“I need to go into town,” I say over breakfast.
Steve looks up from his phone, where he’s reading the news. “What do you need?”
“Just to run a few errands.” I sip my juice, which is freshly squeezed and deliciously cold. It’s the first time I’ve ever had the kind of breakfast you see on TV shows and in the movies.
“Well, John isn’t coming to fit the tire for a few more days. One of the boys could take you. Brayson, will you take Sara?”
Brayson looks up from his cereal, his eyes flicking to where I’m sitting. “Sure. No problem.”
Steve smiles at the willingness of his stepsons to help out his daughter. Little does he know that Brayson probably has an ulterior motive for being so helpful.
If I had a choice, I’d be doing this alone, but my tire is still flat, so I guess I’ll just have to find a way to prevent Brayson escorting me around like a giant bodyguard.
Brayson takes the truck that I guess my stepbrothers share. The first thing he does is change the country music station to the Foo Fighters.
“So, where do you need to go?” he asks.
“Just into town.”
“For anything specific?”
I tell him the name of my bank and leave out the part about the post office, hoping that wherever we go, I’ll be able to find one. “Oh, and I need some toiletries.”
He nods. “We should be able to do all that.”
As we pull out of the drive, he clears his throat. It’s more awkward between us than it should be, seeing as he’s licked between my legs, and I’ve sucked on his cock. It’s so much easier in the dark when expectations are all physical. Something about being driven by him like this makes me feel like I’m going on a date and I don’t do dates.
“Are you feeling okay?”
My throat is tight, and I twist the handle to the purse in my lap. Am I okay? The answer to that is a firm no. I cried most of the night, and now I have to swallow it all down and pretend that everything is fine because Steve’s illness is a secret from half the household. “I’m fine,” I say.
His hand drops from the wheel to my leg, squeezing my knee with a familiarity that comes with the physical intimacy we’ve shared. “I’m glad we’re getting this time together. I mean, we’ve been hanging out and everything, but we never get to spend any time alone.”
“Yeah. I guess you must be used to that.”
“With three noisy brothers? Yeah, it’s kind of a given. I’m just glad we’ve got our own rooms. Sometimes I feel like I can’t hear what is going on in my own head.”
“Believe me, spending too much time alone is just as annoying.”
Brayson takes his eyes off the road for a second to glance at me. I guess he wants to read my expression before he asks any more questions.
“You’re an only child?”
“Not anymore,” I laugh, trying to keep things light. “You guys are fulfilling many roles in my life right now.”
“Yeah, well being a stepbrother and a lover to the same person definitely has its plusses and minuses. Sometimes, when you’re sitting next to me at the dinner table, I forget that this is all a secret and reach out to touch you.”
“I think Steve might notice if you did that,” I say, imagining the shocked faces and shivering.
“Exactly, and I’m conscious that we might look at you differently. I mean, when I see you, I just start thinking about…”
“…about sex.”
“Fuck yeah…like when you wrap your legs around my waist, and I’m buried deep.”
“You like that?”
“Yeah…”
“Or when you’ve got your wide legs open, and I use my tongue to tease your clit…”
He’s grinning now because I think he suspects that he’s making me wet. It seems strange to be talking about sex when I know what I know about Steve, but I don’t have a choice. I have to keep my brain from going to places that are going to make me cry again, and this is working.
“Or when I take your cock in my mouth and suck it right down into my throat.”
Brayson makes a choking sound, his hand going between his legs. “You’re going to make me hard, and then I won’t be able to get out of this car.”
Perfect, I think. That’s precisely what I’m going to do. I’m going to tease him until his cock is so big and hard that he’s gonna have to wait for me in this truck. “Here, let me,” I say, reaching over and sliding my hand down the front of his sports shorts, finding that Brayson’s wearing nothing underneath. He’s hot and hard in my hand, and he gasps as I hold him tight around his girth and pull back and forth.
“Fuck…do you want us to arrive in one piece because if you keep doing that, I’m making no guarantees.”
“You drive,” I say. “I’ll worry about this.”
What I need is to taste him. I need to fill my mouth with man so I can forget about everything else, and when I lean over and lick the swollen tip of him, it works. All I can think about is pleasing him. He swears, his hand going to the back of my neck as though he doesn’t know if he should push me down or pull me up.
I tease him mercilessly until his legs are shaking and his hips are bucking, and I can taste he’s so close. It’s then that he slips his hand under my chin and urges me back.
“We’re about to drive into the parking lot,” he mutters breathlessly. “You’d better stop.”
Perfectly timed.
I lick my lips, and wipe them with the back of my hand. Brayson’s cheeks are flushed and his chest is rising and falling fast. He’s undone and I love it. “Here’s fine,” I say, opening the door.
“Wait,” Brayson calls after me. “I’ll come with you…I just have to…”
“It’s okay,” I call through the open window. “I’ll be quick and I’ll meet you back here.”
