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Shadow Kissed: Chapter 41

Savannah

Savannah

My heart skipped a beat.

Our mother was here, and the shard of our soul was with her.

Every emotion I had rushed into my mind, from elation to regret. After all this time, would I have a chance to see her again? To speak to her? What would she think of me? Would she be miserable in this place? Would my shard refuse to leave her side?

The loremaster’s warnings about the underworlds came rushing back: Those who enter are always seduced to stay. Everything in the Deadlands is a trap designed to keep you there. No matter how well-meaning your sister is, all ghosts call to the living to join them forever.

The world seemed to shift and flow beneath my paws, and I stumbled slightly, but Jaxson stepped instantly to my side. “Easy there, beautiful wolf.”

He reached out tentatively, then ran his fingers through my fur. Tingles rushed along my spine, electric, like I’d never experienced before. Wolfie and I absolutely melted beneath his touch.

God, it’s good to be back, Wolfie purred in my mind. If only we were alone.

We were most definitely not alone. The ghost wolf alpha’s glare was like the sun searing the back of my neck.

Sudden shyness overcame me, and with a sorrowful pang of regret, I slipped away from Jaxson’s touch and pawed the earth. Let’s run together.

He gave me a knowing smile, then quickly removed the last of his clothes and placed them in a neat bundle beside a fallen log.

I glanced back toward the lake. I’d dumped my clothes dramatically at the base of a random tree. It wasn’t much different than how I’d been living at Jaxson’s penthouse.

I hope nobody steals my boots, I muttered to Wolfie.

Do you know how bad those things smell? One of those strange cats lurking in the forest is more likely to come along and try to bury them, Wolfie teased. I can’t believe you actually offered them to the Moon. You were lucky we didn’t get kicked out of the temple right there.

Yup. My sassy wolf was back, and my heart was full. Between her and Jaxson, I knew I could get through this.

I tried not to look at the sexy naked man striding back toward me and did my best to rein in my sudden upwelling of desire, as my scent would betray me in an instant. Jaxson shifted swiftly and landed on all fours beside me—a massive wolf, though definitely not the size of the white monster.

Jaxson cocked his head in challenge. Can you still run? You’re out of practice.

I gave our fur a shake. I’ve been a wolf for a month, and I’m just as fast as you are. You don’t want to see how fast I’m going to be once I get some real practice in.

He grinned, and I caught a scent of approval. Damn, it was good to have my wolf senses again.

As soon as Stephanie trotted up beside us, the ghost wolf alpha turned to face the path he’d created through the mist. Follow.

With no more warning, he began to run, and we chased after.

I let Wolfie drive—or, more accurately, I didn’t challenge her for the job.

The trees flashed by as we settled into a steady pace. My muscles rejoiced at running. It had felt like a lifetime since we’d run free like this. Something had been wrong, even when Wolfie was unbound before.

As I let go, I slipped down deeper into my wolf. She was in control, but somehow, I was there in every movement with her.

Everything feels different, I thought to Wolfie as we raced along the pine needle–strewn trail.

Something’s changed, she replied. I feel it, too. Maybe not all the bonds were broken before—the ones your aunt and father created. Maybe when you cast your unbinding spell this time around, the old bonds shattered as well as the new.

Was that true?

It had certainly taken all my strength to break her free, and I’d felt like we were fighting against so much more than my own spell. And something about our union was definitely different.

Maybe it was my perspective. In retrospect, something had felt restrained about our relationship. I’d always assumed that something was just wrong about Wolfie and me, and that somehow, over time, I’d become one with my wolf, like Jaxson and his were.

But that wasn’t my fate—I understood that now. I shared a body with another soul. We would never be one, but we’d never be separate.

I didn’t need to learn to control my wolf. I needed to learn when to let go and how to listen, how to lead and follow, how to become one in the dance, because we would always be two souls together.

We didn’t have to be like everybody else. We could be something more.

Wolfie glanced at Jaxson running beside us, perfectly in sync. There was an unspoken question in her look that I thought I understood.

What about him?

