I pushed back from my desk as Lucille lowered herself into the chair at the cubicle opposite me.
“How were things today?”
Her tone was even, but her eyes held worry. She’d seen some rough calls in her eight years on the job, but shootings were a whole other level.
“Pretty quiet. Possible heart attack this morning. Minor car accident this afternoon.”
While I was grateful there hadn’t been anything like yesterday, it had left me with far too much time to think. And remember. Holt’s hands on my body. His lips skimming my skin. The way everything had come apart around us.
“You holding up okay?”
Lucille’s voice had me snapping back to the present. “Yeah. I’m fine.” I forced a smile. “I’ll be less so when I have to switch to nights in two days, but that’s life.”
She chuckled. “Those first two days are the worst. Doesn’t matter which direction I’m making the switch.”
For me, the nights were always rougher. I needed the sunshine. The four p.m. to two a.m. and two a.m. to nine a.m. shifts were brutal. I had to mainline coffee and do the occasional round of jumping jacks in my cubicle.
“They really should give us extra pay on those switch days.”
Lucille snorted. “Run that by the chief.”
“I just might.”
Lucille let out a low whistle as I bent to grab my bag.
“I think you’ve got a visitor.”
I straightened, turning in the direction she had her gaze pointed. The hard swallow was reflex. There was Holt, eyes zeroed in on me with intensity. He wore a Henley that hinted at the muscles beneath—dips and valleys I’d had my hands on just hours ago. He had the sleeves pushed up, exposing tanned forearms. My gaze trailed to his fingers—long and talented fingers.
Lucille laughed. “Oh, girl. You are so screwed. I just hope it’s in a fun way.”
“You and me both,” I grumbled as I started toward the man in question.
As soon as I was within arm’s reach, Holt took the bag from my shoulder. He leaned in to give me a quick kiss. “Good day?”
The normalcy of it all grated, maybe because I’d wanted it for so long. Someone to share my life with. The ups and downs of my day. But it wasn’t just someone I’d wanted. It was Holt. And now that he was here, acting as if he’d never left, I battled between annoyance and blissful relief. But the emotion eating at me the most was fear.
“It was mellow.”
“That’s good, right?”
“I think we can all use mellow right about now.”
Holt held the door for me, and I stepped through. As soon as we were on the sidewalk, he took my hand in his. The feel of those calluses against my more delicate skin sent a pleasant shiver up my arm. My body was a damn traitor for Holt Hartley.
He opened the passenger door of his SUV, and I climbed in. Holt rounded the vehicle and got behind the wheel, tossing my bag onto the back seat.
I toyed with my fingernail as Holt pulled out of the parking space and started toward my cabin. This had always been him. He wasn’t afraid of a little silence. On the other hand, I felt as if I were crawling out of my skin.
“So, what did you do today?”
He glanced over at me and then back to the road. “Got a coffee and scone at The Brew. The scone was incredible.”
I couldn’t help the smile that came to my lips. “They have the best baked goods. Did you get the orange-cranberry?”
“Yup. Finished it before I even got home.”
My heart jolted at the word home, but I shoved it down. “Then what did you do?”
“Worked with Shadow in the morning. She’s got great instincts. I really think she’d be an asset to the SAR team.”
Pride bloomed. “She’s always been too smart for her own good.”
Holt chuckled, the sound swirling around me. “That just means we need to keep her busy. Give her a job. She kept me company while I installed your security system.”
My brows lifted. “You installed it?”
Holt shrugged as he turned off the main road and onto the dirt lane that would take us to the cabin. “I would’ve preferred to have Cain’s team do it, but they’re maxed out right now. It would’ve taken them at least another week to get up here. Didn’t want to wait around.”
“No laser beams that will blow me up, right?”
The corner of his mouth kicked up. “No laser beams. I promise.”
At least there was that. Holt pulled in next to my truck. “You need a garage.”
“Please tell me that your next project isn’t to single-handedly build me one.”
He grinned. “Not single-handedly. But I thought it might be a good project for me, Jude, and Chris to take on while the weather’s good.”
Chris had been harping on the fact that I needed a garage for years—pretty much since I bought the place. I was sure that he and Jude would jump at the chance to get that taken care of.
“I don’t mind not having one. It’s only a pain when it snows.”
Holt shook his head as he slid out of the SUV. “Safer for your truck and you to have one. We could put in a mudroom that connects the garage to the house.”
I rounded the vehicle and started toward the cabin. “I don’t know what you think dispatchers make, but it’s not enough for a project like that.” Maybe one day, but not anytime soon. The only way I’d gotten this place at all was because of the nest egg Gran had left me. A nest egg my father hadn’t been overly pleased about.
“I’ve got it.”
My steps faltered, and I slowly turned to face Holt. “You’ve got it?”
