Pen
We come together without words.
We come together with walls crumbling, with pain ebbing away.
We come together with heat, with longing.
We come together with love…
Heart-wrenching, soul-squeezing, gut-punching, pussy-trembling love.
I’m not sure who kisses who first but the power behind our kiss is like two atomic bombs detonating against each other. It’s fierce. It’s full of fire and passion and desperation.
Our bodies smash together.
Our teeth clack.
Our tongues dance.
Our lips bruise.
Our fingers grip and squeeze, stroke, and scratch.
We claw at one another, and Dax bites down on my bottom lip, making me draw in a sharp breath as the metallic taste of blood mixes with our saliva. But I don’t stop kissing him. I grind into him, my pussy pressed up against his hard abs as I moan with desperate wanting. We’re frenzied, charged with an unstoppable desire to rip away any remaining walls between us. It’s been three years of longing, of yearning, of loneliness and grief.
“Kid, fuck,” he mumbles against my mouth as his large hands grasp my arse and squeeze.
“Please,” I moan, my core slick.
Wanton, wet, willing.
I don’t care how much we’ve hurt each other. I don’t care that there are still things we need to talk about, to iron out. I don’t care about anything other than this moment right now.
Right now, it’s just us.
In this moment, only healing matters. I want this.
Today, I choose Dax, and that makes me feel powerful.
My legs tighten around Dax’s waist as his hand slides up and over my hips, lifting my t-shirt in a frantic tug. I break our kiss, trusting him to hold me up as I rip off my t-shirt and bare myself to him. His gaze drops from my face to the flushed skin of my chest and the peaked points of my nipples. I arch my back telling him what I want. What I need.
Nothing else exists.
Only us, right here, in this moment, now.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he grinds out, lowering me backwards, his large palm supporting my back as he folds over me in a move that is asking me to trust him.
I arch my spine, my head dropping back between my shoulders and Dax squats down, balancing my arse on his firm thighs whilst his hand slides down the middle of my chest. It takes strength to keep me held like this, balanced this way, but Dax does it with ease as he kisses a hot trail over my skin. “I’ve thought of nothing else but the way your skin tastes, your pussy tastes,” he grinds out as his mouth clamps around my nipple. I moan as the wet heat of his tongue laps at me, drawing my already sensitive bud into the vacuum of his mouth. He sucks, and I squirm against him, sensation zapping from my nipple clamped between his teeth, to my pussy. Heat blooms between my legs, and my clit spasms, needing release.
“Dax. Oh, fuck!”
The desperation in my voice forces Dax to let go of my nipple. He lifts me upright, folding his arms around my back, his fingers gripping the back of my neck as he kisses me, blindly walking across the room until my back hits the wall. He traps me there, his body pressed against mine as he cups my face, his fingers digging into my scalp.
“Do you know how many nights I’ve dreamed of this, Kid? How many times I’ve hated myself for letting you go without a fight, then hating you because you fucking walked away with him. There were so many times I fisted my cock and came with anger in my heart and rage in my blood, all the while thinking of you. Do you understand how much we’ve fucking hungered for you, how lost we’ve all become? Do you understand that I won’t allow you to hurt me again? This is your only warning, Kid. I’m taking a leap of faith, not for loving you like this, but for trusting that you won’t break me again. I won’t survive it. Do. You. Understand. Me?”
I clasp his face in my hands and press my forehead against his. “Yes. Yes, I understand.”
And I do. I understand the momentousness of what’s happening. That there’s no going back now that we’ve opened up this way.
“Will you be honest with us? Will you tell us what the fuck happened?” he asks, his thumbs brushing against my cheekbones.
I nod my head once. It’s time to let it out. It’s time to trust again. “I can’t do this on my own anymore,” I admit.
“Then you won’t. Whatever this is, I’ll be there. I’ll protect you,” he says fiercely, before pressing himself into me and kissing me like he wants to work his way beneath my skin, like there’s no other place he wants to be, like this is it for him. I gasp as he grasps both my breasts in his large hands roughly, not to hurt me but because he can’t seem to control himself. The sound of my surprise is enough to make him pull back, to hesitate. Our gazes clash and the depth of feeling I see within his grey-green eyes startles me.
