God, she was beautiful. Even with her midnight hair tangled in a knot on the top of her head and covered in dust. My gut clenched. I’d missed Maddie like a limb—some intrinsic part of me I didn’t walk right without.
I’d choked on my coffee when Grae had called to tell me that Maddie was back. I hadn’t believed her. Never would’ve thought my best friend in the entire world would make plans to move cross-country back to our hometown without even bothering to text me.
Anger lit somewhere deep within me. What the hell had happened to us? We used to share almost everything. Somewhere along the line, things had shifted—not long after she moved to Atlanta to be with that douche canoe.
Her calls had slowed, and when I did get her on the phone, she got off quickly if he was around. But I’d still get glimpses of my Maddie. The one who’d laughed without holding anything back. The one who gave me hell when I needed it but always managed to have my back at the same time. It killed me that I knew she was holding herself back from me.
Then again, Maddie had always been good at keeping secrets. I had to ferret out the truth like an expert CIA interrogator. But I could almost always get it. Almost.
Typically, she held back because she thought whatever she was working through would be a bother. She never trusted that I wanted all of her—her joys and her burdens.
Maddie pushed stray black strands from her face. I’d always loved that hair. Raven-black. So dark it almost held a blue undertone, only magnified by piercing blue eyes that saw straight to my soul.
“Nash,” she croaked.
I didn’t move. Didn’t say a word. It was as if I couldn’t respond. Because how could the person I’d cared about most in this world not call?
Maddie fidgeted, tangling her fingers, telltale signs of anxiety sweeping through her.
That hint of nervousness broke my trance. I’d never been able to deal with her discomfort. My legs ate up the space between us as I strode toward her. Then, in one swift move, I hauled her into my arms.
Maddie tensed at first, and I almost let her go, but then all her muscles eased, and she melted into me. How many times had I held her like this? Hundreds? Thousands?
We’d been affectionate even in elementary school, holding hands and hugging. People around us thought it was weird, but it was just…us. The holding-hands thing had fallen away as we’d gotten older, but the hugging never had.
Maddie gave the best hugs. As if she could say everything she needed by that action alone. And I was always surprised by her strength. The ferocity of her hold.
My mouth ghosted over her hair. “Missed you.”
Maddie shuddered. “I missed you, too.”
I heard something in her voice. Something wrong. As if she were fighting to hold back a wave of emotion.
I loosened my hold so I could pull back, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. My gaze swept over her face. Maddie had always been fair, but her skin was too pale now. And dark circles rimmed her eyes.
My stomach knotted itself into an intricate tangle that wouldn’t be undone until I was sure she was okay. “What happened?”
That should’ve been my first thought, not bitterness at not being informed about Maddie’s return. I should’ve known that she wouldn’t take off and move across the country without a word if everything was peachy. And I hadn’t seen any sign of the douchebag.
“Nothing, I just—”
I narrowed my eyes. “Don’t bullshit me. We don’t do that, remember?”
Maddie’s eyes glistened, and those fathomless ocean depths filled with pain I would’ve done anything to take away. She stared out the window. “I messed up.”
I brushed the hair out of her face. “Then we’ll fix it.”
She let out a shuddering breath. “I already have—fixed it, I mean.”
“Gonna need a little more to go on, Mads.”
Her lips flickered, and something in me eased at the motion.
“You were right about Adam.”
My brow arched.
“He’s a douchebag.”
My gaze instantly went to her left hand. Her ring finger was bare. Relief swept through me fast and fiercely, an emotion I didn’t want to look at too closely. But denial was my constant companion when it came to Maddie.
I grinned at her. “Those damn loafers should’ve been your first clue. Tassels? Really?”
She choked on a laugh. “I should’ve listened to you.”
My smile widened. “I’m going to remind you of that the next time you fight me on something.”
Maddie rolled her eyes. “Of course, you will.”
I pulled her into my arms again, breathing deeply. Her scent—vanilla and a hint of peach—washed over me, and with it came a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in over two years. “Are you okay?”
A hint of tension wove through her muscles, but she nodded. “I am now.”
I pulled my SUV into an open spot near the packed trailhead. There were too many vehicles to count, which only meant one thing: I was late, and I’d never hear the end of it.
But there was nothing I could do about it now. I’d tossed and turned all night, images of Maddie taunting me. The shadows in her eyes. Every time I’d tried to ask about what had happened with the douchebag, she’d skillfully avoided the question. That was the thing about Maddie. She was a horrible liar but a master avoider.
