I shot into my room in Terra House in a blur of speed and threw the door closed behind me as my heart thundered with this mournful kind of panic.
My hands were trembling and my breaths coming too fast as I reminded myself over and over again that she was okay, Darius had saved her, she was going to be fine.
But, fuck. I’d just thrown a Solarian princess off of a roof and damn near ripped her throat out with my teeth for good measure.
I glanced down at my trembling hands, spotting the wet gleam of Tory’s blood coating my fingers. I’d been trying to save her. I’d wanted to help. But I was tapped out and run dry and weak. I had to admit that much to myself. I’d been jittery all day, Mom had messaged me several times to remind me about Mars being in my chart, but I’d chosen to ignore her. I’d chosen to fuck up completely and risk someone’s life.
My fangs snapped out as I looked down at my bloody hands and a snarl ripped from my throat as I fought against my desire to lick them clean. This hunger in me, it was a cruel and heartless monster. It relished pain and suffering and bathed in blood. It didn’t feel remorse or regret, it never hesitated in taking what it wanted. But I’d lived with it for years, bending it to my will, forcing it to only ever be wielded as a weapon when I desired it. And I’d clearly fooled myself into believing that that meant I had utter control over it. That I ruled it and it didn’t rule me.
What a pretty lie that had been.
Because even now, after what I’d done, I could hardly stop myself from licking every drop of Tory’s blood from my fingers.
With a determined snarl, I shoved open the door to my en-suite, reaching out to set the water running in my walk in shower before ripping my shirt off and kicking my shoes aside.
I took a step towards the shower, but fell still as that ache in my fangs made me look down at my bloody hands again.
I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply as I tried to force the desire away from me, but the scent of blood tinged the air and made my mouth water with need. My own blood coated my face from Darius’s attack on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to heal the wounds. I deserved them. Each and every one and more.
Just wash it away.
With a grunt of determination, I opened my eyes and stepped into the shower, not even caring that I still had my sweatpants on. All I needed to do was rinse it off. Once it was gone, this would all be over.
Steam coiled around me as the water continued to pour down the drain and with a groan of hunger, I reached out to push my hands beneath the hot flow.
The second the water touched my skin, the blood began to run away and I yanked them back with a ferocious snarl as I stumbled out of the shower and my back hit the tiled wall.
I slid down it as I pushed my fingers into my mouth, groaning loudly as the taste of Tory’s power touched my tongue.
I gave in to the beast in me as I sucked and licked my hands and fingers, running my tongue down my wrists and catch every last drop as a trickle of her power washed into my veins.
My chest was heaving, my muscles trembling and my eyes closed as I lost myself to my demon and feasted on what it required.
“Cal?” Seth’s voice called out to me as I gave myself to the dark and I peeled my eyes open as he pushed the bathroom door wide. He’d raided my drawers on the way in and had stolen a pair of my sweatpants to cover himself.
“You should go,” I snarled, my fangs cutting into my tongue as I forced myself to remain where I was on the floor instead of lunging at him. “It’s not safe to be around me right now.”
“Bullshit, you’d never hurt me.” Seth moved closer and the ache in my chest tightened.
The few scraps of magic I’d drawn from Tory’s blood was nothing and this all consuming hunger in me demanded more. My gaze skimmed over his bare chest, searching out every point where his pulse flickered against his skin, before settling on his neck.
“I mean it, Seth,” I breathed, pushing my back against the cold tiles as I fought against the urge to bite him with everything I had. “I’m not myself tonight, I’m tapped out, I’m worked up, Mars is banging a fucking war drum in my head which demands sacrifice and I can’t hurt you too. Please just go.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he replied roughly, stepping closer so that he towered over me. “So you made a mistake? Okay. How many of those have I made over the years? I couldn’t even begin to count the amount of times that I’ve fucked up and you’ve been there for me.”
“This isn’t the same. If you stay here, I’m going to lose control. I’m going to bite you, and then-”
“Then you’ll feel a hell of a lot better. You know you can’t function when you’re hangry.” He smirked at me and a hollow laugh fell from my lips.
“This isn’t like craving a sandwich.”
“It had better fucking not be,” he said. “I’m no sandwich. I’m like a goddamn triple chocolate sundae with sprinkles and syrup and the juiciest damn cherry on top. Don’t compare me to a basic lunch, Cal, you’ll hurt my damn feelings.”
