I’ve barely left my office the past two days, spending every minute to erase any sign of Hailey being seen with me.
It’s a fucking shit storm.
There’s no chatter about Rudaj’s death, but the payment came through.
Picking up my phone, I dial Madame Keller’s number.
“Mr. Koslov. What can I do for you?”
“I want to place a deposit.”
“For?”
“Safety when needed.”
“For yourself?”
“No.” I take a deep breath. “Hailey Welsh.”
There’s a moment’s silence. “For how long do you need the safety guaranteed?”
“Indefinitely.”
“The yearly fee is one point two million.”
“I know.”
Madame Keller lets out a breath. “The transaction will be secured as soon as I receive payment.”
“Thank you.”
I end the call and immediately transfer the funds.
Now to find a way of telling Hailey about St. Monarch’s and then cutting all ties with her.
I lean back in the chair and shake my head.
This should not have happened.
“Blyad’,” I mutter, knowing there’s one more call I have to make, but there’s a good chance Alexei will kill me, so I put off calling my brother.
Letting out a sigh, I get up and head to my room. I shower and change into the usual black cargo pants and shirt. Grabbing a coat, I shrug it on, and then I leave the house.
I walk the distance to Hailey’s place, and as I near the cabin, my pace slows down. Hailey’s unlocking her front door, and as she steps inside and turns to shut the door, her eyes land on me.
She freezes, but then a smile spreads over her face.
Sunlight breaks through the darkness, and I savor the moment, knowing it will be the last time I see her smile.
When I walk up the path to her front door, her smile grows. “And here I thought I wouldn’t see you for a while.”
“Hey,” I murmur. I glance around the area then ask, “Can I see your phone?”
“Ah… why?” She frowns as she pulls it out of her pocket.
“I want to give you a number.”
Her smile instantly widens, but this time it makes a heaviness settle in my heart. “Okay.”
I take the device from her and program Madame Keller’s number into her phone under ICE.
Hailey frowns again. “What does ICE stand for?”
“In case of emergency. If you’re ever in trouble, dial this number. They’ll get you to safety.”
“What?” Hailey’s frown deepens.
“I need to know you’ll call them if you need help.”
“What kind of help?”
“Just call that number. Only in case of an emergency.”
I hand her the device and then begin to walk away from her.
“Carson!” Hailey grabs hold of my arm. “What’s going on?”
My eyes drift over her face, and only because I know I won’t have contact with her again, I pull her against me and wrap my arms tightly around her.
Christ.
Feeling her body against mine is a million times better than I thought it would be. Getting to hold this beautiful creature makes me wish our lives were different because I don’t want to let her go.
My voice is hoarse as I whisper, “Enjoy traveling the world. Never stop smiling.”
Hailey’s arms fold around me. “Why are you saying goodbye? Is it about what happened Friday night?” She tightens her grip on me. “It’s not a big deal. Let’s talk about it.”
I shake my head and pull myself free from her hold. Our eyes meet, and I wonder if I’ll ever have the privilege of seeing something so beautiful again.
“Take care of yourself, Hailey. Remember to call that number if you need help.”
As I walk away from her, I tuck my hands into my pockets and clench my jaw.
“Carson,” she calls after me.
Fuck, this is harder than I thought it would be.
You have to.
Just keep walking.
Don’t look back.
“Carson!” The same ache bleeding through my chest is soaked into her voice.
In no universe can the moon and sun be together. They’re forever destined to be lightyears apart, with empty darkness filling the space between them.
It feels like there’s a crack forming in my heart before it turns to stone again.
For a moment in time, the sun shone on me. It was peaceful, the brilliance of the rays warming the frozen landscape of my life.
When my time comes, she’ll be my last thought.
Until then, I have to forget she ever existed.
HAILEY
It’s been over a week since the weird goodbye with Carson.
He didn’t come to the bar on Friday, and I haven’t seen him anywhere else in the village.
It’s not like you were dating him.
Still…
It actually hurts.
It hurts knowing I won’t see him again.
It doesn’t feel right.
My finger hovers over the number Carson programmed into my phone, but I stop myself from pressing down on it.
Carson said it’s only for emergencies.
Wondering why he said goodbye is not an emergency.
I let out a sigh, and getting up from my bed, I walk to the window. I stare up the road to where it curves around the mountain.
Carson’s up there.
Alone.
Maybe I was just too much?
I thought we were getting along well, though.
The fact that I can’t let go tells me I feel something for him. Something more significant than a crush.
I keep staring into the distance, but then a weird sensation skitters down my spine. My eyes dart around the front of my house, but nothing’s out of place.
It feels as if I’m being watched. It’s weird.
Stepping away from the window, I walk back to my bed. Sitting down, I pull my laptop closer and bring up the list I’ve made of places I want to see.
Bern is next. It’s three hours away, so I’ll make it an overnight trip. I check the bus schedule and see there’s one leaving tomorrow at twelve in the afternoon. I can spend the afternoon and Wednesday morning exploring the town’s old-world charm and then return with the five-forty-five bus. In time for my shift at the bar, which starts at seven.
I check what hostels there are and decide on Backpackers Hotel Glocke. From the photos on Booking.com, the place looks clean, and the reviews say it’s comfortable.
I secure a bed for tomorrow night, then close the laptop. I pack an overnight bag and then glance around the room, wondering what else I can do before I have to get ready for work.
I check the time. Still three hours before my shift starts.
An idea begins to form in my mind, and deciding it can do no harm, I leave the cabin and walk up the road. As I head toward Carson’s house, I stop to pick flowers. I’m just going to leave them by his front door, so he knows I’m here if he wants to talk.
The walk takes thirty minutes, and when I round the bend, Carson’s house comes into view. I pause to catch my breath, and there’s an aching twinge in my chest, knowing I’m so close to him.
That’s if he’s even home.
Walking closer, my eyes scour the windows looking for any movement, but there’s nothing.
For a moment, I feel bad for trespassing, but then I push through, and I cross over a stream.
It’s so beautiful here, with the house blending in with the surrounding trees and mountainside.
And quiet… just like Carson.
Crouching by the front door, I carefully place the flowers on the wooden deck.
Straightening up, I stare at the door.
“I hope it wasn’t goodbye,” I whisper before I turn around and leave.
The walk back to my place goes quicker as it’s downhill. When I get home, I shower and change into a comfy pair of jeans and a sweater. I grab a coat in case it rains and then leave again, heading in the direction of the bar.
Feeling the weird sensation again, I glance over my shoulder, but not seeing anyone, I shrug it off.
I plan on staying in Saint Luc for another two months before choosing another village to make my home for three months.
The thought brings back the pang of sadness.
It means I really won’t see Carson again.
The ache in my heart deepens to the point that I lift a hand and rub over the tender spot.
God, I hope that doesn’t happen.
I really want to see him again.
