Eleven hours. That is how long he had been sitting by my bedside. Nine o’clock that morning was when I woke up with him beside me and by eight at night he still had not moved.
After I fell asleep that morning, he moved a chair to the side of my bed and he had not left since. Not once did he even move in his seat.
Stone was still motionless in his seat as he continued to watch me type harshly on my laptop. Over the hours, it started to feel like a game between us. I would not move and he would not either.
To avoid his fixed stare, I decided to get out my laptop and continue writing the book that I had started a year ago. I had been hitting my keyboard all day and going at a supersonic speed to distract myself from him.
I stole another glance to the side, and I could see that he was still watching me. I let out a deep breath before I focused my attention back on my work in progress of a book.
I had written twenty thousand words in the space of the few hours, and I was at least quarter of the way finished to completing the whole book.
We had not talked since the morning. Not since our disagreement. He was making everything too hard. He was not leaving and all I wanted to do was talk to him and have his arms around me.
Just as I was about to give up and say something, a knock at the door stopped me.
I sat forward and crossed my legs while placing my laptop to the side as Mrs Lewis and another male walked into the room.
The middle-aged man that I did not recognise walked up to the bottom of the bed and read the chart while introducing himself to me ‘I am Dr Gus. It is nice to meet you, Miss Miller.’
‘It is nice to meet you too.’ I smiled before letting out a small laugh ‘Even if I really do not want to be here.’
At my remark, Dr Gus let out small laugh before he got serious ‘Your results from your scan and blood test are back and everything looks normal. There is nothing that looks concerning. You are an extremely lucky girl given the severity of your crash.’
Lucky was the last thing I felt.
The doctor continued ‘All of the cuts on your body should heal over time. Some of them might leave a slight mark but I doubt they will be noticeable.’
I let out a sigh of relief ‘So I will not always look like the bride of Frankenstein?’
A low grunt of disapproval from my side reminded me that Stone was listening also. The deep sound that he made indicated that he did not find my warped sense of humour amusing.
Putting down my medical chart, Dr Gus smiled kindly at the unmoving stubborn giant next to me before he spoke ‘This must be your boyfriend. A committed one at that. He has been making my staff run away in fear for their lives all day for three days now.’
‘He is my…’ I stopped and let out a breath ‘He is my ex.’
It pained me to say but I hoped that my words would make him leave. I needed him gone so I could try to hurt less.
Stone’s head hung low beside me. He looked devastated as he grumbled unhappily under his breath ‘Ex?’
I could not meet his eye, so I turned back to the doctor and Mrs Lewis who both looked unconvinced at my title for him.
‘We are going to keep you under observation tonight.’ Dr Gus spoke ‘It is late, and you need rest. Just tonight and then you can leave tomorrow morning.’
If my legs did not feel like they were numb, then I might have jumped up and down in joy. I had only been concisely aware one day and it was enough for me to want to pull my hair out.
I nodded his way ‘Thank you, doctor.’
‘Do you have any more questions?’
‘Yeah.’ I tried to see the humour in a horrible situation ‘Why is hospital food so bad? Do you purposefully make it that way so you can get patients to discharge themselves faster and you can have more vacant beds?’
‘You might be onto something there.’ Dr Gus walked to the door before calling over his shoulder as he left ‘I wish you a speedy recovery, Miss Miller.’
The doctor left but Mrs Lewis remained at the doorway, and she was shifting where she was standing.
‘Mrs Lewis, are you okay?’
She took a step forward and answered but not before glancing at Stone ‘Your father’s insurance and will was set up in the company that my husband works for. He has a few things to discuss with you but if you do not feel up to it today then that is perfectly okay. We will take this at your pace.’
The truth was that I really did not want to talk about everything. I did not want to think about the consequences of my father’s death. I then changed my mind and decided that it would be better to get it over and done with.
‘Is Mr Lewis outside?’ I asked.
‘He is.’ She replied.
Stone leaned forward in his seat by my bedside. He grabbed my hand and intertwined it with his own.
‘Ella, you do not need to think about this now.’ He told me gruffly.
I did not meet his eyes, but I answered him ‘I will be fine. I would rather get everything sorted.’
Mrs Lewis nodded understandingly and then left the room to fetch her husband.
A squeeze at my hand and Stone moved so he was closer to my face.
‘Please Ella.’ He begged in his deep voice as he closed his eyes for a split second.
I felt my chest clench as he said it. I had the urge to reach out to him, but I fought against it.
‘Please what?’ I asked as I subconsciously squeezed his hand back.
