Savannah
Ecstasy coursed through my body like a wave breaking against the shore. It was fire in my veins and ice burning my skin. It was pain and pleasure and absolutely unrelenting.
I gasped and arched my back as Jaxson’s magic surged along my spine, and my eyes sprang wide.
The world was radiant.
Every color was new and more than my eyes could handle. I could feel the infinite blue of the sky and taste the golden sunlight beating down on my bare skin.
I was in his arms.
Where his flesh began and mine ended, I didn’t know. But I felt every one of his heartbeats thundering through the world around me.
“You’re alive,” Jaxson’s voice rumbled, and my blood surged.
I reached up and brought my fingers along the edge of his jaw, his beard prickling my fingertips. “More than ever.”
I slid my arms around his shoulders and pulled myself to his lips. We flowed together like the rolling waves, and when his fingers caressed my bare skin, it felt like a rising dawn. His taste, his kiss, and his passion were everything, and my body was blind to any sensation that wasn’t him.
I’d never been more alive.
But amid the bliss, a moment of clarity cut through my mind, followed by a flood of memories and fear. I sat up straight. “Where am I?”
“Safe. On the beach.”
The ocean stretched infinitely into the distance and rolled softly along the shallow shore. Clouds raced through the sky high above, though the wind along the coast was nearly still.
I was naked in Jaxson’s arms, but I didn’t care. We’d just shared something that went beyond bodies. Something deeper, something magical.
I pulled myself closer and kissed him again, then twisted so that I could see behind us.
The entrance to the Dreamlands beneath the strange tree was gone, replaced by only a collapsed, dead-end cave.
I bit my lips. “The sorcerer…”
“You killed him.”
Had I? It was hard to believe, and doubt gnawed at me. What about Dragan? The image of his ghostly face haunted me. I’d have to tell Jaxson what had happened, but exhaustion weighed me down. I turned my eyes to Jaxson’s. “And the sleepers?”
He brushed my hair. “We freed them. They’re all safe, thanks to you.”
My heartbeat slowly began to accelerate. Memories surfaced, and my breath caught. “But you weren’t going to save them—you were going to save me. Kahanov…he said you didn’t have a choice. That you’d let them die to protect me. Had to. What did he mean?”
Jaxson looked out over the ocean, and I felt his trepidation.
I grabbed a handful of his tattered shirt. “What did he mean, Jaxson? There’s something you’re not telling me.”
Anger burned in his eyes, and worry wrapped around my heart.
He tensed his jaw, but at last, he spoke. “We’re bonded. Mates. It’s…impossible for me to allow harm to come to you.”
I pushed away from him. “What the hell are you talking about? Mates?”
My wolf had used that word, right before she shifted back. I didn’t like the sound of it one bit.
Jaxson’s gaze was hard, his voice cold. “We’re fated to be together. Bonded. True mates.”
I scoffed. “That’s ridiculous. I don’t believe in that kind of thing.”
He gritted his teeth and spoke with a bitter tone. “It doesn’t matter whether you believe it or not, or whether either of us wants it. The fates have woven our lifelines together. We have no choice.”
We’re mates, my wolf said, but I shoved her aside as shock and resentment boiled up inside of me. I was not going to be told who to be with, not by Jaxson or my wolf or the fates or anyone.
I disentangled myself from Jaxson and stood, pulling what shadows I could find around me to cover my nakedness. “You realize how fucked up all this sounds, right? This can’t be real.”
He climbed to his feet and glared back at me. “Fated mates are as real as magic or werewolves or prophesies. The mate bond is part of our world. I didn’t know we were bonded until you shifted the first time. Suddenly, I felt your pain from miles away, and I knew exactly where you were. That’s how I found you in the woods.”
He came to us when we were dying, caught between forms, my wolf said.
Panic seeped in through the corners of my mind.
Jaxson touched his chest. “Our bond—it’s like a string stretched between our souls, always pulling us back together.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. This was hitting too close to home.
I’d felt that sensation, a tug on my chest pulling me out of the cavern and to Jaxson even when I was almost too weak to hold the knife.
He placed his hand lightly on my shoulder and released a burst of magic that sent a shiver along my spine. “Our bond is how I can heal you. Only true mates can do that. I can’t do it for anyone else in my pack.”
My heartbeat accelerated, and I fought for air as my lungs tightened. Jaxson was cornering me just like he’d done in the alley behind his autobody shop, like he’d done in the garden of monsters in Italy.
“Please. You can’t do this to me,” I whispered, pleading for him to declare it was all a lie.
His eyes flashed with anger. “Do this to you? Do you think I’m any happier about this than you are? Do you think I want this? Because I don’t.”
His words were a slap in the face, and resentment welled up in my heart.
So that was how he truly felt. I should’ve known.
I knotted my fists and vowed to find a way out of this fucked-up mess. “So this is like some sort of curse? There must be a way to break the bond.”
