If feelings were objects, then I was teetering on the edge of a great precipice, and if girls were weapons, then Shannon Lynch was the greatest weapon of mass destruction my heart had ever been exposed to.
Because I was fucked.
I didn’t bother denying it anymore.
There was no point.
I had never felt this much for another person in my entire life.
It took every ounce of self-control I had inside of my body to walk away from her back there.
Especially when everything inside of me demanded I snatch her away from the world and keep her all to myself.
“I need you to stay safe out there, okay?”
Yeah, at this stage, it was safe to say I was thoroughly fucked when it came to that girl.
I couldn’t do this anymore.
I couldn’t fight my feelings.
Just like that game on the PlayStation, she was kicking my ass.
When she told me about the bullying, something I regrettably already knew, I felt something snap inside of me.
It felt the last piece of my resolve evaporating.
The vulnerability I had seen in her eyes when she exposed her secrets for my benefit was my breaking point.
Girls I knew didn’t do that.
They didn’t act like Shannon.
If Gibsie hadn’t come over, I would have kissed her.
I knew I would have.
I already knew what those lips felt like.
I wanted so badly to taste them again.
I would taste them again.
I was starving for her and everything she was.
Every part of her.
Inside and out.
I wanted to fight all her battles. I wanted to give her all her smiles and make her laugh and snatch her away from the rest of the world and keep her all to myself.
I just wanted her.
For keeps.
I knew that was incredibly selfish of me, and I knew that I was probably going to end up fucking up everything and breaking her heart, but the problem was, my heart was involved, too.
I needed to talk to her tonight because I needed to lay it out there.
I couldn’t go another day without getting it off my chest.
Months of wanting, lusting, and pining after her had left me at a point where I couldn’t see straight anymore.
Because I had caught feelings for Shannon.
Huge fucking feelings.
Permanent ones.
I knew I was too old for her.
I knew she was too sweet and pure to be dragged into the limelight that came with my life.
And I knew that she was too fucking broken for a guy like me to get tangled up with.
But I already felt like I was drowning with her.
That’s how consumed I was in this girl.
That’s how much I loved her.
Fuck.