I had no choice but to give her time. Maddie had always moved at the pace of her own invisible clock. All I could do was be there for her until she was ready to open up. So, I’d stayed. Helped her unpack her car and finish cleaning that filthy cabin.
I’d talked her ear off, catching her up on town gossip and updating her on my siblings’ lives. But I’d avoided anything heavy because of those damn shadows in her eyes.
My back teeth ground together. The asshole had probably cheated on her. He seemed like the type.
Switching off my engine, I climbed out of the driver’s seat and headed in my family’s direction. I had a love-hate relationship with search and rescue. Loved helping those in need while being out in nature. Loved the sense of purpose it brought while spending time with my family.
But there was a healthy dose of hate in there, too. The rules and regulations. The way it was so easy for others to compare me to my siblings. Grae, the tiny powerhouse, who had overcome so much to be out here with us. Holt, the prodigal son, who had returned to everyone’s joy and assumed the job of SAR team leader. Roan, the quiet stoic, who could track better than anyone I’d ever met. Lawson, the protective big brother, who took everyone’s well-being on his shoulders, both here and as leader of our police department.
Lines creased my father’s brow as I approached. “Everything okay?”
I scowled but instantly tried to wipe the expression off my face. Dad was just regaining his sea legs after recovering from a heart attack and a broken leg. He didn’t need my grief. “Overslept my alarm.”
Concern marred Grae’s typically warm features, but she didn’t say a word. She knew what it was like to be the focus of everyone’s overactive worry.
Lawson thumped me on the back. “I thought you’d be in a better mood since Maddie’s back.”
“He’s grouchy because she didn’t tell him that she was coming,” Holt filled in helpfully.
I sent a glare in his direction. “I’m not grouchy. What are you, five?”
Holt chuckled. “You certainly seemed in a mood when Wren and I ran into you yesterday.”
“I was surprised, that’s all.” I fought the urge to squirm. I hated this kind of attention. Wanted it anywhere but on my shoulders.
Grae looked at me thoughtfully. “I didn’t get to ask Maddie. Did Adam move back with her?”
I stiffened at the douchebag’s name. “No.”
Lawson let out a low whistle while Holt grinned. Roan’s brows rose, but that was the only reaction from my mostly silent brother.
A smile spread across Grae’s face. “So, the engagement’s off? Maddie’s single?”
“Don’t start, G,” I warned. My sister had been trying to play matchmaker with Maddie and me since we were in middle school.
“Come on, Nash. You two are perfect for each other. You basically speak a language only the two of you know. She’s the only one who can talk you out of your crazy antics. And you even like that same weird pizza.”
I frowned at my sister. “My pizza isn’t weird.”
“Every single topping?” She made a gagging noise.
“Not every topping. No anchovies.”
Grae sighed. “Same difference. You two are meant to be. This just proves it. Make a move already! If you don’t, someone else will scoop that girl up. Because she’s awesome.”
My gut twisted at the thought of Maddie moving away again. But I shoved it all down. “It’s not like that between us. Hell, I haven’t even seen her in two years.” Yet we’d instantly slipped back into that friendship that was unlike anything I’d ever experienced.
“Come on. Of course, it is. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other—”
“Quit it, G.” My voice came out more harshly than I’d intended, and Grae reared back.
“Okay, let’s all dial it back a notch,” Dad said with a lift of his hand. “Holt, you want to get this party started?”
My brother sent a worried look in my direction but nodded. “We’ve got twenty-four folks looking to qualify for this year’s SAR roster. They’ve all gone through orientation and outdoor school. Now, it’s time to see if they’ve learned what they should have. Nash, you want to run point on today’s exercises?”
My brows lifted in surprise. Leadership was not something my family looked to me for. Jokes? Sure. Snacks? Definitely. Running point on tryouts for SAR? No way in hell.
I cleared my throat. “Sure. Want to give us all a rundown on the prospectives?”
I’d been to the orientation meeting but not to outdoor school because I’d been on duty at the police station. That week of classes and training really started to reveal who would rise to the occasion and who wouldn’t.
Holt nodded. “A lot of folks will make it, no questions asked.” He inclined his head toward a childhood friend of ours standing across the parking lot with the other prospectives. “Chris is here to requalify after letting his membership lapse. I don’t think we’ll have any issues there, and it’ll be good for him to have something positive to focus on.”
