“This wasn’t the first time, Nash.” The words echoed in my head, over and over on a horrific loop. That asshole had hurt Maddie. And just like before, I hadn’t been there to protect her.
I held her tighter against me, careful of her tender ribs. “It wasn’t your fault.” I would tell her that as often as it took until she finally heard me.
Sobs wracked Maddie’s body. “I never wanted to be this person—someone who let another person hurt me and just took it.”
My chest cracked at her words, the self-hatred in them and the shame. “Maddie…”
Another of her sobs cut me off, and I knew she wouldn’t hear me now. All I could do was hold her. Tell her with my body that she wasn’t alone and never would be. That I had her.
The heaving cries came faster at first, ricocheting around her body like a violent storm. I just held on. Nothing in this world could make me let go.
I didn’t know how long we sat there with Maddie curled in my lap, my arms encircling her. Eventually, the sobs slowed, turning to shuddering breaths before stilling altogether. I still didn’t let go.
Maddie’s breathing evened out, deepening in a way that told me sleep had claimed her. Carefully, I stood, heading in the direction of the hallway. I poked my head into room after room until I found the only one with a bed.
Maddie needed sleep right now. Rest so she could heal—both her body and her mind. I laid her gently on the mattress. The moment I withdrew my hands, a soft whimper escaped her lips.
My teeth ground together as I hurried around the bed, kicking off my shoes. I lowered myself to the bed and curved my body around hers, the way I had so many times before. The moment I pulled her into my arms, the whimpers stopped.
I let out a breath, the one my lungs had held hostage since that first sound of distress had passed Maddie’s lips. Her breaths evened out again, growing deeper. I listened to the ins and outs, hoping it would soothe the monster inside me. But it wasn’t enough.
Everything in me burned. I felt raw and ravaged. Blazed by guilt.
It was all too familiar. Too horribly familiar. Because I hadn’t been there. Again.
My sneakers squeaked on the linoleum floor as my dad and I walked down the hospital corridor. It was quiet. Too quiet. Only the sounds of my shoes, the muted voices, and the occasional beep of a machine filled the air.
Each step seemed to twist my stomach tighter, like the rope swing in my backyard when one of my brothers tried to make us puke by winding it tight before letting go to spin one of us around.
My dad’s steps slowed, coming to a stop outside a closed door. His gaze met mine, our eyes almost even now. His hand landed on my shoulder. “You okay?”
I nodded but knew the action was a lie. My dad could probably tell, too. He always could.
I hadn’t been right since my mom took the call. We’d all been at the dinner table, and she’d gotten up to answer the house phone when it rang. I’d never forget how the blood had drained from her face, her hands shaking.
Dad had been on his feet and at her side in a flash, and all my siblings and I had gone deathly silent. But when her lips formed two words, a part of me had died. “It’s Maddie.”
My father had taken the phone, getting all the information from his friend at the police station. I hadn’t moved an inch while they talked. But I’d wanted to run when Dad crossed to me. Wanted to escape whatever nightmare he was about to tell me.
But it was worse than a nightmare. It was a living, breathing terror.
Dad squeezed my shoulder again, bringing my focus back to him and away from the memory of the night before. “Maddie isn’t gonna look like she normally does.”
He was talking to me like I was eight, not twelve. “I know.”
“You just have to remember that the doctors are helping her. She’s going to be just fine.”
My fingers tapped against my thigh in a rapid rhythm. “Can I go in now?”
Mads needed me. It didn’t matter how I felt about any of it.
My dad nodded and stepped aside. “I’ll be here if you need me.”
He always was. Because my dad was nothing like Maddie’s father. And that just made me hate myself a little more. “Thanks,” I mumbled.
Moving toward the door, I pushed it open. The lights in the room were low, just bright enough that you could see to use the machines or get where you needed to go, but no more. I started toward the bed, but my steps faltered. The sight in front of me froze me to the spot.
Maddie. My Mads. But it wasn’t her. The face that was always glowing was sickly pale now. And that only made the marks marring it stand out more. Her right eye was swollen shut, already turning colors, and a thick bandage wrapped her head.
Bile surged up into my throat as I stared at the girl I’d loved every day since kindergarten. The kindest person I’d ever known. And someone who was supposed to love her the most had hurt her.
“Nash?” Maddie croaked.
Her voice catapulted me out of my frozen state. I hurried toward her bed, sliding into the chair next to it. A cast covered one of her arms, and the other had an IV and an oxygen monitor. But I needed to touch her, show her I was there.
So, I laid a palm on her forearm instead of her hand where the wires were. “Mads. Why didn’t you tell me?”