He leaned down and caught my arm, heaving me up to my feet and I let him because I didn’t really know what else I was going to do, but the jittery panicked feeling in my bones hadn’t lessened. I still didn’t want to hurt him. I still wasn’t sure I was in control.
Seth reached out and shut off the shower before pushing me back out of the door into my bedroom.
“Look how fucking civilised this is,” he teased, moving around me to leap onto my bed. He landed on his back and bounced amongst the cushions as he grinned up at me. “You can have me any way you want me. Usually you’ve gotta fight tooth and claw to get a taste of this and I’m offering myself up on a silver platter here.”
“Seth…” I began, but I wasn’t even sure what I was going to say. My fangs were aching and that emptiness in my chest where my magic should reside wasn’t going to feel any better until I filled it up.
“Come on, man. You can pin me down or bend me over or whatever the fuck you want. I’ll be your sub for the night. You can even tie me upside down and drain my blood into a wine glass if you like?”
I cringed at that idea and he snorted a laugh.
“Too much?”
“Yeah,” I agreed.
He slung his hands behind his head and watched me as he waited me out, but I didn’t move. I couldn’t. If I hurt someone else tonight, I felt sure I was going to snap. But I couldn’t deny the desperate need in me for blood either. If I didn’t give in, I’d end up heading out of this room sooner or later and hunting down the closest Fae and taking what I needed by force. So surely this was better than that?
Seth sighed dramatically and got to his feet before me, moving to stand so close that our chests were almost touching and the earthy scent of him enveloped me.
“Come on, Cal. I want you to,” he demanded, meeting my eye with honesty shining in his gaze and something else which I wasn’t sure I could put a name to.
My flesh was burning up with the need to take what he was offering. His body was so close to mine that I could feel the heat of him as if he were actually touching me.
I reached out slowly and gathered a handful of his long hair into my fist, gently winding it around my hand until I could use it to tug his head aside.
Seth inhaled deeply as he bared his throat to me and for a moment I was struck with the realisation of just how much he must have trusted me to show such vulnerability to me like that. Especially for a Wolf. They only ever bared their throat as a sign of submission and though I knew he wasn’t submitting to me in any way other than this, the knowledge that I had such a powerful Alpha at my mercy willingly made my heart race.
I touched my lips to his neck, my fangs brushing against his skin and a shiver danced through his flesh as I prepared to take what I needed from him.
But just as I was about to bite down, the memory of Tory laying beneath me, her throat ripped open as she choked on her own blood overwhelmed me.
I drew back with a grunt of pain, refusing to risk hurting him like that as I released my hold on his hair and the ache in my chest grew tenfold.
I fell to my knees before him, fighting with all I had to just tame the bloodlust and refuse its call. My breaths came in harsh pants and I shook my head, refusing my nature as the beast in me howled for his blood.
“Bite me, Cal,” Seth urged in a dark voice, snatching a fistful of my hair and pressing his wrist to my mouth.
I slapped his hand away with a snarl as I fought it, but the shaking in my limbs wouldn’t quit and we both knew I was going to snap soon one way or another.
“Would you sit back and watch me if I chained myself indoors every night to stop myself from running beneath the moon?” Seth demanded, using his grip in my hair to force me to look up at him.
“Running beneath the moon doesn’t hurt anyone,” I rasped.
“Maybe not most of the time. But it can. When I give myself to the Wolf, my instincts take over, I’m an apex predator pure and simple. And if I cross paths with someone who runs from me, you can bet your ass I’ll be chasing them down and going for the kill. You’re the most powerful Vampire of our generation, Cal, and maybe sometimes that means you’ll hurt people, but it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It just shows how fucking unstoppable you are. How strong and fierce and powerful. Now bite me before I cut a vein open myself and pour it in a glass for you.”
The last of my self control snapped at his command and I lunged at him, my teeth sinking into the flesh right above his hipbone as he grunted in surprise.
His blood washed over my tongue and I groaned in pure, undeniable pleasure as the taste of it swept me up and pulled me out of my own pain.
My hands grabbed his hips as I held him in place but I didn’t need to, he wasn’t making any effort to escape me. Seth’s grip on my hair tightened as he pulled me closer, his other hand grasping the back of my neck as his fingers slid across my skin and raised goosebumps on my flesh.
