DIMITRI
The next time I wake up, Kostya is in the room and Ivanka is gone. There’s a moment of panic as I sit up, my eyes searching for her.
“Easy does it,” Kostya moves to help me. “I sent her to get some food and rest. She’s barely left your side for three days.”
Kostya rearranges the pillows at my back, before guiding me against them. The dog jumps up immediately, his front paws at the edge of the bed as he gives me a quick study. Seemingly satisfied, he jumps back down before leaving the room. I swear these animals have more facial expressions than some humans. My jumbled mind tries to process what has happened and how much of it was real versus how much was it fever induced delirium.
“You okay?” I ask, giving Kostya a quick once over. He nods.
“Better now that you’re done with your dramatics. Who told you to get poisoned?”
“I don’t know. Thought it be a fun thing to try,” I reply, accepting the offered glass of water and taking a swig. “What happened?”
“How much do you remember?” Kostya takes a seat on the bed as he asks.
“Bits and pieces after I got cut. Did you find out who they were?”
“No. They were gone before the men could make it back.”
“They didn’t seem like regular bandits,” I say, handing him my now-empty glass and glancing at the door.
“They weren’t. Igor thinks they came from the royal army.”
“The royal army disguising themselves as bandits and attacking random people in the forest?” I ask, my gaze once again shifting to the door. When I glance back at Kostya, a knowing smirk is on his lips.
“Maybe it wasn’t random,” he says. Which means someone has figured out what we’re up to here and is searching for us. Or maybe they were looking for Ivanka. There are a few possibilities, and none of them pan out well for us. The bandits were too close to the cottage, too well trained, and too well prepared, like they were waiting specifically for us.
“Do you think our cover’s blown?” I ask, knowing Kostya won’t beat around the bush with me. He levels me with a look before he replies.
“I have no idea, and that’s concerning. It might be time for you to make that trip.”
I knew he was going to say it, but I still didn’t want to think about it. Especially not right now, when I think I might have messed things up with Ivanka. I look toward the door once more and Kostya sighs. My gaze shifts to meet his, and I notice the firm set of his lips.
“What?” I sit up a little more immediately. “What is it?”
“I’m not sure, Dima. But something is up with Ivanka. She’s been very quiet and not just because she’s worried about you.”
That’s what I was afraid of. My jumbled mind is still trying to process everything I said to her. For some reason, I think I called her princessa. I need to talk to her.
Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I’m attempting to stand with Kostya’s help, when I feel her. Glancing up, I watch as she steps through the door. My heart fills simply at the sight of her.
She’s wearing the blouse and trousers I bought her, looking more like a warrior than royalty. Her hair is free of her usual braid, falling in slight waves around her shoulders and down her back. Kostya is right, she has a different look in her eyes as she comes toward me, and I have no idea what to make of it.
“I’ll be back.” Kostya glances between the two of us before he leaves. I don’t miss the way he gives her wrist a tiny squeeze as he passes by.
Ivanka and I stare at each other for a long moment. I have no idea what to say to her. I want to thank her for staying by my side. I want to apologize for putting her through that. I want to take her into my arms and never let go.
But I wait her out, because it seems like that’s what she needs right now.
“You knew?” Her question is barely a whisper, and I don’t miss the panic entering her eyes with those words. All air leaves my lungs. I didn’t dream that part. This is definitely not how I wanted us to have this conversation.
“Not right away,” I reply, running a hand over my stomach as I stand in front of her. “There were signs, I was curious about you. But after we went into town and heard about the princess falling ill, I realized the timing was too perfect. And you’re not that good at playing a commoner, so all those little moments fell into place.” I attempt a smile, but she doesn’t return it.
“I am—” She wants to say sorry, I can see it. But for some reason she doesn’t say it right away, almost like she’s still deciding how much to say. I watch her process her thoughts and then stand up a little straighter once more. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to lie, but I had no choice.”
There are a dozen questions I can ask here, but for some reason, only one keeps racing through my mind as I watch her fidget with the ends of her hair.
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
She jerks at that, her eyes on me, and I see tears pooling at the edges. I want to reach for her and hold her close and tell her that I understand, since I am also keeping secrets from her, but I don’t move. I’m not sure she’ll let me touch her right now. So I curl my hands into my sides and wait for her.
“I wanted to. The more I got to know you, the more I wanted to. But I was afraid of what would happen.”
“You didn’t trust us.”
“That’s not it at all!” She surprises me by reaching out, placing her hand over my heart. The spot ignites at the simple touch and I stay absolutely still in case she pulls away. She seems to realize what she’s done and jerks her hand back, taking a few steps away from me. “I was afraid that knowing would put you in danger.”
“We’re already in danger.” I can’t help pointing that out, because she’s seen it firsthand with my injury, but she’s also heard us talk about the kingdom and what it’s been going through. She studies my face for a long moment, her eyes full of so much emotion it nearly takes my breath away. Tears falling down her cheeks and she doesn’t bother wiping them away before she speaks again.
“I wanted to protect you anyway.”
My chest feels like I’ve been struck directly in the heart at her words. Others have told me the same thing. The other men in this house have all said as much. They have followed me on this crazy journey not only because they want to help the kingdom, but because they want their prince safe. But it has never meant more or filled me as fully as hearing her say it.
I think I’ll forgive her anything if she keeps looking at me like that.
“Don’t do that,” she says, taking a tiny step from me. “Don’t look at me like I’m not the one who lied to you. My presence here has put you in danger, and it’s my fault.”
“That’s not it.”
“It is. The queen—she’s more powerful than you know. I have no idea how she got it, but I know she has magic, and she will come for you, and she will come for me, and the only thing I can do to protect you is to leave.”