“I had no intention… I didn’t plan this… You can tell me to stop, and I’ll fucking stop, Kid. I might die from blue balls, but I’ll stop.” He lets out a small laugh and his body trembles with the sheer force of his will as he holds back. I shake my head fiercely.
“Don’t you dare stop! Don’t you dare stop loving me!” I cry, my fingers curling into his shoulders and the heels of my feet pressing into his rock hard arse as I force him tighter against me.
“Never. I never stopped. I loved you even when I hated you. Oh, Kid. Fuck! I need to be inside you!”
“Yes. Oh God, yes!” I respond, writhing against him. Needing him as much as he needs me. His lips find my collarbone, as his hand slides upwards over my neck and rests against my cheek, twisting my head to the side.
“I’m going to taste every inch of you,” he says, licking across my shoulder and up my neck, biting on my earlobe before kissing the tender spot beneath my ear. “I’ve missed your scent. You smell like summer heat and starry nights. You smell like home.”
His mouth finds mine in a glorious, wet, passionate kiss. I match his pace, my tongue duelling with his, my pussy grinding against him.
We’re not tender.
We’re not gentle.
This isn’t us slowly coming together. This is three years of distance, of want and longing and hurt colliding in one explosive, chaotic, beautiful mess.
That’s us. A beautiful mess, and I don’t want it any other way, even though there’s a voice in the back of my head, a tiny, miniscule voice warning me that sleeping with him might hurt. It reminds me I’ve only had sex once before. But the rest of me, the woman who is starving for Dax, tells her to sit back and enjoy the fucking ride.
“Please, Dax, I need you now,” I say, breathlessly.
“Condom,” Dax grinds out, and with me still in his arms he opens the door to the studio and strides across the hallway and into his bedroom. He frees me from his hold, practically chucking me on the bed in his haste. I giggle, feeling lighthearted, happy, as he yanks open his bedside drawer with such force that it falls to the ground, spilling its contents. I watch him grab a foil condom packet and then in one move, he yanks off his shorts almost falling over in his haste.
“Hey, be careful,” I laugh, joy bubbling inside me like champagne bubbles in a glass. But laughter dies on my lips as I see his huge cock bobbing in front of us. It’s as big as I remember, and I bite my lip, aggravating Dax’s bite from earlier.
“Fuck, I need to up my game,” he says, looking at the mess on the floor.
“Your game is pretty good,” I quip, flicking my gaze between the blush-red head of his cock and his face.
“Oh, Kid, you’ve no idea what I’m going to do to you.”
Leaning over, Dax grabs the bottom of my joggers and whips them from my body in one quick tug, leaving me bare and naked before him. His eyes drop to my shaved pussy, and his mouth pops open with a groan.
“I want to taste you,” he says, dropping to his knees at the edge of the bed, his hands reaching up and grabbing my ankles as he yanks me towards him. I let out a screech, laughter bursting from my lips. “Tell me no one has tasted you like this. Tell me this pussy’s never been fucked with a tongue,” Dax asks between kisses and licks up my inner thigh.
“York—” I breathe, not wanting to lie to him. He catches the worry in my face and curses. “Well then, I’m gonna have to erase that motherfucker’s lips from your cunt. If it was anyone else, I might’ve committed murder.”
“Please, don’t. I love him too…” I whisper. Dax locks gazes with me and smiles.
“Kid, we don’t deserve you,” he says, as I wriggle beneath him, my hands sneaking down towards my clit. I need to ease the ache there.
“No!” he snaps, and my hands fall away at his abruptness. “This is all on me. I’m going to make you come, Kid. Me.”
“Okay,” I whimper.
“Good,” he grinds out, lifting my legs over his broad shoulders as his hands slide under my thighs and grip onto my hip bones. He hovers over my pussy, his warm breath teasing. I jerk upright onto my elbows, watching him look at my slit. It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever fucking seen. This big, tattooed man, my Dax, my Dark Angel looking at me like I’m some kind of exotic meal he can’t wait to taste. His tattooed hands and fingers grip hold of my creamy skin, his fingers leaving indents from holding on so tight.
