Pulling on a pair of sweats and a tee, I breathed a sigh of relief. I was so damn glad to be free of that sling. I paused, listening. I could no longer hear muted voices coming from the living room. It had been a total copout to let Lawson be the one to bring Maddie up to speed, but I just didn’t have it in me to let her down again.
I’d seen the look of determination on Adam’s face. The twisted way he manipulated the truth. He wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. I dropped my duffel on the floor with a little more force than necessary.
I could only imagine how Adam had warped Maddie’s mind. He was good, I’d give him that. He knew exactly what buttons to push to get a reaction. And I’d walked straight into his trap.
Thank God Lawson had been there to pull me back from the edge. His words from our drive back into town echoed in my mind. “Tell her. Loving someone is always a risk, but you risk just as much by holding back.”
Something about that dug at me. I’d almost lost Maddie because I hadn’t told her how I felt. She’d ended up in Adam’s clutches, where I could’ve lost her for good.
The thought had a sickening wave of dread coursing through me. I had a full life—amazing friends, a crazy but loving family, a job that fulfilled me, and a comfortable home. But none of that was as sweet without Maddie in my orbit. She made everything better, even just the mundane routine of making breakfast or doing the dishes.
I shifted from foot to foot, trying to relieve some of the tension that had gathered in my muscles—as if my skin were too tight for my body and I needed to move. I grabbed my phone from the dresser and headed out into the hallway.
As I walked into the living room, my steps faltered. Maddie sat on the couch, her legs curled to her chest as she stared out the window. Her feet were bare, showing the pink polish on her toes. Even those tiny digits were adorable.
Hell, I was done for if I was noticing a woman’s toes. But it was more than that. Everything about Maddie pulled me in. Everything begged me to gaze a little longer. The way her midnight hair hung around her shoulders, making me itch to run my fingers through it. How her long lashes made me yearn to stare into those captivating blue eyes. The way her plump lips parted as if begging me to kiss her.
My hands fisted at my sides. Almost as though they’d move of their own free will if I didn’t restrain them. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself in check.
The flash of pain brought me back from the brink. I crossed to the couch and lowered myself next to her. Moving on instinct, I lifted her legs into my lap. “You okay?”
Maddie’s gaze shifted from the window to me. She studied me as if seeing me for the first time. “Are you?”
I stiffened. “Sure, why?” I was going to murder my brother and hide the body where no one would find him if he’d opened his big mouth.
“You barely said two words to me when you came in. And even now…” Her hand lifted, fingers ghosting under my eyes and making my skin come alive at her touch. “You have shadows here.”
I swallowed hard, trying to choose my words carefully. I didn’t lie to Maddie. Not ever. But I did omit. “I hate your ex.”
“You and me both.”
My fingers dug into her calves, massaging. “I almost lost it. Law had to pull me back.”
Maddie’s hands came to rest on top of mine. “You know that my safety isn’t your responsibility, right?”
I stiffened, my throat tightening. “You’re the person I care about most in this world. That means I’m gonna want to keep you safe.” Even if I’d failed at it time and time again.
Maddie moved closer, her hand lifting to my jaw and forcing my gaze to hers. “What happened to me isn’t your fault.”
My ribs constricted, making it hard to pull in a full breath. “Law talked to you.” I was going to kick his ass so hard for this. For a man so dead set against relationships, he certainly liked meddling in other people’s.
“He wanted me to know what you were carrying. I’m kicking myself for not seeing it sooner.” Her thumb stroked back and forth across the stubble on my jaw. “We were kids, Nash. I was scared out of my mind and didn’t want anyone to know what was happening because I was terrified it would somehow get worse.”
My hands tightened around her calves. “I was the person closest to you. I was old enough to know that something wasn’t right. But I didn’t want to see it. And you almost died.”
Each word was coated in razor blades and ripped from my throat, each one part of a brutal truth that had been haunting me for over a decade. My focus on fun and not taking anything too seriously had kept me from helping the person I loved the most.
“Nash.” Maddie’s tongue curled around my name with such tenderness it made my chest ache. “I almost died because a drunk asshole beat the crap out of me and pushed me down the stairs. Is it my fault for making him mad?”
“Hell, no,” I clipped.
“Is it my fault for not telling anyone when the abuse started?”
A muscle along my jaw ticked. “Of course, not.”
Maddie’s hand dropped to my shoulder and squeezed. “Then it isn’t your fault for not wanting to believe that a parent could hurt their child just because their life was miserable.”
“Mads…” I closed the distance between us, resting my forehead against hers. “I’ll never forget the image of you in that hospital bed. It haunts me like nothing else I’ve ever experienced. It rips at my insides every time it flashes in my mind. I can’t stand the thought of someone hurting you. And it happened again. And I wasn’t there.”
“You weren’t there because I wouldn’t let you be. Because I left and didn’t look back.”
My heart thudded against my ribs. Because I knew why. I’d pushed her away. Every time I took a girl on a date or brought a casual hook-up home. I’d been trying to tune out Maddie’s siren song. But her pull could never be drowned out. “Mads…”
Maddie’s hand curled around the back of my neck. “How do you feel about me?”
Everything in me locked. Not even a damn breath escaped my lungs. She’d never outright asked me before, likely too scared to hear the answer. “Mads, I…” There weren’t words. Because I didn’t lie to her. Ever.
“The truth. I think maybe if I hear it, even if it’s not what I want, it might help set us both free.”
Some part of me that I’d shoved down time and time again roared in protest at the idea of anyone else being with Maddie. I’d almost lost her twice now, I couldn’t do it again, even if that meant her riding off into the sunset with a guy a million times better than me.
My hands lifted, framing her face. Fear rattled every mental wall I’d constructed to keep Maddie at bay. To deny everything I’d ever felt for her. But I couldn’t resist her pull anymore.
“I’ve always loved you. Maybe even before I met you. I loved you when we were little kids and awkward pre-teens and when I finally realized what that emotion might mean. I loved you when we graduated high school and through college and every day since. Even when you were gone, the echoes of you still lived inside me, and I would play them over and over in my mind just so I wouldn’t lose the sound. I’ve loved you in every incarnation, and that will never end.”
Maddie stared at me, her lips parted on an inhale and her eyes shining. She didn’t say a word, and for a panicked moment, I wanted to take back every single word. But then Maddie’s mouth was on mine.
There was nothing uncertain about the move. No doubt or fear filled her. Maddie simply took, her tongue slipping between my lips and stroking my own.
I groaned at the first taste of her. There weren’t words to describe it. All I knew was that I could drown in it and die a happy man.