The fates had paired us together, just as they’d paired Wolfie and me. Could Jaxson and I learn the dance as well?

I knew for certain now that I needed him just as much as I needed her. I’d railed against our mate bond at first, but I didn’t want to fight anymore. I loved that bond, cherished it.

I knew that just as I had embraced my wolf, it was time to embrace what we were: fated mates.

What would happen if I truly gave into the emotions we shared? To let my fear of our bond go? To embrace it, to nourish it, to let myself sink deeper in love with him?

As we ran, wolves I didn’t recognize filtered in from the trees around us. The alpha’s sentries?

Something was strange about them. For a while, I couldn’t figure out what it was, but as we emerged from the land of mist and gray skies I finally understood: light was shining through their bodies.

They weren’t translucent like the ghosts I’d seen before, but they weren’t quite solid. I glanced at Stephanie. She was the same.

Ghost wolves.

Their numbers grew as we ran. They gave us no heed, and the alpha didn’t slow, so we just kept running.

I couldn’t keep my eyes off Jaxson. The way he moved was so powerful and graceful that it left me mesmerized. And I could feel his joy at running with Stephanie again. Elation. A connection lost, restored—if even for a moment.

Would I be able to run like this with my mother? What about my father? What had happened to him? Could they be together?

A glance from Stephanie drove the fears from my mind. While normally placid, her eyes were overflowing with joy. Run, she said. Savor this moment.

So I ran, treasuring the beauty and flow of it.

Soon, we joined with more wolves, maybe thirty or forty. One of the ghost packs. My chest tightened as if something was pulling on it.

The shard of my soul.

She’s here, I can feel it, I said to my wolf.

Me, too. Wolfie broke away from Jaxson and Stephanie and began desperately searching among the runners. I had to weave and dodge, but it was much calmer than our race through Magic Side had been.

I’m not going to jump into any water, Wolfie said. Hope you’re not disappointed.

Yeah, yeah, smartass. Lesson learned.

The wolves paid us no attention, just kept their eyes forward, lost in the rhythm of their pace.

At first, there were too many unfamiliar faces, but then I spotted her. I could feel the tug of our souls guiding me forward, but I knew her in an instant. She was a mirror, our twin—yet also far more translucent than the other wolves.

She’s only a shard of our soul, Wolfie noted.

My shard looked over her shoulder, and then, with a start, she veered off into the crush of wolves. We pursued, but she was just as fast.

Finally, she broke off from the pack and dashed up a small tree-covered slope, where she stopped and looked back.

I followed but halted ten paces away. My shard was wary and started pacing back and forth with her hackles raised. Who are you?

Wolfie piped up in my head: Okay, you have to explain this one.

Trepidation wrapped around me. I hadn’t really thought through what I was going to say. I tentatively took a step forward and bowed my head. I’m you. The part that’s still alive. I’ve come to bring you home.

She backpedaled slightly, sniffing the air. I can smell that you’re not of this place, but how is that possible?

I deferred my gaze slightly so as not to threaten her. Kahanov cut us with the Soul Knife. You died, but we were left alive.

My shard gaped at us. I can smell…truth. She began to look a little woozy. I remember…oh, fuck my life. Or death. Or just…fuck it.

Yup, if I’d had any doubts, that was definitely our soul.

The shard cautiously approached, sniffing the air. Kahanov was the last thing I remember. I was fighting him in the Dreamlands. I thought I’d lost. That I’d failed.

There was so much pain in her voice, my heart bent beneath the strain. What would it have been like to die believing that you’d failed? With my head lowered, I began moving to meet her. We won. We killed the bastard.

A familiar light twinkled in her eyes. Hell, yes. He was a bastard.

I paused, not wanting to spook her. Actually, he was being possessed by a ghost—a sorcerer named Victor Dragan. We killed him, too, but that took a little longer.

Mirroring me, she also paused and cocked her head to the side. You’ve—er, we’ve been busy, it seems.

I nodded. There’s a lot to catch you up on, and we’re not out of the woods yet. That’s why I need you to rejoin us, to come back to Magic Side.