“Jesus,” I mumble, words failing me. Dax smiles, his eyes flicking up.
“So fucking pretty, so pink, so wet, so mine. I’m going to taste you now,” he warns, then he lowers his mouth and licks me from my dripping hole to my clit in one firm stroke. I fall back onto the bed, moaning at the sensation. Just like our kisses he tastes me with purpose, his tongue sliding over every inch of my pussy, his tongue flat against my clit, his lips sucking my outer labia into his mouth. He sucks, he licks, he buries his face between my legs and eats me out, burying his nose in my pussy until I worry he can’t fucking breathe. But he doesn’t let up and my thighs clamp around his head as a groan comes from deep inside my throat. I reach for him, my hands grasping his head. I grind against his face. I’m so wet that the lower half of his face is covered in my juices, but he doesn’t seem to care. When his hand reaches down, and his thumb presses against my clit, circling it expertly, I come hard. There’s no warning, no build up, just a clit orgasm that spreads out across my body until I’m crying out and thrashing beneath him. Dax pins me down, not letting up, and I feel my opening spasming beneath him, my internal walls tightening then loosening, desperate for something to hold onto. I push against his face, wanting to be filled with his tongue, his cock, his fingers. Right the fuck now.
“Touch me!” I beg, not caring how desperate I sound.
Understanding what I need, Dax slides a finger inside of me, and I cry out, my pussy clenching around him.
“You’re so damn tight. Fuck,” he grinds out, moving his finger in and out before he rubs against that spot inside. I jerk against his hand, Dax’s finger lighting a fire beneath the dying embers of my orgasm.
“Oh fucking yes,” I pant.
I hear Dax’s laughter as though it’s down the end of a very long tunnel. My chest heaves and my eyes roll into the back of my head as I ride his hand, chasing another orgasm that’s way more intense than the first. His finger curls inside of me, and when he slides another finger into my opening, I relish the slight burn. I whimper as he rises upwards onto his feet, his fingers still inside me as he hunches over, looking down at me.
“Have you fucked before, Kid?” he asks, a serious expression on his face. There’s an edge of jealousy in his gaze that must be reflected back in mine because he grins, his thumb pressing on my sensitive clit. There’s no way a man like Dax has stayed faithful to my memory. He had every right to sleep with women whilst we were apart, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. “I’m not a virgin,” he says, his voice smooth, low, apologetic almost. “I wasn’t a virgin when we met that first time, and I know that it wouldn’t be fair to expect you to be one either, though it fucking kills me to know another man has taken your virginity when it should’ve been one of us.”
My cheeks flush for a different reason this time, because I’m not experienced. I slept with that one man, and it was awful. It’s been a long time since that fuck-up of an evening.
“Kid?” he asks, his fingers penetrating deeper, hitting that spot that makes my eyes roll back in my head. I wonder how on earth he expects me to answer him when he’s fingering me the way he is. “Kid?” he persists, rubbing on that spot. “Tell me.”
“Once before… It wasn’t particularly good,” I admit, my words tumbling out of my mouth in a breathy rush.
Dax scowls. “Then I’m gonna fuck you until you forget your first time, until all you remember is this. Us. I’m gonna make sure you enjoy every last second of it. Okay?”
My response is ripped from my lips in a deep-throated moan as Dax finger-fucks me, the concentration on his face is sinful as he stirs up another orgasm, one that builds deep inside my womb and circles outwards. I thrust my hips upwards to meet his hand, my eyes snapping downwards to watch as the muscles in his forearms flex. I see the large veins bob beneath his tattooed skin, and I reach for his arm, running my fingers over his skin, clamping on his wrist, and urging him to go harder, faster.
“I got you, Kid,” he grinds out and with his hand still between my legs, he lowers himself beside me, his thick thigh resting on mine whilst his foot slides down my other leg nudging me wider. I bend my knee, lifting my leg to the side and opening up for him. “That’s it, spread your legs for me.” His voice is a sexy rumble as he brushes his lips against my ear, his teeth capturing my lobe, nipping me gently as he strokes my internal walls. “You lying here beside me like this… Spread open for me like this. Fuck, I feel like a king. I feel like the richest man in the world. You, my Kid, our Pen, our lucky penny.”