‘You are not okay. You just lost your father. I hate that you feel you have to pretend that you are fine. I hate that you are not speaking to me.’ He scrubbed his large hands over his face as his tone went deeper ‘It is killing me, Medusa.’
‘I am okay.’ I lied to him as I tried to pull my hand away.
He held on tighter, and he would not let go.
‘Stone.’ I let out softly ‘Go home.’
His voice came out hoarse ‘You are my home.’
All I could do was stare at nothing in particular. Anything that was not him. I gripped the metal sidebar that was lifted on the left side of the bed.
If I looked at him then I would only jump into his arms and never leave.
‘You are making this impossible.’ I muttered.
‘Good.’ He stated determinedly ‘I am not leaving you.’
I decided to take a harsher approach ‘Hospitals really should have security so unwanted visitors can be removed. Cops should be stationed outside this place to get rid of insistent annoying pain in the ass giants.’
He stood abruptly and paced the room. He never went any further than a metre away though. His movements were as if he was protecting my small space like a guard dog.
His dark eyes captivated mine and never left as he spoke tyrannically ‘Do you really think some fucking security guard or cop is going to get me to move? Do you think anything is strong enough to make me leave your side?’
Stone towered me. He towered everyone but it was not just his height that made him look intimidating and unconquerable. It was also his whole frame. The wide shoulders and the overall mountain of muscle contributed too.
I huffed out a reply because the question itself was rhetorical “No. I don’t.’
Mr Lewis’ arrival interrupted whatever Stone was about to say. The man walked in holding a brown leather briefcase. Apart from that, he did not look like a layer on duty. His clothes were casual and the ones I had seen him in before.
‘It is great to see you, Ella. Of course, not under these circumstances.’ Mr Lewis greeted me ‘I am so sorry about your loss.’
‘Thank you.’ I said quietly.
The man then turned to address Stone by handing him a piece of paper ‘This is the number of somebody you need to call.’
Stone shook his head ‘I am not leaving her.’
Mr Lewis argued, ‘You need to call the number.’
I sent Stone a small encouraging nod ‘Go.’
His jaw ticked and he still looked unwilling to move.
After thirty seconds of what appeared like telepathically communicating with Mr Lewis, Stone nodded before standing up and walking to the door.
Before he left, the large man turned around and met my eye ‘I am outside. I am not going anywhere.’
Mr Lewis took the now empty seat by my bedside and put his briefcase on his lap as Stone left the room.
The man was close enough that I could see his friendly features and his grey moustache contrasting his dark skin perfectly. I could see how similar he was to Brennan, only older.
He smiled sympathy ‘How are you feeling?’
My lip moved up and I let out a strained laugh ‘Like I have been in a car accident.’
Understanding that I was just trying to make light of the situation, he let out a small chuckle before opening the briefcase ‘Ella, if you are not up for this then please say so.’
‘I am fine, Mr Lewis.’
He waved me off ‘Please. Call me Baron. You are family.’
‘You are worse than your wife.’ I pointed out while giggling.
Then my laughing ceased when I suddenly reminded myself that he was not family. I was not planning to be close to his family or the guy outside my room and there was no humour in that.
Mr Lewis took out a couple of pieces of paper and read from the page ‘Drizella Anastasia Miller.’
‘My father is not getting into heaven or whatever place the good souls go to.’ I deadpanned ‘What kind of decent human being would allow their child to be named Drizella Anastasia?’
‘I think your name is lovely.’ The man argued before skim-reading over the first document in his pile ‘As you are probably aware, your father when he passed away did not have a dollar to his name.’
Rubbing my hands over my face, I sat forward more ‘I guessed that.’
‘His account was declared bankrupt two months ago after paying your monthly rent fee.’
‘That can’t be right.’ I inputted with a frown ‘I received a letter last month conforming that everything had been paid.’
The expression on Mr Lewis’ face turned sheepish.
He replied wearily while looking down at his documents ‘The expenses were paid from another account. Also, all future expenses of your apartment are to be charged from the same account.’
‘Can I see the sheet?’ I questioned, curious to see if he was mistaken.
The man handed over the single piece of paper hesitantly. I skipped past the part that seemed unimportant and that was filled with money terms. I slowed down at the part where it read transactions.
The name that was printed in bold made my breath hitch.
When I stayed silent, Mr Lewis started flapping another document around in the air before swiftly moving on ‘All your home finances are paid. There was nothing to be concerned about paying back until the accident.’
‘My medical bill is huge.’ I stated the obvious.
Mr Lewis nodded ‘It was. All your health care expenses have also been taken care of.’
My lip quivered when I asked, ‘Can I see that sheet?’
He handed over the next piece of paper. I skipped to the bottom where the name of the person that had paid for everything was written. I put my hand over my mouth in shock as I read the same name as last time.