I jog across the lot in the direction of the stores. My bank is on the corner and I dash inside, joining the shortest line. I just need to get this done quickly. If Brayson tries to come after me I don’t want it to be when I’m asking for a check for fifty-thousand dollars. This has to be a secret because I’m pretty sure that Steve won’t accept it if he finds out it’s from me.
Having money is a new thing for me and I still haven’t gotten used to it. I always thought it would solve all the difficulties in my life, but it hasn’t. Yes, it makes life easier but it doesn’t take away the ache inside. It doesn’t fix the loneliness. Giving it away for this reason is easy. Steve may not have been a father to me while I was growing up, but he has a chance to make up for that, if he can just get better.
The line moves fast and I tell cashier what I need, showing her the necessary identification. She looks over her glasses at me with a puzzled look on her face. There’s a lot of money in my account. A lot for someone as young as me.
“Is everything okay? This is a large check. Do you know the person you’re withdrawing this money for?”
They’re personal questions but I guess she’s thinking I might be getting tricked by a fraudster. “It’s for my dad.”
She nods and processes everything efficiently. She’s handing me the check when the door opens. I glance over my shoulder and there is Brayson. He stands by the wall and crosses his arms, while I stuff everything into my purse. Shit. How am I going to get this to the post office now?
I smile brightly at him, and stride forward. “I’m done here. I just have to go to two other places but you don’t need to trail around after me. I’m okay if you have errands to run yourself.”
Brayson shrugs. “I don’t need anything. I’ll just walk with you if that’s okay?”
Seriously, this guy does not get the hint. I guess I’m just going to have to let him be my chaperone and try to hide what I’m doing as much as possible. Next stop is the post office, but I have no idea where it is. “Is there a drug store near?” I ask, hoping as we walk I’ll see where I need to go.
“Sure, just up here.” Brayson indicates to the right and that’s the way we walk.
It’s a nice town with tables on the sidewalk for the coffee shops and diners. The drugstore is old-fashioned, with ornate gold lettering on the windows. Just past it, I catch the sign for the post office further down the street.
“Could you run in here and get me some toothpaste? I don’t mind what flavor. I’m gonna grab something down there, and I’ll meet you back at the car.”
“Sure, I guess…”
I jog down the road before Brayson has a chance to object, and when I’m outside the post office, I turn quickly to make sure he’s not watching. Thank goodness he’s already disappeared inside the drugstore.
Saying a quick prayer that I’ll be able to get served quickly, I dash inside. I have the address for my dad’s house in my purse. All I need is an envelope and a stamp. There’s a display of stationery by the door, and I grab a small packet of envelopes. At the counter, I quickly scribble the address while the smiley lady finds the correct stamp. My writing is scratchy but legible, and thankfully different enough to my usual cursive not to raise suspicion. I’m done in less than five minutes, and my heart is thudding against my ribs.
I’m on the home straight.
At least I think I am until I dash out of the door of the post office and bump right into Brayson.
“Shit, Sara,” he says, dropping the paper bag he had in his hand, the toothpaste I asked him to buy rolling out onto the ground.
“Sorry.” I scramble to pick everything up at the same time as him, and we bump heads in the most uncoordinated display. I see stars, and he grabs hold of me as I sway.
“Are you okay?” He puts his hand to cradle the spot on my head that’s hurting. Tears spring to my eyes from the shock of the impact and the panic that’s been growing inside me. While I had things to do, I’d managed to push down my worry about Steve, but now that focus is gone, the realization of what this money is actually for floods through me. Brayson looks horrified and pulls me into his arms, pressing his hand to the back of my head and letting me sob. “I’m so sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
God, he feels good; strong, and reassuring. In his arms, I feel so much better, but I can’t get used to being soothed by a man who’s supposed to just be my fuck buddy. I just can’t. “It’s okay,” I splutter. “It…it wasn’t your fault.” Swiping at my tears, I pull away, feeling ridiculous. He doesn’t know that my head is the least of my worries. He has no idea that the man who’s treated him as a son for over a decade is fighting for his life. I need to pull myself together and get us out of here as quickly as possible before Brayson registers what I’ve been doing.
I start walking, very aware that I actually have no idea where I’m going and that I look a little crazy. Brayson’s feet thud on the sidewalk slightly behind me, but it doesn’t take long for him to catch up. “Do you need a drink or something?” he asks.
“I’m all done here. We can head back.”
“Well, the car is just up here. We can turn right ahead to get into the other side of the lot.”
“Sounds good.” I slow a little, just so he can take the lead. “Thanks for getting my toothpaste.”
“I’m sure we have plenty at home you could have used.”
“I didn’t want to tread on anyone’s toes,” I say. Oh God, I don’t know how I’m going to keep up this façade of calmness and brightness.
The journey back in the car is difficult. Brayson tries to make conversation, but all I can manage is yes and no answers, and in the end, he gives up. I stare out of the window, watching the world go by. Nothing has changed. People are still going about their daily business, but everything has changed for me.
I don’t want my dad to die. I want him in my life.
I just hope that the money will be enough to help him fight to stay with his family.
