“What do you mean there are no blush roses? It’s roses. Everyone has them. Even I have them in my back yard.” I place a palm on my forehead while pacing my office. “Well, I don’t have enough of them for a wedding with twenty-three tables. No, we can’t use lavender roses. My God.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Listen to me. I don’t care if you have to import them from Ecuador or hand-paint twenty dozen roses. But you better get me blush roses for this wedding.” I hang up, toss my phone on the desk and plop down on the chaise. “God, this is a disaster.”
“Knock, knock.”
I peek through one eye at Leandra. “Tell me you’re hiding a truck full of Xanax beneath that coat of yours.”
“That bad, huh?” She smiles and takes a seat across from me.
“My florist seems to think lavender roses can be substituted for blush roses like it’s even remotely the same shade.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“That depends. Do you have a shitload of blush roses for me?”
“Sorry. I can’t help you there.”
“This is my first project. I can’t have anything go wrong.”
“You haven’t spoken to Nicoli yet, I take it?”
“No.” I stand and walk over to the window. Nicoli’s car isn’t there, so he’s not back yet. “He left real early this morning. He was gone when I woke up.”
“I know.”
I glance at her. “You do?”
“Yeah. He, ah…” She clears her throat. “He came barging into our room this morning while Alexius and I were—you know.” Her cheeks flush, and I grin.
“Since when are you bashful about getting caught?”
“Anyway. He mentioned that Maximo had called and they needed to get to Myth urgently.”
“Myth?”
She nods. “Whatever happened there has to be serious for them to leave before dawn.”
I turn back to look out the window. The colors of dusk break through the gaps in the clouds, dark with rain. “Maximo always says trouble never sleeps. I have to tell you, if I didn’t grow up in this family, I would have made myself sick with worry every time they left the house.”
“You mean you don’t worry?”
“Of course I do. But I think I’m so used to the feeling, it seems normal to me now.”
Leandra nods in agreement. “I know what you mean,” she says softly. “Sometimes I feel like we’re living in a different world.”
“We are living in a different world,” I say simply. “A world where our husbands aren’t good men.”
She scoffs. “There are a lot of people who would argue that we’re crazy to stay when we know all the wrongs of this family.”
“True. But Alexius and Nicoli, they’ve never pretended to be anything other than who they truly are. They never hid the side of them others fear. So, if you think about it, maybe there’s a bad side to us that they speak to.” I shrug. “Maybe a part of us likes that they’re not always…good.”
“Are you saying we’re attracted to the danger?”
I smirk, taking a seat at my desk. “Yeah. I think I am.”
“And that’s why you haven’t told Nicoli about the Carrington-Winslow wedding?” She winks. “You’re attracted to trouble, and a part of you wants to see the…dark side of Nicoli when he finds out you lied to him.”
The back of the chair presses against the cut on my back, and I’m reminded about what Nicoli and I did in the kitchen. The knife. The adrenaline. The thrill. I know he’s a cruel man. I know what he does for this family. I’ve heard the whispers in these halls about him being able to kill without blinking. I saw it firsthand when he killed Felix outside the club that night. It was right there in his eyes, the cold, hard glint of a man who was taught to kill without remorse.
And while he pressed that blade against my back, a surge of euphoria flooded my system and made me tremble. Thinking of how easy it could be for him to end a life if he chose, the thought of his control over me sparked an erotic insanity in me. It was the most alive I’ve ever felt when that pain sliced across my skin just before he fucked me rough and hard.
I shift in my seat, pressing my thighs together because just the memory makes me want to experience it again. “Maybe,” I reply coyly, enjoying the way Leandra’s eyes light up in amusement at my confession.
“But really,” she continues, her tone growing more serious, “let me ask you this. You know the power and the influence this family has. You know our husbands are some of the most well-informed men in this city.”
I nod.
“Do you really think Nicoli doesn’t know?”
“What are you saying?”
She levels me with her intense gaze, shifting to the edge of her seat. “I’m saying that after being a part of this family for only a short while, I know not to underestimate the Del Rossa men. To never think I have the upper hand. You’ve been in this family since you were four, Mirabella. Do you seriously think you can do something behind Nicoli’s back? Without him knowing? Every time you leave this house to go meet with the bride, you think Nicoli doesn’t know where you’re going?”
“Why would he?”
“You’re his wife,” she states. “These men love with a blinding passion, Mira, and you’re the one person Nicoli loves more than anyone in this entire world. You think he wouldn’t know your every move, exactly where you are every minute of every day, or what you’re busy with?”
“I fail to see—”
“Alexius locked me in a room for weeks to keep me from leaving. He would rather risk me living here and hating him than not living here at all. So, you tell me how far you think Nicoli is willing to go to keep you, to make sure you’re safe.”
I’m silent for a moment, digesting her words. I hadn’t thought about it in those terms before. “I suppose you’re right,” I murmur, my voice barely audible. “My God,” I sigh. “Perhaps I’ve been so wrapped up in this project I convinced myself it’ll be easy to hide from him.”
“Perhaps. Or maybe it’s just because you really want this that much. Everything in life has its pros and cons, Mira. You and I live the life most can only dream of with a list of pros a thousand pages long. But there are cons, too. Unfortunately, the freedom to do what we want is one of them.” She gets up, her amber eyes filled with so much wisdom, it’s hard to think she’s a newly added member of this family. “But I don’t see it as a con. I see it as a sacrifice—a sacrifice for the man I love.”
I sit quietly for a moment, absorbing what she’s said when she walks to the door. “We’re lucky, Mira. We found love in this wildly fucked-up world. Not a lot of people get to say that in their lifetime. We should cherish it. Do whatever we must to keep it, no matter the sacrifice.”
“Thank you,” I tell her with sincerity, but just as she’s about to leave, I call after her, “How did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Adjust so fast, so easily to the world of the Dark Sovereign?” I ask with mild amusement.
The smile on her face reaches her eyes that stare almost dreamily over my shoulder. “Someone once told me that the world is unraveling.” She shrugs. “So we might as well unravel with it.”
I watch her go, my mind lost in thought. I envy her confidence and how she seems to know exactly which way to turn. She follows a clear path within this family, navigating her way with elegance, not as if she was made for this world, but as if this world has been made for her. I’ve been here all my life, and I still struggle with it sometimes. The secrecy. The ever-present danger lurking around every corner. The temptation that constantly surrounds our husbands. Yet here she is, thriving. And here I am lying to my husband—or at least, I think I am.
The familiar low rumbling hum of a car engine breaks the stillness, tires crushing gravel. I close my eyes, knowing it’s Nicoli who just pulled up in front of the house. I’ll recognize the purr of his Bugatti anywhere, so I stand and glance out the window. The sleek curves and glossy red paint make that car one sexy number. Even from here, I can see the leather seats glinting in the dusk sunlight.
I’m back in my chair by the time I hear him slam his car door. My first instinct is to dash out of my office and avoid him coming here to look for me. My office is covered with evidence of my deception, but as Leandra had pointed out, maybe it wasn’t him I was deceiving. I was fooling myself. So, I wait, staring at my phone, expecting his text. He always texts me when he arrives because he doesn’t have the patience to search through this house for me. And right on cue, his text flashes on my mobile screen.
“Where are you?”
I take a deep breath.
“In my office.”
The next few moments are a flurry of emotions as I prepare for what is to come. I have no idea what to expect, but while I sit there, I realize that Leandra might be right. I am addicted to the thrill. I have a dark desire for the unknown.