One lone tear fell onto the sheet and hit directly onto the two words Valentine Stone.
I handed both bits of paper back to him and tilted my head ‘Does this not bother you?’
‘What do you mean, dear?’
‘Stone has paid for everything. He has spent a huge amount of money and—’
A hand on my shoulder stopped me from continuing.
‘He would do anything for you.’ Mr Lewis spoke, ‘I think that if you asked him for the moon then he would find a way to fight against nature itself to give it to you.’
My intake of breath was so loud that it would have surprised me if Stone had heard it.
‘Plus, that boy makes too much money on his fights anyway.’ Mr Lewis added.
‘I am going to pay him back.’ I assured.
The man chuckled ‘He will not let you.’
‘Is there anything else I should know?’ I asked while looking at the other paper in the pile.
‘No. That is all I have for the moment except arrangements for the funeral.’ He responded before enquiring ‘This is an awful thing to ask for you to think about, but do you have any ideas what you would like for a funeral?’
‘I had not really thought about it.’ I said aloud but more to myself.
I had not been thinking at all. I did not want to. That is why I spent hours writing my book.
After concluding the obvious, I eventually gave him an answer ‘I do not have any family. Just some distant cousins in Louisiana. My father lost all his friends when he lost my mother and his job. There is only really me so it will be something small.’
Mr Lewis nodded before moving on ‘Lastly, I do not think anyone from social services will visit. Usually under these circumstances they would put you into foster care but you are eighteen and legally an adult.’
A knock at the door and then Brennan walked in with a frantic facial expression ‘Dad, the guy on the phone wants to speak with you.’
Turning around to face his son, Mr Lewis sorted his files before closing his briefcase and making his way to the door.
The older man turned around at the door and gave me a last wave ‘I will see you soon, Ella.’
Brennan hurried across the room. Before I could consider what he was about to do, he sat on my bed and threw his arms around as he enveloped me in a tight hug.
I put my arms around him instantly and tried to bite down my hiss at the pain.
‘Shit!’ He jumped back but remained seated on the bed ‘Sorry. I did not mean to hurt you. I have just been so worried.’
I smiled and for the first time that day, it was a genuine one.
‘It is okay.’ I reassured, ‘I would take that hug over the pain any day of the week.’
He tilted his head while having a quick once-over at my condition ‘How are you?’
‘I am fine.’ I told him before asking ‘So what brings you here?’
‘What brings me here?’ He replied while narrowing his eyes, but his soft smile remained as he spoke ‘I am here because you are my Little Ella. You are like my little sister, and I love you. I believe without Lana or even without Stone, we would still be best friends.’
‘I love you too, Lover Boy.’
Brennan stayed quiet for a while before he let out a chuckle ‘You gave it hard to Stone on the beach. I wish I could throw a shoe at him and not face any repercussions.’
I felt like I had to justify myself ‘I was just so upset, and I felt like I had been kept in the dark. He had so many opportunities to tell me. I had to hear everything from Chase. I wanted to hear it from him. I wanted Stone to explain it to me.’
He nodded like he understood.
‘You were there that day at the locker when Chase and I were arguing. He was laughing at me and trying to insinuate that Stone was sneaking off to see some other girl.’ I explained ‘No doubt you told Stone everything that happened between Chase and I. So why did Stone not tell me then?’
‘What would the reality be of that being the truth?’ Brennan countered back with ‘Stone would never even think about another girl.’
I kept quiet and played with my hospital gown neckline.
‘I do not think that moody fuck ever stops thinking about you. Period.’ He added.
‘I know he would not cheat but I am just saying that he could have told me the truth.’
‘I think he is ashamed.’ Brennan confessed, ‘He probably did not want to risk losing you or for you to see him losing control on his anger like that. He tries really hard to be better for you.’
‘Never once did I think Stone was Mother Theresa.’ I used humour to push my feelings down ‘It does not matter anyway. We just are not meant to be.’
‘What?’ Brennan blabbered like he was in shock.
Twirling my hair on my finger, I explained ‘I have only seen him fight once but he is good. That much is obvious from what I have seen and from the talk around school. This Litora Bello can be something big and he can go far. I know he can.’
‘Then what is the problem?’
‘He can’t go far while I am in the picture.’ I stated before I elaborated ‘I am a distraction. I could see the underlying message when Reed said about how he missed fights for me. He does not need me holding him back. He deserves better.’
Brennan’s mouth parted in shock then he closed it in contemplation before he explained his view.