What Holt didn’t say was that Chris needed that because his best friend had turned out to be a psychopath who had put Holt and his girlfriend in his sights last month.
Lawson nodded. “I agree. He’ll be an asset to the team.”
Holt marked something down on his sheet. “Some of the other locals all have the basic knowledge and endurance already. Kim surprised the hell out of me. I always thought she was more of the indoor type, but she knocked training out of the park.”
Grae rolled her eyes. “Just because someone wears makeup and likes to get their hair done doesn’t mean they can’t also kick booty on the mountain.”
Holt ruffled her hair. “Noted.”
Grae swatted at him and tried to smooth her blond locks.
“What about those we need to keep an eye on?” Roan asked.
Holt’s mouth pressed into a firm line. “Dan McConnell and Kevin Sellers for sure.”
Lawson and I groaned in unison.
Holt’s gaze snapped to us. “They weren’t my favorite growing up either. They’ve gotten worse?”
“We’ve tossed them in lockup more times than I can count,” Lawson explained.
Holt’s brow furrowed. “Nothing popped on their background checks.”
“It’s always petty stuff,” Lawson said. “Drunk and disorderly, mostly. The occasional bar brawl. Which only makes it more absurd that Dan applies for Cedar Ridge PD every couple of years.”
I scrubbed a hand over my jaw. “Kevin’s just a blind follower, but Dan likes to create mayhem.” The problem was, they were adrenaline junkies on top of it and probably thought SAR was nothing but high-octane adventures when it was anything but.
Holt’s lips twitched. “Takes one to know one, right?”
“Hey, fun is different from mayhem,” I argued.
Dad shook his head. “Tell that to my Jeep you wrecked junior year when you and your friends decided to try mud wakeboarding on our property.”
I winced. “I worked off every repair expense.”
Grae’s mouth pinched. “I bet that was all Caden’s idea.”
As much as I would’ve loved to throw my friend under the bus for that one, I couldn’t. “It was a joint project.”
“You’re lucky one of you didn’t get killed,” Dad grumbled. “I noticed Maddie was missing for that.”
I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing. “She never would’ve gone along with it. I think she was working that day.”
“Hey,” Dan barked from across the trailhead. “Are we gonna get going on this or what?”
“There’s no way that asshole is making the team,” Lawson muttered.
Roan just grunted in agreement.
I gave the guy my best charming smile. “First exercise is patience. Lots of hurry up and wait in SAR.”
That much was true. You’d have to hurry to grab your gear and get to the search point, then wait for the rest of your team to gather. You might have to wait out the weather or for instructions from whoever was running point.
Dan sneered at me. “I don’t gotta take orders from you, Hartley.”
Holt straightened from where he’d been leaning against the tailgate of Dad’s truck. “Actually, you do. Nash will be running our field exercises today.”
Dan’s mouth snapped closed, and I had to fight a laugh. It took him a couple of seconds to speak. “I thought you were in charge of this thing.”
“I am,” Holt said. “But I give members different leadership responsibilities.”
Kevin moved alongside his friend. “And, of course, you give that to your brother. Typical.”
“Yes, all my siblings and my dad are volunteers on the team. But they don’t get preferential treatment.”
“Usually, it means we get the grunt work,” I mumbled.
Grae chuckled. “I do like it when you have to play the injured hiker. I could punch you this time. Make sure it’s authentic.”
I grabbed Grae and put her in a headlock, giving her a noogie for good measure.
She shrieked, twisting so she could pinch my side.
“Careful,” Dad snapped at me.
Grae and I froze. She pulled out of my hold and sent our dad a withering look. “I’ve got diabetes, Dad, not brittle bone disease. I’m not going to break.”
She stalked off toward a gathering of some other locals.
I winced as Dad watched her go. We’d all been there, overstepping where we shouldn’t. It was hard not to. Almost losing someone had a way of marking you.
“Okay,” I called to the group. “Who wants to play victim first? And what’s your injury? Severed arm? Explosive stomach issues?”
Several people in the crowd laughed, but Dan and Kevin just glared.
Lawson shook his head as he stepped forward. “I’ll play the victim this time. But you’ll have to keep the explosive stomach issues to yourself.”
I chuckled and slapped him on the back. “Okay, let’s get this show on the road, people.”
And that wasn’t just for their benefit. An energy hummed beneath my skin. The need to get back to Maddie. To check on her. To just be in her presence. Because after living without her for so long, I wasn’t wasting another second.