“I’ve got plenty of money, Wren. It’s just sitting there. Why not use it here?”
“Because it’s not your house. It’s mine. Gran gave me the money for a down payment, but I worked my butt off to get approved for the loan. And I work my butt off to pay the mortgage every month. That’s important to me. I have a place that I earned. That’s mine.”
Hurt flashed in Holt’s eyes but he covered it quickly. “Okay. No garage.”
The annoyance seeped right out of me as I took in the man opposite me. “I’m not trying to be a jerk, but after you left, I had to figure out how to stand on my own two feet. And I’m not sorry I did. It’s given me a sense of pride that I didn’t have before. When we were together, I leaned on you too much.”
“I liked you leaning.”
Because Holt liked being the problem solver, the one people relied on. It gave him a sense of purpose. That wasn’t a bad thing, but he took on things that weren’t his to carry.
“We need to find a better balance.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Dangerous words because they spoke of a future—one that was far from guaranteed. “A give and a take.”
Holt moved into my space. His hand brushed the hair out of my face and then skated down my neck until he massaged my shoulders. “If you think I didn’t lean on you, then you weren’t paying attention. Every time I needed an escape from the craziness of my family. When life hit hard, you were the only person I wanted, the only place I wanted to be. You, more than anything, were home.”
I let my head fall to his chest. “Okay. Just hold off on any major construction, would you? Whatever this is…it’s new. I can’t just go back.”
“I get it. Come on. Let’s get inside. I’m making you dinner tonight.”
Holt made my head spin. Making me dinner might not be breaking ground on a new garage, but it was a part of that life I wanted so badly I could taste it. And the more I let myself want it, the worse the fall would be if things didn’t work out. I’d barely survived the first time Holt had left. A second time would be too much to bear.
But I couldn’t bring myself to say those words aloud. Instead, I followed Holt inside.
Shadow let out a happy bark and ran toward us. I dropped to a crouch, shoving my face in her neck as I stroked her. This was what I needed. Normal. Constant. Grounding.
“I was going to make Pad See Ew. That good with you?”
I pushed to my feet and moved toward the kitchen. “You make Pad See Ew?”
Holt pulled two beers out of the fridge. “One of my clients was in Thailand for a month. I picked up a few things.”
And he’d remembered that it was one of my favorite dishes. Every time we’d ventured to Seattle or Portland, I begged to go to a restaurant that featured a cuisine we didn’t have in Cedar Ridge. Thai was my favorite. Indian. Lebanese. Ethiopian. Greek. It was the one thing I hated about living in a small town, we missed out on all that food.
“I bet you’ve been to a lot of cool places.”
Holt popped the cap on the bottle and slid it across the bar to me. “Some cool places and some I’d be happy to never see again.”
I slid onto the stool, surveying the man opposite me. “What was your favorite?”
He grinned. “Mykonos. We were doing a security detail for a billionaire and his family, but they never left the estate. We basically got a paid vacation for two weeks. And it was gorgeous.”
“Sounds like a pretty cushy job.”
A little of his smile dimmed. “Sometimes. What about you? Did you ever think about leaving Cedar Ridge?”
I shook my head. “You know I love it here. The people I love are here. My job.”
“When did you decide to apply for dispatch?”
I toyed with a napkin. “A couple of months before I graduated. I wanted to be that voice on the other end of the line for someone else. Wanted to be their hope.”
Emotion danced in Holt’s eyes. “It’s incredible that you’ve taken the worst moment of your life and used it to inspire you to do good.”
My gaze locked with his. “Did you do the same? Military, private security, it’s all helping people.”
A muscle in his cheek ticked. “There was a fair bit of running mixed in there, too.”
I studied the man across from me, trying to muster the courage to ask what I needed to. “Do you really think you’d be happy sticking around Cedar Ridge after being used to that life for so long? The travel? The excitement?”
He opened his beer and rounded the bar, leaning against the counter. “Going a lot of places just makes you realize the value of home more. I’m here, Wren. I’ll figure out a way to make that stick. Work remotely or sell the company. Whatever it takes.”
My breaths started coming faster, panic and hope warring inside me.
Holt’s gaze tracked over my face. “I want you to know I’m here for good.”
I pushed off the stool, needing to move. I wanted Holt here with everything I had, but I was terrified to let myself actually say the words out loud. To admit it to anyone.
“Wren…”
Something in his voice had my steps halting, but I didn’t turn around. “It destroyed me when you left. I’m terrified that if you leave again, I won’t recover a second time.”
“I’m so sorry. Those words aren’t enough but—” Holt’s words cut off as his gaze jerked to the window. The sun glinted off it as it sank low in the sky.
The color leached from Holt’s face, and it was as if the world around me slowed. “Down!”
But Holt was already moving, throwing himself at me. Glass shattered. Holt’s body collided with mine. And then we were falling.
