion. It sounded dead. I’d heard that tone before. When I was in the hospital and in a rehab clinic. It was the sound of Holt turning off. Of blaming himself.
He turned to me. “Will you be okay to walk?”
I blinked up at him as the blood pounded in my ears. “Of course.” I slid off the massage table, ignoring the twinge in my shoulder and along my ribs. Things were going to be black and blue for a while.
“Call if you need anything,” Lawson said.
“Thank you,” I replied softly.
He reached out and gave my hand a quick squeeze. There was so much in that simple gesture. Lawson was telling me to hang on. To stick with Holt.
But it wasn’t me who had a hard time sticking.
Holt led me through the station, and I kept my gaze focused on his back. I didn’t want to see the sympathetic looks. The worry. The anger. I wanted to do what Holt had done and turn it all off.
But I wouldn’t let myself. I’d made it through hell before. I could do it again. I wouldn’t lose all the joys in life just to numb the pain.
Holt held open the passenger door to his SUV and gently helped me inside. He bent, reaching across to buckle me in.
My breath caught. He’d done this before, too. When it still hurt my chest too much to buckle myself.
Holt rounded the vehicle, no sign of any emotion on his face.
We were both quiet on the drive. Each second of silence ticked up my anxiety a little more. The panic and what-ifs swirled around me, weaving a web that grew tighter and tighter.
Holt pulled to a stop in front of the cabin. I unbuckled myself and was out of the SUV before he could come around to my side.
“I was going to help you.”
“I didn’t need your help.”
His brows pulled together. “Let’s get you inside and lying down.”
His hand pressed against the small of my back, the gentlest pressure urging me onward. I hated that care. Him treating me as if I could break at any moment.
I swallowed hard and started for the house. I moved quickly enough to escape the gentleness of his hand. Pulling my keys from my pocket, I searched for the one to my front door. My fingers stuttered over the personal alarm.
It was something I didn’t think I’d ever be without now. I shoved the key into the lock and opened the door.
Shadow was right there, licking my hand and letting out a low whine.
I gave her a good scratch. “Everything’s okay.”
Holt didn’t say anything. He simply stepped inside and locked the door behind him.
I made my way to the kitchen, searching for the Tylenol and filling a glass with water.
“How bad does it hurt?” Holt asked.
“Not great, not awful. I’m sure a good night’s sleep will help.” And I was sure it would, but the chances of me getting one were slim to none.
Holt stared at me as I swallowed the pills.
I set the glass down with a clang. “Stop it.”
He jolted. “Stop what?”
“Don’t do this to me.”
Holt blanched.
“This is exactly how you sounded after I was shot. You said all the right words, but your voice was dead. You were holding my hand but putting a million miles between us. Don’t do this.” My voice cracked on the words, my fear breaking free and spilling out into the open.
He moved in a flash. He was on the other side of the kitchen and then suddenly, he was right there, wrapping himself around me. “I’m not pulling away. I promise.”
His pine-and-spice scent swirled around me. “You are. You’re here but it’s not you.”
Holt nuzzled my neck, breathing me in. “I didn’t want to scare you.”
My hands pressed to his chest, giving him a hard shove. “This scares me. Nothing could terrify me more than watching you turn yourself off. Watching you fade away in front of my eyes.”
Holt’s hands fisted, his knuckles bleaching white. “You want to hear that when Law called, my heart stopped? That I want to find this person and end them. Not get them arrested and send them to jail, end them.”
“Yes, I want to hear it.”
His eyes glittered in the low light of the cabin. “You want to hear that I failed you? Again.”
I gave his chest another hard shove. “The only time you fail me is when you disappear! When are you going to get that through your thick skull?”
“When are you going to realize that you deserve so much better than me?”
The pain in Holt’s voice tore at me with tooth and nail. Tears gathered in my eyes. “How can’t you see what an amazing man you are? It doesn’t matter what I deserve or don’t because I want you. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. So let me make up my own mind. Don’t steal my choice from me.”
Holt moved into my space, wrapping me in his arms again. “I love you, Wren. I can’t lose you.”
“You have me. But you can’t keep worrying our life away. We have to live in the here and now.”
“I know. I’m trying. This just scared the hell out of me.”
Of course, it had. I leaned into Holt, ignoring the pain it caused. “I’m sorry.” I pressed my lips to his throat. “But I’m okay. It scared the hell out of me, too, but I fought. You know why?”
He stared down at me.
“Because I was fighting for you. For us. For all the time we wasted.”
Holt’s eyes blazed, and his hand slid along my jaw. “I don’t want to waste any more time.”
“No more hiding from me?”
He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. “I can’t hide from you, Cricket. You’re in me. In my marrow.”
His words buried themselves deep in my heart, and I opened my mouth to tell him. To give Holt those three little words, but his phone let out a series of beeps before I could.
He cursed and pulled the phone from his pocket. In a flash, his expression turned to granite. “Someone’s here.”