‘I have to go to school until graduation. A year ago, I applied to this course to get a qualification so I could teach surfing. They told me that I needed to have graduated.’ Brennan told me before he added ‘Stone has no reason to be at Leavendale. He is twenty-one. He has no reason to be at school except from his own agenda.’
I cocked my head and listened intently.
‘I liked Lana the night I met her, but I did not see it going anywhere.’ He admitted before telling me ‘It was Stone that kept insisting for me to get to know her better even though he had never been the slightest bit interested in my love life beforehand.’
I stammered over my words ‘Are you trying to say that…?’
‘That he attends school only to see you? That he connived and convinced me to date Lana so he could get closer to you? That he loved you the moment he saw you?’ Brennan spoke before he said ‘Yes.’
All I wanted to do was erase the last few minutes and the precious conversation. All my mind was doing was repeating his words over and over again. I wanted to go to Stone.
After a few minutes of silence, I finally spoke up and changed the subject ‘Do you love Lana?’
Brennan shook his head ‘I wish that I did.’
‘If I was able then I would kick your ass for leading her on.’ I threatened while glaring at him.
‘I did want to love her.’ He sighed before he confessed, ‘The truth is that I never really got over my first love.’
‘Your first love?’ I uttered quietly.
He nodded, the veins in his neck bulging.
‘What happened?’ I questioned.
‘I am obsessed with her.’ He let out lowly like it caused him pain to say ‘And she hates my fucking guts.’
I wanted to know more. I wanted to ask who it was. I wanted to shout at him for hurting Lana.
I kept quiet.
‘I better go.’ He smiled sadly and avoided talking about the topic more.
He moved closer and I leaned forward so he could kiss my forehead. His lips were about to touch my head when a noise stopped him.
It almost sounded like a bear or a lion. It was feral anyway and it was coming from the guy taking up the whole space of the doorway.
Moving back instantly with hands held up in surrender, Brennan defended himself ‘You just missed my massive speech about her being like my little sister.’
Stone stayed glued to his spot at the door when Brennan walked to him. They exchanged a few quiet words before Brennan took off down the hospital corridor.
The giant returned to his chair by my side.
I put my hands on the bed and tried to manoeuvre myself so I could lie back onto the pillow. A jolt of pain made its way from the bottom of my spine right up to the top and I shifted while involuntary letting out a noise at the discomfort. I attempted to go slower and eased into a better position, but I could not help but wince.
As soon as I did relax into the pillow, a hard shaky breath filled the room.
The deep ragged breaths caught my attention and I looked to my right and what I saw made my heartbreak.
He was in the chair that was far too small for him. His elbows were set firmly on his knees and his forehead resting on his large palms. His wide shoulders were shaking as he took large, ragged breaths.
Stone was crying.
I was taken aback at the scene in front of me. I could not believe it. Stone was not one for showing his emotions. He never showed anything on his face or in his behaviour. That was what led to people believing that he lacked feeling but there he was crying.
My stomach dropped and tears started to form in my eyes. I could not take the sight of him hurt. I pulled the blanket that was covering my body off and I moved to get up, not caring about the pain or anything else but him.
I stood in front of him, but he did not look up at me. He only moved his hands to my waist and buried his face into my stomach as his shoulders shook again.
‘Stone.’ I whispered as I moved my hands to his hair.
His eyes were bloodshot as he eventually met my eye.
‘You need to get back into bed.’ He spoke, his voice gentle yet strict.
I did not move.
He stood up with intent. He wrapped one large arm around my waist before he hoisted me up gently and carried me back to the bed. He was touching my waist and my arm like I was made of glass and one small move would shatter me.
I managed to bring my legs back into the covers then I moved over slowly until there was enough room for him.
Once I had stopped moving, he settled onto the bed and put his shoulder behind my back so I could curl up into him. My head rested on his bulky shoulder while my leg found sanctuary over his. His hand reached out and pulled the blanket to cover me up again.
My hand wandered up and rested on his chest as his heart moved erratically. He took more deep unsteady breaths. He then buried his head in my hair and that seemed to calm him down slightly.
I listened to him breathe and that was all I needed to feel safe. I needed him. It was selfish but I trapped the small moment in time and wrapped myself in it. I wrapped myself in him.
Wiping my tears away, I kept my cheek remaining pressed on him as I looked up at him and whispered, ‘Are you okay?’
His lips went to my hair as he kissed my head ‘No. You are hurt and I cannot handle it.’
‘I am sorry.’
‘It is not your fault.’ He declared ‘It is mine.’
‘What do you mean?’ I asked while lifting my head and frowning at him ‘None of this is your fault.’
Stone whispered against my skin ‘I should have been there. If I was there, then none of this would have happened.’