His jaw tensed, and his eyes flashed a honey-gold. “I don’t know. Maybe if we find a way to cure your lycanthropy…”
“Fuck! You can’t be serious!” I clenched my fists, and the bitter truth dawned on me. “Is that why you were so eager to see Alia? To find a cure? Because of this?”
His silence was an answer in itself.
Of course he would be desperate to get rid of me. I was a dirty LaSalle.
Jaxson raised his hand, but I started backing away. “No. This is too much. No one has the right to control my body or my heart. Not the sorcerer, not you, not my wolf, and not the fucking fates.”
“Savannah, I know this is a lot. Calm down. We can talk this through.”
Talk me through losing my right to choose my own partner? Talk me through being fated to someone who despises me and my family?
Anger burned in my chest, and I wanted to scream—at Jaxson, at the fates, at everything.
“No. I will not calm down.” I rubbed my throbbing temples. “I control my own fate. Nobody else. I’ll decide if I’m your mate or not, and I’m not. No fates or magical bond can make me. I reject this.”
His eyes blazed with resentment and rage, like my words had been a blade rammed into his chest, cutting out his soul.
It made my heart ache—but was that really my heart feeling for him, or was it a product of our so-called bond? Were any of my feelings for him real?
I didn’t know any more. It was too much to process.
“Savannah.” He stepped forward, but I stepped back, keeping my distance.
“Sorry, Jaxson, but I can’t do this.”
Then I turned and left, pulling a dark cloak of shadow around me.
My thoughts pounded in my mind as I strode down the beach. Were we really fated mates? Did I really have no choice?
The implications were staggering. If it was true, then everything between us was fake. A lie. A byproduct of our mate bond.
My heart felt like it was cracking, and a lump of sorrow and embarrassment rose in my throat.
Jaxson hadn’t tried to save me because he cared. He hadn’t healed me because he cared. He was compelled to. Forced to by the bond.
The sorcerer had said almost as much. Jaxson would have watched everyone die before he let me go. Because he had to. Not because he chose to or wanted to.
And everything he felt, it was because of our mate bond. Not because of his heart.
Hell, I’d smelled his bitterness and resentment when he’d told me we were fated. He said he hadn’t wanted it—because of course, how could he have truly cared for me? I’d killed his brother-in-law, and my monstrous family had killed his sister.
He’d had to watch Kahanov start to cut the souls from his pack, helpless to choose them over me. Helpless to save his wolves and to do his duty as alpha. It was horrific.
My skin suddenly felt overheated, and my breaths were coming too quickly. I couldn’t breathe, I needed to get out of there.
I began to run.
Sam’s voice erupted from behind me. “Savy! Where are you going?”
She was running after me, but instead of slowing, I quickened my pace.
“I don’t fucking know!” I shouted over my shoulder. “Away from here. Away from Jaxson and Magic Side and the pack.”
“Come on, Savy. Stop this. I know it’s a shock. You just need time to get used to the mate bond.”
I skidded to a halt and spun in horror. “Wait a minute, did you already know about this?”
She nodded. “I’ve known about you two since you first shifted. It’s impossible to miss. Your bond is so strong th—”
“You both knew, and you kept this from me all this time?” I clenched my fists to keep my thoughts and hands under control as waves of betrayal and anger burned through my veins.
She reached out, but I pulled away. I didn’t need her pity or comfort. It was too late.
Sam let her hand drop. “You’d just been turned into a wolf. You had a sorcerer trying to kill you. We knew it would be overwhelming. Too much was at stake.”
“So you just left me out of the loop, like always.” My voice cracked, and I fought back the tears that were pooling in the corners of my eyes. “I’m done with all of this. You, Jaxson, the pack. I can’t trust anyone.”
I turned to head back toward the collapsed cave to find Neve—who was mercifully something other than a werewolf—but Sam caught my arm. “He cares about you, Savannah. And I know you care about him, too.”
“You know nothing about how either of us feels. Now let me go!”
I tried to jerk my arm free, but she held on. “I care about you. And that’s not because of some bond.”
Her words made my throat catch, but I pulled away and started walking. I couldn’t handle this rollercoaster ride of emotions, and I didn’t know what to believe anymore. There were too many unspoken words, too many hidden truths.
“Please don’t shut me out. You’re a werewolf now. You need someone to help you through this.”
“I’ll find my own way.” Until I found the cure.
“That’s not how being in a pack works,” said Sam. “I’ll help get you through this transition, and I’ll tell you everything I know. About shifting. About moon cycles and pack etiquette. About the heat.”
I stopped short in my tracks. “The heat?”
She gritted her teeth and made an apologetic shrug.
God help me.
We’re gonna need her, my wolf said.
I closed my eyes and begged for strength. “I’m going to find Neve and return to Magic Side. And when I get back, I’m leaving. I don’t want to see you or Jaxson again. I want you to leave me the fuck alone.”