I growled desperately and a groan of pleasure escaped him too as I drank and drank, flooding my body with his power and finally finding myself in the dark.
I took more than I should have and he made no move to stop me as I feasted.
I managed to gather the resolve I needed to pull back, panting as I ran my thumb over the wound above his hip to heal it, my hand skimming over the tightness of his abs for a moment before I was pulling away.
With a burst of my Vampire speed, I got to my feet and shot away from him, coming to a halt with my back resting against the slatted doors of my closet.
Seth groaned as he looked across the room at me, swiping a hand over his face before turning away and taking a deep breath. I watched him as he paced back and forth for a few minutes, wondering what he was thinking as he carved a path into my carpet.
“You might just be the best person I know, Cal,” he said, turning his earthy brown gaze on me as he moved towards me.
“Because attacking girls and throwing them off of rooftops is such a glowing accolade?” I deadpanned, my dark thoughts sweeping me up and making me relive everything I’d done to Tory tonight with a terrifying clarity.
“No. Because you’re so selfless. How many guys do you know who would help their friend get with the girl they liked?”
“Darius and Tory are meant to be together,” I muttered. “In fact, if I hadn’t been getting in their way all this time then maybe none of this would have-”
Seth’s hand landed over my mouth to silence me as he closed the distance between us again. “Don’t do that,” he snarled.
I frowned at him as he moved his hand from my mouth and shifted it to the bruise along my jaw where Darius had punched me. A trickle of healing magic slid beneath my skin and I sighed as he slowly moved on to heal my cheek, my black eye, my busted lip, then dropped his hands to heal the black and red bruises which were blossoming across my ribs.
“I’m such a fuck up,” I said with a heavy sigh.
“You’re not a fuck up,” Seth growled. “You’re the most thoughtful, generous, amazing fucker I know.”
I snorted dismissively. “Maybe you look at me through rose tinted glasses.”
“I don’t,” he snapped. “When I look at you, I promise you I see it all. The good and the bad, the light and the dark. And you’re still the best person I know.”
My heart twisted at his words and I reached out to pull him into a hug. “You’re the best person I know, too,” I murmured.
Seth fell still, his hands still on my chest as an achingly long moment passed between us.
He turned his head against my neck. His lips brushed my skin and I froze.
My heart pounded as he moved his mouth up my neck slowly, his hands gentle against my chest as my skin tingled where he touched me.
His lips brushed against the soft skin beneath my ear and I swallowed thickly as he pressed the lightest kiss against the corner of my jaw.
My free hand moved to clasp his waist as my fingertips brushed against his skin and he groaned beneath his breath as his mouth moved along my jaw, scratching at my stubble in a way that made my flesh prickle.
My heart was hammering wildly and the breath I inhaled caught in my throat as his mouth brushed the corner of mine and a shiver danced through every inch of my body.
He moved again and I found myself looking into his eyes, less than nothing between our lips as he hesitated.
“Seth…” I breathed, not really knowing how I was going to finish that sentence.
His eyes widened then darkened and for a moment I was sure I found pain in them before he locked it away again.
“Sorry,” he murmured. “I shouldn’t have…sorry.”
He pulled back an inch and my grip on him tightened for half a second before I let him go.
He frowned at me like he wasn’t sure what that meant and I shifted uncomfortably as I looked at him.
“Maybe I should just go,” he said slowly, his voice rough as he looked at me with regret in his eyes.
“Maybe,” I repeated as he backed up another step and he bit his bottom lip.
“Are you…okay now?” he asked hesitantly.
“I…yeah, I’m okay,” I agreed.
He gave me a tight smile and turned away, dropping his sweatpants and shifting in the same movement.
He moved to the door, using his paw to open it and tossing one last glance back at me before he tore out of my room.
I watched him go with my heart in my throat and moved to close the door behind him.
My skin still tingled where he’d touched me and I was struck with the desire to call him back. But I didn’t.
A frown tugged at my brow and my mind turned over and over as I tried to make sense of the way my heart was pounding out of rhythm.
I fell back onto my bed with a shaky breath and let my eyes fall closed. What the hell just happened?
A Wolf howled mournfully beyond my window outside and a tingle ran down my spine which had nothing to do with what I’d done today and everything to do with my best friend’s visit.
