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Faking with Benefits: Twitter (2)


Saffy @SaffronJamesModel 

I just got a prototype of @HerTreatLayla’s new ‘butterfly’ undie set. Girls. This is a GAME CHANGER

Buzz Tone Podcasts @Buzz_Tone_Media

@ThreeSingleGuys just hit the UK Comedy charts! If you haven’t heard the latest episode, download it NOW!

Ellen Smith @bougie_beautie_ellen

I hate @HerTreatLayla. She’s rude and bitchy, and her clothes look tacky as hell #getheroff

Hattie Clarke @zack_harding_fan

@ThreeSingleGuysPodcast I’m getting really sick of hearing the new girl on the show. She has such an annoying voice omfg 

George Kiely @georgiotheman

@ThreeSingleGuysPodcast Isn’t this podcast supposed to be male advice? I’m not a misogynist, but if I wanted to hear a woman nagging me about relationships, I’d speak to my mom. Unsubscribing. 

•••

From: [email protected]

To [email protected]

Subject: Welcome Back Alumnis!! 

Dear alumni,

It is with great pride that we invite you to join us at the class of 2011 Emery High School ten-year reunion. Put on your glad rags and come to reminisce, renew old friendships, and see all of the faces you’ve missed over the last decade! 

Attire – formal. Location – Emery High Gymnasium. Entrance fee – £20. Partners welcome.


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