I would’ve killed him. I didn’t care what it would’ve taken or the price I would have had to pay. I would’ve ended her father and not thought twice about it.
Tears filled Maddie’s eyes. “I didn’t want anyone to know.”
I needed to hold her. Never let her go. But I knew that would only cause her pain.
“He’s gonna pay,” I growled.
She swallowed hard. “My mom’s so mad.”
“Your mom’s a piece of shit.” Because that woman must have known what was happening—the hell her daughter was in. And she’d done nothing. I’d never liked Maddie’s mom. She’d always been just a little bit mean and never took care of Maddie like my parents took care of me. But I’d never expected this.
Tears slid down her cheeks. “Not everyone’s as lucky as you. Not everyone has a family that loves them.”
My heart thudded in my chest, each beat driving the cracks deeper and deeper. “I’m your family now. I love you, Mads. And you’ll always have me. Always.”
Maddie let out a low moan, pulling me from the memories taunting me. The sound was one of distress and pain. The way she twisted in her sleep told me her ribs were killing her. And yet she’d driven all the way from Atlanta. Alone. She’d spent days cleaning this disaster of a cabin. That knowledge twisted guilt deeper into my gut.
I brushed her inky strands away from her face, and the contorting of her features eased a fraction. Her breaths became even again, and her muscles relaxed. Reaching between us, I pulled my phone out of my front pocket.
ME
You got time for a patient this evening? I’ll owe you one.
There was nothing for almost a minute, and then a text came through.
DOC
You owe me more favors than you’ll ever be able to repay in a lifetime.
ME
I can fix your parking tickets.
DOC
I don’t have any parking tickets.
ME
Please…
DOC
Fine. Come to the office in half an hour. Did you get another concussion? Road rash from a motorcycle spill?
ME
Thank you. It’s actually not for me. It’s for a friend. Go easy on her when you meet her. She’s been through a lot.
Three little dots appeared, then disappeared, then reappeared. Finally, a text came through.
DOC
Of course. Do I need a heads-up about anything?
I chewed on the inside of my lip as I stared at the screen. It felt like a betrayal to talk about Maddie without her permission, but I wanted Doc to have all the information she needed.
ME
Abusive ex. Her ribs are pretty banged up.
DOC
I’m sorry. Bring her in, and I’ll help in any way I can.
ME
Thanks. See you in a bit.
Doc was a good egg. She’d come in late nights and weekends when I hurt myself doing God knew what. She cared about the people of this town and always went above and beyond. I knew she’d get Maddie on the path to healing.
I let Maddie sleep for another fifteen minutes, tracing her breaths with my gaze and watching each rise and fall of her chest. I’d done the same thing when we were twelve, and she was in the hospital. My parents hadn’t been able to get me to go home for days. I’d sat in that hospital chair just watching her breathe, assuring myself that she was alive. Finally, a nurse had brought in a cot for me so I could get some rest, too. But I often woke in a panic, needing to see Maddie breathing.
I rubbed a hand up and down Maddie’s arm. “Time to wake up, Mads.”
She stirred, shifting in her sleep. “Mmm.”
My lips curved the barest amount. She’d always been hard to rouse—deep-sleeper through and through. At least when she was with me.
“We gotta get going.”
Maddie shifted again, this time rolling to her back. She blinked a few times before her eyes focused on my face. “Hi.”
I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “How do you feel?”
Her gaze dropped. “Tired. Embarrassed.”
My hand cupped her cheek. “Hey, it’s me. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“I’m sorry I lost it on you.”
My thumb stroked over her smooth skin, rosy from sleep. “You’ve been through hell. The need to let all that go once you’re safe is natural.”
Her eyes lifted to mine again. “I hate how weak I’ve been.”
“The last thing you are is weak. You got out. You’re here. You did the hardest thing and got away. Now, we’re gonna get you fixed up so you can start healing.”
Maddie’s brow furrowed.
“I made an appointment for you at the clinic. We got a new doctor last year, and she’s great.”
Maddie shook her head. “It’s just bruised ribs. I’ll be fine. I don’t want to go anywhere.”
Because then she’d have to answer questions. My hand trailed down her jaw to the back of her neck, and I squeezed gently. “We need to be sure. You could have broken ribs or something else. You need to get checked out.”
“I can’t, Nash. I can’t talk about this to anyone else. It’s hard enough that you know.”
“Please. For me.” I pressed my forehead to hers. “I can’t have anything happen to you.”
Maddie released a breath, the fight seeping out of her. “Okay, I’ll go.”