I turn my face to look at him, his pupils are blown wide in lust, and his face is flushed as his movements get steadily quicker. I reach up to him, clasping the back of his head, urging him to kiss me deeply. He doesn’t hesitate. His thumb presses on my clit, rubbing it in such a way that has my toes curling and my fingers gripping hold of the bedsheets.
“Kid—” he says against my lips, pulling back slightly.
“Yes—?” I bite down on my lip, holding onto the cry that’s ready to rip out of my throat.
Dipping deeper inside me, he crooks his fingers and rubs on that special spot quickly, over and over again, his hand jerking. “I want you to come.”
His words split me apart and I detonate around his hand, my internal walls squeezing his fingers in an orgasmic grip. If it was his cock, I’ve no doubt I’d wring him dry. Dax groans, and when my orgasm ebbs away, he gently pulls his fingers out of me before sliding them into his mouth, a savage look on his face.
“If I hurt you, tell me. If I go too hard, too fast, tell me. If you want me to stop, tell me. I want this to be good for you,” he says, seriously.
“That’s sweet, Dax, but honestly I don’t want slow. I want to feel you. I want to know I’m yours.”
Another sexy growl rumbles up his throat as he climbs on top of me and smashes his mouth against mine, his tongue sweeping inside my mouth erotically. I can taste myself on his lips and it makes me hunger for more. When he trails his mouth lower, his teeth scraping over my cheek, my collarbone, my nipples, I groan and moan, not recognising the sounds coming out of my mouth. Kneeling, he reaches behind my head, grabbing the condom and tears open the foil wrapper with his teeth, rolling it over his considerable length before shifting over me. I’m not that experienced in the male anatomy, but I know he’s large. At a guess, he’s a good ten inches, and wide. I stare at his dick, at the long vein on the underside, and swallow hard. Fuck, I’ve no idea if that’s even going to fit. Dax gently nudges my legs apart with his knees, and grasps his cock in his hand, rubbing the tip along my slit.
“I’ll take care of you, okay?”
I nod, not able to talk as he lowers himself over me, the tip of his cock resting against my entrance. His forearms cage my head, and his fingers curl into my hair as he looks at me intently. Slowly, he pushes into me, only stopping when the head of his cock is sheathed.
“Damn, you’re so tight!” he exclaims, trembling as he holds back. The veins in his neck stand prominently beneath his skin, and I lift myself up to meet him, my mouth pressing against them.
Dax sinks into me, inch by glorious inch until I’m full. He settles above me, breathing hard and allowing me to adjust to his size. I’m slick with need, and when he begins to move agonisingly slowly, I slide my tongue up his neck and lick the shell of his ear.
“Fuck me like you mean it, Dax,” I say, breathily.
So he does.
Dax pulls out and slams into me in one harsh movement. A scream rips out of my throat at the sharp sting of him impaling himself balls deep inside of me, only for that pain to ebb away with every thrust afterwards.
Dax fucks me.
He doesn’t hesitate.
His hips piston.
His cock rams into me.
And I lift my pelvis up to meet every harsh thrust.
This is pleasure and pain.
This is a clawing, roaring, shredding of inhibitions, of our pasts.
This is us battering down every last blockade between us, smashing through three years of loss, of anger and pain.
This is coming together in the most basic and raw way.
I groan, gasping for air, suffocating in his kiss, revelling in his hurricane that churns us both up into nothing but eddying emotion. Thick, full, potent.
“Fuck, Kid.”
The bed creaks beneath us as Dax shifts his position, flipping my leg across my body so that I’m half turned away from him. He grasps my hips, leans over, and fucks me harder, slamming into me. The new position means that he’s deeper inside me, and I tighten around him, accepting every inch as another orgasm gathers strength. It rushes upwards and out of my centre, a tsunami that blinds me momentarily and snatches my breath. With his fingers tangled in my hair, his lips pressed against mine, and his cock buried deep inside of me, Dax comes. He comes with jerking limbs and rolling eyes, and a roar that explodes out of his throat as my pussy tightens around him and milks him of every last drop of cum.