She looked up and over my shoulder. I can’t return. I belong here, with the pack. Mom is here. I’m no longer afraid. I can just live.

With a lump in my throat and a sinking feeling, I followed her gaze. The whole ghost pack was waiting on the ridge, not far off.

Aw, crap. And I was on a clock.

I turned back to my shard, taking a firmer stance. Magic Side is in danger. Casey and Aunt Laurel, Sam and the whole pack. They need us. The Dark Wolf God is coming. They’re going to fight, but we’re the only one who can stop him.

My shard gave the slightest whimper of frustration. I don’t want to go back to fighting for my life every day, of always running, of always being afraid. I’m tired, and I just want to be at peace. My pack is here. Our family is here. Stay. We could all be together again.

My heart twisted. I longed to see my parents, and I wanted nothing more than to be at peace without having to fight for every breath, but I shook my head. Our pack is in Magic Side—Sam, Regina, Tony. As are Casey, Laurel, and Uncle Pete. Even Zara. There’s a whole roller derby team depending on us.

I turned to look back at Jaxson, and a flutter of warmth moved through me. And our mate. We have a life ahead with him if we can just get through this next tricky bit.

My shard’s eyes went wide. Our mate? But…

Oh, right. She’d been cut out before he revealed that juicy bit of information. You’ve got a lot of catching up to do. Trust me, it’s worth it. Like, very spicy.

Really? she asked, and I could smell her astonishment. And curiosity. Hell, I’d certainly been curious at one point myself. But there was more to Jaxson than the hot sex. And the amazing abs. And the low gravel of his voice, and the way he knew how to move his hands…

I cleared my throat. He’s thrown his life on the line again and again to protect me, and when my heart was breaking, he was there to hold and comfort me. Once, I couldn’t stand him, but now, I can’t stand the idea of being without him. I’ve never experienced life the way I have when I’m near him.

She gave me a wry look. Wow. The sex is that good, huh?

Oh, right, she knew me. I met her eyes with a smile. Out of this world. A dozen times better than anything I’ve had before. Trust me, you don’t want to pass on that.

My shard looked back to the alpha on the hill and the ghost pack. Was our mother somewhere out there? It didn’t matter—I had to push her over the edge.

I stepped close. I know this place is safe and that the pain and fear are over. But trust me, before we met Jaxson, we’d never truly lived—and we have a lot of living left to do.

My shard paused for a long time before she spoke again. Okay.

Okay? Joy swelled in my chest. The nightmare of being broken would be over soon.

My shard shrugged. Hell, I’m not going to miss out on all the fun with Jaxson if it’s as good as you say it is. And seriously, I’m not going to leave our friends and family in danger. Would you?

Of course not. We were the same.

She gave me a wolf grin. And why pass up a great opportunity to get killed again by a god? I’ve already died once. It’s only deeply traumatizing.

I dipped my head. Thank you.

She turned to look me in the eyes. But let me run with Mom one last time.

My stomach twisted. I needed that as much as she did, if not more so. Can you take me to her?

With a decisive shake of her fur, my shard headed back toward the waiting pack, and I followed.

Jaxson approached cautiously with an expectant look, and I gave him a nod. Success.

My shard eyed him with an appreciative, if slightly apprehensive look.

As we neared the pack, the ghost wolf alpha stepped forward. You have chosen to rejoin the land of the living.

Yes, my shard replied.

He bowed his head. I have given my word. You may go.

A great weight slid off my shoulders. He’d been so cold, I was terrified he would still try to stop her.

It was really happening. I was going to be whole. Head spinning with elation, I advanced to stand beside my shard. How do we…reunite ourselves?

The alpha’s reply sent low reverberations through my body. Run together and become as one.

My heart began hammering. May we run with the pack?

The ghost wolf alpha’s eyes turned hard. One day, but not today. You have made your choice, and now you must leave my lands. Your place is not with the dead, but with the living.

My stomach knotted, and my shard whined in protest. As if in response to the sound, a silver wolf darted down the hill.

I knew her instantly from her scent, even though I’d never seen her like this: my mom.


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