I stared straight ahead as Nash drove toward my cabin. I forced myself to focus on that yellow line and nothing else as we curved around the mountain roads. It was like a form of meditation. If I could just keep focused on that, then maybe everything else would disappear.
Nash flicked on his blinker and then pulled into my gravel drive. The yellow line disappeared, and everything came flooding back. Anger pulsed through me, heating me from the inside out.
But even as pissed-off as I was, I knew it wasn’t truly at Nash. It was at myself. But if I let that fully land, I wasn’t sure I’d recover from the blow.
Nash pulled to a stop, and I was out of the SUV before he could say a word. I hurried to the door, my keys already in my hand. It took a couple of tries before I could slide it into the lock, but I finally succeeded.
I’d hoped Nash would have had enough of my piss-poor attitude that he’d go back to his place, but…no such luck. The moment I opened the door, he was right behind me. I didn’t have it in me to argue.
“I’m going to take a bath.” I didn’t bother checking his reaction. I dropped my purse onto the counter and headed for the bathroom.
Disappearing inside, I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, breathing deeply. My hands still trembled. A mixture of nightmarish memories and shame swirled inside me. I did everything I could to fight them back, but they still wreaked havoc.
Crossing to the clawfoot tub and shower combo, I pulled back the curtain and started the water. Once it was just shy of scalding, I placed the plug in the drain. I didn’t have bubble bath, but my bodywash would do the trick for now. Pouring some into the water, I watched as it foamed.
I slipped out of my shoes and work clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor. I stepped into the tub and sighed as I sank into the bath. Within a matter of minutes, the deep tub was full, and I shut off the water. Leaning back, I closed my eyes.
Those damned memories tried to break through my walls, but I wouldn’t let them in. They didn’t get a place in my head or in my life. My father didn’t get to terrorize me all over again just by showing up after all these years. And Adam didn’t get to hold me hostage anymore either.
Instead, I played my favorite game. I began designing my dream home in my mind. This time, the ground I started from was my current cabin. The structure had great bones and would make an incredible home if someone had the time and energy to devote to it.
I’d turn the serial killer basement into a combination game room and personal movie theater. I’d carpet the whole space so it was warm and cozy. Then I’d put huge, overstuffed chairs and loveseats with ottomans in the theater area. It would be perfect for those winter months when being outside was miserable.
Then I moved up to the living space. I’d update the countertops in the kitchen, maybe add a walk-in pantry. I’d refinish the fireplace with something that blended rustic and modern. Maybe stone with a hint of shimmer. And a massive sectional you could get lost in. That was a must.
A light knock sounded on the door. “You okay in there?”
“I’m designing my dream home,” I said, keeping my eyes closed.
The door creaked open a few inches.
I jerked, grabbing the shower curtain and pulling it around. “Nash! I’m in the tub.”
“I thought you said you were designing your dream home.”
“I can do both at the same time.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Can I come in?”
There was such dejection in his voice that I instantly gave in. “Fine.”
I kept the curtain pulled so just my head was visible, but the bubbles hid most of my body anyway.
Nash pushed the door open wider, stepping inside. His gaze cut to me, and he swallowed hard. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I said softly.
He walked slowly toward me and then slid down the wall next to the tub, sitting on the tiled floor. “I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. When Law pushed, I should’ve told him to talk to you if he wanted to know so badly.”
I scooped some bubbles into my hand, letting the suds run through my fingers. “I shouldn’t have expected you to keep something like that from your brothers when they knew something was up. I just…” My fingers tightened, bubbles flying into the air. “I know how people used to look at me. Like I was broken. Pathetic. I never want them to look at me like that again.”
A muscle in Nash’s cheek fluttered. “My brothers would never look at you differently because of this. What happened is on Adam, not you.”
“But now that Law knows, he’ll have to put it in the police report as something to investigate. How long do you think it will take for that to get around town?”
Nash let out a noise that almost sounded like a growl. “If anyone at the station opens their big mouth, they’ll live to regret it.”
“Because that worked out so well before.” I turned to look at him. “You got suspended, and it still didn’t end.”
When we were twelve and I’d finally returned to school after my father’s attack, Nash took on the role of bodyguard and protector. Most kids just stared and whispered behind my back, but some were cruel, calling me trash and other horrible names. One boy taunted me, saying he’d heard my father had almost killed me, and that it was too bad he hadn’t finished the job.
Nash had punched him so hard his jaw cracked. As a result, the school had suspended them both for two weeks. I’d thought for sure Kerry and Nathan would hate me. But Nathan had just told Nash he’d done the right thing, though there was sometimes a price for doing that.
The taunting and teasing hadn’t stopped, but people had stopped saying things in front of Nash.
He stared down at me, and I saw so much emotion in that green gaze. “I’m sorry. Part of it was selfish. I was losing it.” He ran a hand through his blond hair, leaving it in haphazard disarray. “I can’t let anything happen to you.”
There was such conviction in those words, each one making my heart thud in my chest a little harder. “You can’t stand between me and the world.”
Nash reached out, his hand cupping my cheek. His thumb swept back and forth, the calluses on it sending pleasant shivers across my skin. “I can damn well try.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “No one in this world is more important to me than you.”
That thudding in my chest picked up speed as my mind ran through a million possibilities for what that might mean.
Nash pulled back a fraction, his gaze dropping to my lips.
A bird let out a piercing cry, and Nash jerked back, his hand dropping from my face. He hurried to stand. “I’m gonna go pick us up some takeout for dinner. Be back in a little while.”
By the time I opened my mouth, he was already gone. As if the idea of kissing me was so traumatizing that he had no choice but to flee.