I think if a hole opened up in the middle of the floor and swallowed me whole that would be less surprising than the words she just threw at me. My own panic rises, not at the prospect of the queen having magic, but at Ivanka walking out of my life forever. She’s not the only one who’s kept secrets, but before I can tell her mine, I have to convince her to stay.
IVANKA
“That’s not how this works,” Dimitri says, his voice soft as he takes a step toward me. He still looks so pale. We shouldn’t be having this conversation right now, but since we started, we both seem to feel the need to finish.
Part of me wishes we were still on opposing sides, bickering about everything, so I could use that to fuel my resolve, but I can’t. We stopped being on opposing sides some time ago and even our bickering has turned into something else. I’ve tried to fight against it, just like he has, but we’re both so bad at it. And now it’s going to cost us. Because I can’t protect him if I stay, and I’ve already decided I cannot put that kind of pressure on them to help me win. This is not their fight.
“It doesn’t matter—” I stop, because I can’t quite push the words past my lips.
“What doesn’t matter? How I feel? What I think? I’m pretty sure this is where we both have to make a decision.” He moves closer again and I stand my ground, even though there’s nearly no space left between us.
“This is not up to you.”
“So you get to decide for both of us? Fine then. Just tell me this. Am I the only one here whose heart is breaking at the prospect of you not being in my life?”
“Dimitri.” I’m gasping for breath as my voice chokes on his name, tears falling freely. And when I look into his eyes, I see that his are moist as well. I’m shaking my head, trying to find some sense of control. But his words are imprinted in my mind and on my heart, and I can’t find solid footing. Not when he’s looking at me like that.
“If I’m the only one”—he lowers his voice and I watch him take a shuddering breath—“then tell me now. But if the only reason you’re doing this is because you’re afraid of the queen, then I won’t accept that.”
I can’t hold it in anymore. Sobs shake my body as every terrible memory enters my mind. From the death of my father to me running through the woods to seeing Dimitri fighting for his life on that bed. It doesn’t matter what I want. I can’t be selfish and keep him.
“Stop, just stop. You don’t understand.”
My heart is trying to beat out of my chest, leaving no room to think. All I want to do is scream into this space, begging this whole land to listen to me, to protect him from everything terrible in this world. Just once, I need to be strong enough to make the tough decision. I am useless in a fight, and I will put all of them in danger if they have to worry about me. But I’m willing to make this sacrifice if it means he’ll be safe. So instead of trying to convince him, I turn to leave, because it’s the best thing for both of us.
Before I can take two steps, Dimitri’s hand is on my arm, and he’s spinning me to face him. My chest bumps into his and whatever air I had left in my lungs is gone. I hold my breath as I look up at him, his eyes full of fire.
“Stay. My heart is yours to break. Be mad, yell at me, make me the bad guy. But please, stay.”
He’s nearly manic with emotion, and I can see every fleck of color in his eyes and feel every beat of his heart against my skin. There’s no hesitation in his words; he sees me just as I am, and he’s asking me to stay anyway.
My fear is still there, but something else overshadows it and when I grab his collar and pull him toward me, he comes as eagerly as if he’s been waiting for this one moment his whole life.
Our lips crash together, and everything in me shatters and heals at the same time with that one contact. He tastes as breathtaking as a gorgeous sunset looks and when his arms wind around my back and pull me tighter against him, I think I have found my favorite place in the world.
He’s just as hungry for me as I am for him, and I don’t hesitate to mold myself to him, as I wrap my arms around his neck. He steps backward, taking me with him. I can tell the moment he reaches the bed, because he sits. I don’t hesitate to climb onto his lap, my legs on either side of him, our lips locked in a dance to music only we can hear.
I’m pretty sure we would’ve stayed like this for hours, simply lost in each other, if a sudden bark didn’t cause us to spring apart. Still holding onto Dimitri, I turn to see the dog at the door, giving us a look I cannot even begin to name. I glance at Dimitri and then at where I’m sitting, then promptly climb off his lap just before Igor steps into the room.
One look at both of us, and he doesn’t even bother to hide the smile that spread across his face.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I think we should be part of this conversation.”
My face heats at his words, because I had clearly forgotten that we weren’t alone in the house. Igor gives us a pointed look and then heads back out of the room.
“Thank you, buddy,” I mumble to the dog. At least his early warning gave us a heads up. I start to move away from Dimitri, but he catches my hand in his.
“Together, Ivanka,” he says, and then places a quick kiss to my hand, before he pulls himself up from the bed. He keeps my hand tucked into his as we walk out into the main room.
I swear my face must be as red as a tomato when we walk in, because every face turns to us as one, various-sized grins on their faces.
“Stop that,” I say. That only makes them chuckle.
“Sorry, Your Majesty,” Maxim says, which earns him a slap on the back of the head from both Pavel and Arseniy. I narrow a glare at him, and he ducks his head, but he’s smiling.
“You can’t treat me any differently,” I say, because it feels important.
“Princessa, we’ve known for a while now,” Kostya says, keeping his voice gentle. “You’re one of us. We’re not letting you just disappear.”
Clearly, they heard everything. I think I have no tears left in me, but they’re welling up once more.
“But,” Arseniy speaks up, “if you want to tell us what happened, we’ll listen.”
I know I need to tell them the truth. But admitting how I’ve been played for ten years is admitting how much of a failure I am. I didn’t see through the lies. What kind of a ruler can I possibly be if I’m so easily duped?
Yet, right here and right now, my self-doubting thoughts seem a little quieter. The men are watching me, waiting for me to make the decision. I look each of them in the eye—these men who have become like family to me—and I smile.
“I’ll tell you, if you’ll listen.”
And so I do.