I shook my head so hard that a tear flew horizontally off my cheek ‘This is not your fault.’
He breathed out harshly only one word ‘Ella.’
My head fell back onto him again and I hugged him tighter. As tight as my body would allow me to. I buried my face into his shirt and inhaled the smell of leather and engine grease.
He pressed another kiss to my head as he cupped my face and pulled my head back so my eyes would meet his.
The black irises looked dull and broken and the sight brought another set of tears to my face.
His thumb caught every single one of my tears as he rasped out ‘Tell me about him.’
I knew who he meant. He meant the other person apart from him that I had tried not to think about the whole day.
I thought back to all the things I loved about my father. There were no more new memories to be made. I could only resurface the old ones.
Gathering composure, I reminisced ‘My dad was a really calm and relaxed person. Quite serious sometimes. The totally opposite of my mother and me. There was only really two times that he got annoyed by something and even then, he still found the good in every situation.’
Stone smiled at me, and I managed a smile back.
‘He took me along to his work colleagues annual quiz night. I sat there and tried to answer as many questions as possible and when we won, I ran around the room and shouted boo-ya into my dad’s boss’ face.’ I laughed at the memory ‘My dad tried to act angry at me, but he found it really funny. I went every year with him after that.’
His attention never withered once ‘What was the other time?’
‘I was eight and it was Christmas. I had opened all of my presents which cost a lot of money, but I never looked twice at them.’ I let out a half-laugh, half cry ‘I was more interested in the cardboard boxes that they all had come in. I sat inside one of them and pretended that I was in some kind of space shuttle. My father tried to get me to play with my real presents. He pretended to cry about how I did not like my presents from him, so I was guilt tripped into leaving the boxes alone. I spent all Christmas Day with my new toys to make him less upset. He was lying because while I was distracted, he gathered the boxes and glued them together and painted it so it looked like a cockpit with a window looking out to a galaxy. It was one of the best presents and Christmases I had ever had.’
He wiped more of my tears away as he admitted ‘Ella, I have met your father.’
I looked up in surprise and then tilted my head in confusion ‘When?’
‘It was only one time. I did not know who he was then.’ Stone explained ‘He betted on Litora Bello a lot. He was at the beach almost every night. He approached me once.’
‘Drunk?’
A small nod and then he continued ‘Your dad said I was his favourite fighter and that he always had his money on me.’
‘I have only seen you fight for thirty seconds but I think he was right to.’ I agreed.
Stone chuckled humourlessly ‘I do not think I would be his favourite choice of guy for his daughter.’
He placed a finger under my chin and tilted it upwards more.
‘I wish that I could have met him properly.’ He spoke ‘I would have convinced him to see me as the best option for you. I would have told him that you are always going to be safe and loved because I will make sure of it.’
My stomach dropped. I tore my gaze away from him and my chest shook. I raised my head slightly so my lungs could still receive oxygen. Dying would probably hurt less than a broken heart.
‘I can’t do this with you.’ I cried while staring down at my hair and fiddling with the messy strands ‘I can’t do this to you.’
His voice went back to the usual strong and deep sound when his grip on me tightened. He pulled me further into his chest as he spoke his words like they were inevitable ‘You are not going anywhere.’
‘I can’t—’
‘You are lying.’ He growled, ‘I can see right through you.’
I cursed him for being right as I let go of my hair. It was a dead giveaway that I wanted him to never let me go.
‘Why?’ He pleaded, his deep voice demeaning ‘Why are you doing this?’
I avoided looking at him ‘I told you earlier.’
‘No.’
‘No?’ I repeated.
There was no further response on his end. He gently moved me, so I was lying on top of him and so that his arms were surrounding and protecting me.
My face rested on his chest and my words were muffled by his shirt ‘I do not know how to do this.’
‘How to do what?’
‘I do not know how to say goodbye to you.’ I admitted.
He snarled ‘You are not.’
Ignores his statement, I asked nicely ‘Can you leave before I wake up, so I don’t have to say goodbye?’
‘No.’ He growled again ‘I will fight for you. I am good at fighting.’
I bit back a laugh at his neanderthal behaviour before I uttered ‘Stubborn ass.’
His touch was so gentle, but his voice was harsh as he stated, ‘The only person being stubborn is you.’
I huffed ‘Are you really not going to leave?’
‘Never.’
‘Now I know what Edgar Allan Poe was feeling when he wrote The Raven.’ I voiced as I felt my eyes shut ‘I can understand what he was trying to say about the persistent unmoving presence.’
The last thing I heard was his rough voice ‘It is your favourite poem so you should know how it ends.’
I did know how it ended.
The raven stayed.
